Miscellaneous: Today, my roommate will fall asleep to Muppet Treasure Island.... - FML

By Oze - 18/02/2010 09:48 - United States

Today, my roommate will fall asleep to Muppet Treasure Island. We sleep 3 feet away from each other and he has been doing this since Christmas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 703

You deserved it 2 882

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Same thing different taste

One man and his dog

By This alarm clock can go fuck itself - 11/08/2023 07:00 - United States

Today, my roommate switched jobs and now goes to work in the morning. His dog has declared that going on a barking frenzy right after he leaves is a great thing to do. Earplugs don't work - I move too much and they fall out too easily. Only 30 more days until he moves out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 598

You deserved it 102

Zzzzzzzz

By turnedintoinsomniac - 21/01/2011 19:46 - United States

Today, after months of living with my roommate's horrific snoring, I looked over to see her sleeping quietly. Elated that I might actually get a full night of rest for once, I went to bed. Just as my eyelids began to droop, she started making vile hissing sounds. Yes, hissing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 507

You deserved it 2 867

Noise

By wide awake - 31/07/2020 14:01

Today, I'm spending the night at my family’s house. I have to share a room with my two kids and their mother. The three of them snore like warthogs in a zoo. Desperate for sleep, I went to go sleep on the couch. The dog sleeping on the rug snores like an old truck. I’m never going to get any sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 395

You deserved it 224

Great solution

By sullry - 25/12/2019 05:00

Today, I had a talk with my roommate that last semester my grades took a bit because he stays up late every night playing video games. And then asked him about playing less, so I can get more sleep. Today also, he gave me a pair of ear plugs and asked if they would solve the problem. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 614

You deserved it 899

By mskawaiibat - 29/06/2013 10:01 - United States - Laguna Hills

Today, my step mom and her kids moved in. This is my first night sharing a room with her daughter. She snores, sleep talks, and sleep scratches the side of the bed creating a sound like nails on a chalkboard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 769

You deserved it 3 417

By roomie487 - 06/10/2009 21:08 - United Kingdom

Today, I met my new roommate. I also met her stuffed animals, who introduced themselves to me. My roommate makes inanimate objects talk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 223

You deserved it 4 335

Noisy boys

By Help - 01/02/2023 09:00 - United States

Today, my roommate's dogs dictate where I sleep. When my roommate doesn't work, I get to stay in my bedroom. When he does work, I have to go into the living room because they will bark at me simply because I exist until he comes back. I'm already an insomniac; loud dogs are a little overkill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 712

You deserved it 160

Zzzzzzz

By Alyssa - 21/09/2016 07:17 - United States - Spring Park

Today, my fiancé, my two-year-old, and my dog are all sleeping peacefully next to me in our new king-sized memory foam bed. It's 2:15 in the morning. Why am I not sleeping? Because they all snore, one right after the other. It's like an endless song of snoring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 309

You deserved it 1 226

By Tired Girlfriend - 14/06/2017 22:00

Today, it's 2am. I've been trying to get to sleep for the past two hours next to my snoring boyfriend. Every time I nudge him to shut him up, his body tenses, he farts, then goes straight back to snoring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 890

You deserved it 499

By Anonymous - 10/11/2010 16:32 - Argentina

Today, I woke up to find my new roommate staring straight at me. She then went on to say, "I love how you sleep," and continued to stare. I live in a residence off campus and I've already changed roommates twice this year. I'm stuck with a person who stares at me sleep for the next two years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 461

You deserved it 3 906

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Top comments

Vehicle 1

Thursday 18 February 2010 16:12

This FML is dumb. lol.

FernandoTorres_fml 0

Thursday 18 February 2010 16:17

Wait, can someone re-read this for me, I think I missed the part that makes this an FML...

Comments

nobridgejustwate 0

Friday 19 February 2010 4:19

"Call me Mr. Flinstone, he can..." wait, wrong TV phenomenon.

yoogurtisgood 0

Friday 19 February 2010 5:27

how is this a fml? i mean, who doesn't want to dream of Kermit the frog?

epictrollathon 0

Friday 19 February 2010 5:36

Tell him he needs to either wear headphones, or the frog gets it...

mtc4ever 0

Friday 19 February 2010 8:05

I always used to watch muppet movies when I was little! always at bedtime cuz they're great and without being boring they put you to sleep. aw I miss those days. I'll take your roomate!

itsametaphorfool 0

Friday 19 February 2010 8:23

can i have his number?

Infamity 0

Friday 19 February 2010 10:22

http://tvshack.net/movies/Muppets_Treasure_Island__1996_/

fuckyouasshole66 0

Friday 19 February 2010 10:50

alrighty them

tomahawkinyouall 0

Saturday 20 February 2010 3:11

dude cartoons are awesome (the old ones) all the new stuff is retarded!!!!!! looney tunes and spongebob.. nothin beats that..:D the muppet r good too!

FockinA 0

Sunday 21 February 2010 11:01

so when he'll get in your way you know what to do. lol

Zim4 0

Wednesday 21 April 2010 7:22

only the awsomest show ever! the muppets. and u can't leave without adding MY two bits. mahna mahna. the full mahna mahna song can b found on YouTube, by the muppets, or on iTunes, by cake.

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The Top

Today, I told my roommate that I was an atheist and she laughed. I left and returned to find her and her prayer group praying for my soul. She told me to accept Jesus Christ as my lord and savior. I said no. Then she told me to find somewhere else to live. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 852

You deserved it 1 042

Today, I was on the webcam with my boyfriend. I could see that he was on the couch, and alone, so I took off my shirt and smiled, waiting to see his reaction. He smiled at me but then kept looking in another direction. I playfully asked "What's so distracting?" His answer: "History Channel". FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 435

You deserved it 10 095

The Top

Today, my son has to go live with my brother, because he got his half-sister pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 432

You deserved it 316

Today, I borrowed my uncle's car because mine was in the shop. I didn't know the jackass had a "TRUMP 2024" bumper sticker until someone threw a rock at my head. Now I'm in the hospital with a concussion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 502

You deserved it 256

Today, I was FaceTiming with my mum when she interrupted me to ask who 'the man behind me' was. I live alone, so I had a bit of a jump scare moment. She was so proud of her 'hilarious' prank, her laugh still haunts me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 453

You deserved it 83

Today, my dog nearly died when my mom fed him chocolate. After finding out dogs are not supposed to eat chocolate, she promptly grounded me for not telling her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 515

You deserved it 2 812

Today, I live in a college residence with 30 other girls in Ireland. One of them just got COVID, and we can't ask the landlord for much help because he just got Malaria. FML

I agree, your life sucks 859

You deserved it 88

Today, I learned that it is not normal to have absolutely zero desire for sex. I’m well into my 20s and not a virgin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 945

You deserved it 176