Work: Today, my sister felt guilty and told me about the changes she...

By fuck you, tasha - 24/08/2014 21:50 - United States - Milwaukee

Today, my sister felt guilty and told me about the changes she secretly made to my résumé months ago. She'd put "doing your mom" and "corporate espionage" as my hobbies, and "Justin Bieber's pussy waxer" as a previous job. No wonder I'm still unemployed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 276

You deserved it 8 643

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Almostfunny - 16/03/2011 13:01 - United States

Today, I emailed my potential boss a copy of my résumé. However, I didn't realize until too late that it was my fake resume, created for an English class project. Some of my former jobs included being a certified gangster, as well as the former president of Canada. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 354

You deserved it 52 244

By fuckel4 - 01/07/2016 20:12 - United States - El Dorado

Today, while updating my résumé, I noticed that in my list of achievements it said "Torturing middle school students". I meant "tutoring", but I guess this explains why I'm still unemployed a year after I started looking for a job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 527

You deserved it 5 330

By Anyonexx0 - 14/04/2015 18:15 - United States - Washington

Today, my sister and I heard back from a job we both applied to. I had used the knowledge from my MBA degree to write a six-page essay for the application, while she just copied and pasted hers from a random website. Guess who got the job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 794

You deserved it 3 781

Just a prank, bro

By Anonymous - 14/05/2021 22:03

Today, I had a job interview. I was feeling upbeat and confident I was gonna get the position, until I saw that my main qualification on my resume was being a "real n**ga" and "getting bitches and hoes 24/7." My brother had changed it as a prank. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 273

You deserved it 243

By waitingformyfoodstamps - 24/01/2009 10:50 - United States

Today, I sent out my resume to about a dozen jobs on Craigslist. I realized that I hadn't updated it in a while and went to double check it after the fact. My ex at some point had changed my objective to "I'm a cocksucker who needs a job real bad." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 115

You deserved it 8 395

Beyond help

By Anonymous - 03/04/2015 18:43 - United States - Minneapolis

Today, I explained to my sister that the reason she isn't getting job offers is probably because her résumé is in Comic Sans and contains TXT language and a lot of typos. She thanked me for my help by calling me a "clueless horse-fucker" and telling me to shut my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 992

You deserved it 2 511

By Anonymous - 18/10/2009 10:52 - Australia

Today, I handed out 30 resumes only to find out, after the last resume was handed out, my brother had changed the last sentence of every paragraph to 'I am a massive douche bag.' FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 917

You deserved it 7 784

Betrayal

By sisterly love - 14/08/2013 21:13 - United States - Santa Clara

Today, my sister admitted to selling pages of my diary to my old boyfriends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 207

You deserved it 4 163

By Anonymous - 20/10/2013 06:21 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my job application got denied once again. I looked over it, and saw that my roommate added "screwing over customers" and "hiding dead bodies" under my skills. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 526

You deserved it 7 102

Family secrets

By Anonymous - 22/09/2024 06:00 - United States - Marysville

Today, my sister accused me of hacking into her phone because I helped her connect to a WiFi network a while ago, and she'd completely forgotten about it. I only found that out when my mom accidentally leaked it to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 349

You deserved it 59

christina3466 17

Monday 25 August 2014 5:18

Maybe Justin Bieber will hire you.

annarcheer 19

Monday 25 August 2014 5:18

Oh my gosh that is so rude.

Comments

soulebelius 17

Monday 25 August 2014 5:42

You list your hobbies on your résumé?

slyde32 12

Monday 25 August 2014 6:18

you can tell a lot by someone's activities outside of work

PinkishToe 9

Monday 25 August 2014 19:18

when you have never worked before, that's usually something the school teaches you to do

kcgatsby 8

Monday 25 August 2014 5:51

text her boss and said she have herpes.

empeterson23 11

Monday 25 August 2014 5:53

That really sucks, but that's sort of your fault for not re-reading it over whenever you send it out.

GentlemanBastard 15

Monday 25 August 2014 6:17

Agreed. Your resume is something you may want to occasionally read over to make sure it's correct and relevant for your applications. Though that is a pretty ****** up thing to do to someone.

PokeZilla 9

Monday 25 August 2014 5:55

Even though your sister is a dick, I'm pretty sure she probably thought you'd at least read it over before and after printing it out. I'd be careful in case word gets out to other employers that "you" are just a prankster that's not really willing to work.

lixarodriguez 7

Monday 25 August 2014 6:01

bet that's the job she wants

evistman 12

Monday 25 August 2014 6:10

You deserve it. You should always look over and change your résumé for every job you apply for

missbrit818 20

Monday 25 August 2014 6:10

What a terrible evil sister!!

LostInTheZone11 29

Monday 25 August 2014 6:18

This would be my revenge, the Sugar Free Candy laxative joke, along with IcyHot in her underwear.

Anony2014 10

Monday 25 August 2014 6:26

This DEFINITELY needs a follow up post.

SasquatchDeluxe 10

Monday 25 August 2014 6:36

You didn't check your resume every time you submitted it? YDI in a big way. Don't blame your sister…if you need someone to get mad at, try looking in a mirror.