Kids: Today, my son got expelled after using the photocopier to photocopy...

By thebeachisthatway - 22/10/2012 18:56 - United States - Worcester

Today, my son got expelled after using the photocopier to photocopy his penis. He then used the copies to replace every directional arrow posted throughout the school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 252

You deserved it 5 275

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Same thing different taste

By atomwolf - 09/12/2016 17:01 - United Kingdom - Southampton

Today, I wanted to work out the volume of my penis and did so on the first piece of paper I could find on my desk. After I finished the calculations I realized that the other side of the paper was in fact my school report. It's the only copy I have. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 000

You deserved it 12 078

Right or wrong?

By Anonymous - 23/08/2022 16:00

Today, my son's school called to inform me that I had to come pick him up, as he was caught vandalising. What shenanigans had he gotten up to? Writing "Epstein didn't kill himself" on various desks and walls around the school. I'm not sure if I should applaud the sentiment, or be annoyed that he got caught. FML

I agree, your life sucks 770

You deserved it 492

By duckthehack - 28/01/2011 14:25 - Poland

Today, my 14 year old son got suspended and I had to pay for the damage after he sprayed "FUCK THE POLICE" on the back wall of his school. I'm a policeman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 979

You deserved it 8 898

Market crash

By Anonymous - 17/09/2019 20:00 - New Zealand - Wellington

Today, my son took some of my underwear to school. What's worse is he sold it to his classmate for $10. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 776

You deserved it 192

By Anonymous - 05/10/2012 23:02 - United States - Queen Creek

Today, I discovered that my 12-year-old son has secretly been printing out and selling copies of the suggestive photos from my camera that I'd taken for my husband. He's been selling them to kids at school for a dollar each. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 498

You deserved it 33 571

By Kulcha - 13/02/2009 11:07 - Australia

Today, I was expelled from school. By my own mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 429

You deserved it 40 460

By Renzy - 12/12/2012 18:32

Today, my son got suspended from school. He's in kindergarten. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 397

You deserved it 7 589

By PerpetuallyHappy - 25/09/2012 23:20 - United States - Rochester

Today, I got sent to the principal's office because my Dad decided that instead of signing his name, he would sign, "Ms. Bigtits", because he wanted to make sure the teachers were paying attention to what their students handed in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 910

You deserved it 1 940

Cursed cursive

By Mac - 16/09/2009 17:05 - France

Today, I was called by my son's school. They said he'd been forging my signature and comments in his reading book. He didn't forge them. I don't know what's worse: my handwriting looking like a 6 year-old's, or being too cowardly to admit it. He has a week of lunch detention, but I still have my dignity. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 391

You deserved it 115 812

You dingdong!

By Anonymous - 15/11/2020 13:58

Today, I was copying an assignment from my friend and was feeling confident that I was gonna pass. I later found out I copied his name too, so the teacher failed us both. He won't talk to me now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 144

You deserved it 2 303

lawls79 14

Monday 22 October 2012 22:37

He was thinkin with the small head...

Welshite 39

Monday 22 October 2012 22:38

Innovation. He's going places.

Comments

TheyCallMeDamien 17

Tuesday 23 October 2012 4:09

Hopefully for his sake he took up more than half the page.

Kolden 11

Tuesday 23 October 2012 4:18

That's awesome

tinysocks 11

Tuesday 23 October 2012 4:19

Granted, that IS hilarious...

TwentyFourXXIV 13

Tuesday 23 October 2012 4:19

Your son = My hero

Fmlsea 28

Tuesday 23 October 2012 4:22

Haha gotta admit that is funny and immature ,glad it's not my kid tho cheer up OP.

69dent 0

Tuesday 23 October 2012 4:24

I never thought of that!!!

SystemofaBlink41 27

Tuesday 23 October 2012 4:26

123- i don't think they caught him... How else would he have time to replace the arrow signs?

theburninator 1

Tuesday 23 October 2012 4:52

Give the kid a bloody medal. He's going places.

scoobyfiend 0

Tuesday 23 October 2012 4:54

I for one just plain hate you noor, I think your comments are stupid and I don't like your picture because your face is stupid.

aligaga18 3

Tuesday 23 October 2012 4:57

Thats truly hilarious

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The Top

Today, I was babysitting this 12 year old. We were watching a movie, and he was being an angel just laying with his head in my lap. He fell asleep so I closed my eyes and had a little nap. When I woke up he had taken my shirt off and was feeling up my boobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 508

You deserved it 15 067

Today, my boyfriend told me to completely shave off all of my already-groomed pubic area because, "It looks so unnatural." Ignoring the obvious lack of logic, I asked him why he keeps his totally ungroomed. Turns out "Men having hair is okay. Women aren't supposed to, though." FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 090

You deserved it 13 428

The Top

Today, I celebrated my birthday with my family. As part of my presents, my parents gave me prepaid debit card. When I got home, I looked at it again and realized it's the debit card you get from selling back books to our university bookstore. I bought my own books this year. They gave me my own refund. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 704

You deserved it 2 917

Today, after months of searching, I was offered a job. After hearing how excited I was on the phone, HR docked the initial salary offer by 40% in the written contract. She said it was non-negotiable. Guess I'm back to job hunting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 635

You deserved it 475

Today, I did a themed circus performance, then went out to small club afterwards, still in my outfit. Three people asked me to join them and chat. Apparently they thought I was ''a strung out prostitute on ketamine'' and ''didn't want anything bad to happen to (me)''. I guess I looked like a Victorian-era hooker? FML

I agree, your life sucks 352

You deserved it 192

Today, I learned not to get a job as an elephant keeper at the zoo when the water at home is out for a week for renovations. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 425

You deserved it 188

Today, my dad gave my younger brother condoms and a pat on the back, even though he doesn't have a girlfriend. This is after called me a whore after he saw me kissing my long-term boyfriend last week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 155

You deserved it 4 055

Today, I decided to go to a therapy group to help with my anxiety and to meet people who felt similar. I joked with my friend that no one would turn up as people might feel anxious about going. I was right. I was the only one there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 751

You deserved it 3 782