Kids: Today, my son got expelled after using the photocopier to photocopy...

By thebeachisthatway - 22/10/2012 18:56 - United States - Worcester

Today, my son got expelled after using the photocopier to photocopy his penis. He then used the copies to replace every directional arrow posted throughout the school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 252

You deserved it 5 275

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Same thing different taste

By atomwolf - 09/12/2016 17:01 - United Kingdom - Southampton

Today, I wanted to work out the volume of my penis and did so on the first piece of paper I could find on my desk. After I finished the calculations I realized that the other side of the paper was in fact my school report. It's the only copy I have. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 000

You deserved it 12 078

Right or wrong?

By Anonymous - 23/08/2022 16:00

Today, my son's school called to inform me that I had to come pick him up, as he was caught vandalising. What shenanigans had he gotten up to? Writing "Epstein didn't kill himself" on various desks and walls around the school. I'm not sure if I should applaud the sentiment, or be annoyed that he got caught. FML

I agree, your life sucks 770

You deserved it 492

By duckthehack - 28/01/2011 14:25 - Poland

Today, my 14 year old son got suspended and I had to pay for the damage after he sprayed "FUCK THE POLICE" on the back wall of his school. I'm a policeman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 979

You deserved it 8 898

Market crash

By Anonymous - 17/09/2019 20:00 - New Zealand - Wellington

Today, my son took some of my underwear to school. What's worse is he sold it to his classmate for $10. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 776

You deserved it 192

By Anonymous - 05/10/2012 23:02 - United States - Queen Creek

Today, I discovered that my 12-year-old son has secretly been printing out and selling copies of the suggestive photos from my camera that I'd taken for my husband. He's been selling them to kids at school for a dollar each. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 498

You deserved it 33 571

By Kulcha - 13/02/2009 11:07 - Australia

Today, I was expelled from school. By my own mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 429

You deserved it 40 460

By Renzy - 12/12/2012 18:32

Today, my son got suspended from school. He's in kindergarten. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 397

You deserved it 7 589

By PerpetuallyHappy - 25/09/2012 23:20 - United States - Rochester

Today, I got sent to the principal's office because my Dad decided that instead of signing his name, he would sign, "Ms. Bigtits", because he wanted to make sure the teachers were paying attention to what their students handed in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 910

You deserved it 1 940

Cursed cursive

By Mac - 16/09/2009 17:05 - France

Today, I was called by my son's school. They said he'd been forging my signature and comments in his reading book. He didn't forge them. I don't know what's worse: my handwriting looking like a 6 year-old's, or being too cowardly to admit it. He has a week of lunch detention, but I still have my dignity. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 391

You deserved it 115 812

You dingdong!

By Anonymous - 15/11/2020 13:58

Today, I was copying an assignment from my friend and was feeling confident that I was gonna pass. I later found out I copied his name too, so the teacher failed us both. He won't talk to me now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 144

You deserved it 2 303

lawls79 14

Monday 22 October 2012 22:37

He was thinkin with the small head...

Welshite 39

Monday 22 October 2012 22:38

Innovation. He's going places.

Comments

chosha_fml 26

Tuesday 23 October 2012 2:51

Bit of both. :)

skyeyez9 24

Tuesday 23 October 2012 2:55

What is it with boys and their lifetime fascination/obsession with their penises?

TrailblazerSS 5

Tuesday 23 October 2012 2:57

I have to say that's pretty badass.

TrailblazerSS 5

Tuesday 23 October 2012 2:59

40 - uh no? I don't remember anything similar happening in that movie...

ksks1234 33

Tuesday 23 October 2012 2:59

Good thing I am not his mom. I probably would have made it worse by laughing.

sugarbabyxoxo 2

Tuesday 23 October 2012 3:04

Haha, win.

EMTchic 14

Tuesday 23 October 2012 3:11

WIN !

mr_longevity 1

Tuesday 23 October 2012 3:13

Like. A. Baus.

Psych101 9

Tuesday 23 October 2012 3:17

135- Your school doesn't? That's what I get for going to a Catholic school run by priests, I guess.

Sanrio90 8

Tuesday 23 October 2012 3:25

This is probably one of the funniest FMLs I've read in awhile. I ******* laughed for 5 minutes straight. Your son is a genius troll.

Keywords

Break-ups Love Christmas Poopoo peepee Gross Miscellaneous Argument Ironic Awkward Friends Cute Haircut Relatable Work Cars You're fired Covid Health Jealousy Cheating Kids Parenting Family DIY Cats Sex Roommate Intimacy Am I overreacting? Management

The Top

Today, I realized I’ve been saying “a whole nother” instead of “a whole other” my entire life. It wasn’t until my friend pointed it out with a smirk I’ve been speaking in an alternate universe. He was also the one to point out last year that my use of "like" every three words was "annoying and cringe." FML

I agree, your life sucks 117

You deserved it 433

Today, I annoyed my friend by texting him "Meow" over and over at random times of the day because when he's drunk he meows in his sleep. Apparently a great way to get back at me was to tell my parents I wasn't a virgin, and that I got high on Wednesday. He had pictures to prove it for both. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 634

You deserved it 68 713

The Top

Today, I realised I'm so used to being invisible that I prefer it now. Human interaction is overrated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 470

You deserved it 145

Today, our son finally received his autism diagnosis. We sat our daughters down to explain and they both started celebrating, because they thought he was going to a facility and never come back. When I told them he was staying with us, our youngest actually started crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 874

You deserved it 242

Today, I found out why my roommate and best friend comes home late three nights a week. She goes to get drunk with some guy, then goes back to his house to hook up. Who is this guy? The guy I've been dating for three years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 302

You deserved it 3 102

Today, my Doordash driver texted me to let me know my son had picked up the food I'd ordered. I don't have kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 147

You deserved it 72

Today, I spent the afternoon transplanting a whole bunch of corn seedlings that sprouted, even turning over the new soil with compost and fertiliser. While watering them in, I realised they're actually all just weeds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 392

You deserved it 642

Today, I guess I accidentally left Facebook open on my work computer while I went to the bathroom, because my boss updated my status to "Unemployed." FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 508

You deserved it 55 427