Kids: Today, my son said his first word, which was, "Fuck". He got...

By CiaoBella - 20/06/2016 03:16

Today, my son said his first word, which was, "Fuck". He got it from my great aunt, who my wife was skeptical of our son meeting because she "says too many bad words". Sorry, Honey. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 524

You deserved it 2 768

St. Patrick's Day: Shamrocks and Tribulations
Green anecdotes of jealousy, full of shamrocks and pints, for a memorable St. Patrick's Day! More…

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Same thing different taste

Bad boys, bad boys, what ya gonna do?

By Joel Lee Burgess - 15/02/2021 22:59 - United States

Today, my wife got a call from my son's school, telling her that he was talking inappropriately in class, using bad language. Neither my wife or I ever use foul language, spoken or written. I feel like such a failure as father and parent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 733

You deserved it 367

By njh - 27/03/2015 13:29 - Ireland

Today, my 3-year-old son said to me, "Fuck a duck, Daddy." I have no idea where he heard this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 344

You deserved it 3 613

By oliveoyl - 23/07/2011 04:05 - United States

Today, my husband, who is in the Navy, had a couple of his sailor friends over to hang out. The stereotype about their swearing is true. My two year old now won't stop saying "Fuck." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 687

You deserved it 5 273

By Anonymous - 18/04/2014 22:35 - Canada - Concord

Today, my son said his first complete sentence: "Mommy likes shit." Not only will he not stop saying it, I have no idea who taught him to say it in the first place. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 382

You deserved it 4 861

Where did you get that from?

By So much wrong - 28/08/2024 08:00 - United States

Today, my son said his first word. It was the N-word. We are white. I need to have a talk with my husband immediately. FML

I agree, your life sucks 501

You deserved it 138

By Noname - 04/12/2008 04:39 - France

Today, my two year old girl said "motherfucker". Everyone laughed, even her grandparents. Our family is insane. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 088

You deserved it 9 229

By Anonymous - 31/07/2014 16:24 - United States - Dallas

Today, my son said his first word. Unfortunately, that word was "cock." I've tried convincing myself that he's trying to say "clock" but I just can't do it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 248

You deserved it 7 770

You ******* idiot

By Handuh15 - 31/05/2019 16:00

Today, I was babysitting with my best friend, watching my one-year-old cousin. We thought it would be funny to say a bunch of swear words in front of him, since he didn't know how to talk. Five minutes later, guess what his first word was? And guess who won't be invited over for a while? FML

I agree, your life sucks 528

You deserved it 3 268

In the doghouse

By Anonymous - 14/10/2024 16:00

Today, my toddler started running around the house yelling, "Daddy said a bad word!" over and over again. I don't even know what I allegedly said, but now my wife is giving me the "we need to talk" look. FML

I agree, your life sucks 429

You deserved it 92

By Nick - 20/07/2013 19:37 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I was babysitting a little boy for the first time. He kept using all sorts of profanity toward me the whole evening, so I told his mom when she picked him up. She just grunted and muttered, "Fucking cunt-ass snitch." FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 225

You deserved it 5 118

Tripartita 44

Sunday 14 August 2016 1:13

Whoa, before blaming my aunt, I'd rule out any non-native English speakers who inquire about FAQs!

Welshite 39

Sunday 14 August 2016 1:02

Wow. You should be proud of your son! All I can manage is a stuttering gurgle when I try to pronounce "*".

Comments

kristinjeaneen 21

Sunday 14 August 2016 2:49

Lmao I'm just like that aunt. I either speak really carefully around my friends' kids or just don't end up meeting them at all.

frogz 9

Sunday 14 August 2016 4:42

She didn't want the son to meet family because of measly, little, harmless words?

Soparot 29

Sunday 14 August 2016 4:59

If he is at the age where he's just starting to talk, it is very possible he is saying something else that just sounds extremely similar. I had a similar situation with my little brother, where every time he said "thank you" it sounded like he was cursing people out. Kids that age tend to say things that sound bad that when they mean something entirely different.

Core5555 9

Sunday 14 August 2016 5:34

My first word was Shit. You'll both live.

J352SAURUS 30

Sunday 14 August 2016 6:56

Not that anyone cares, but my first word was "airplane"!

ljennette25 12

Sunday 14 August 2016 13:44

My son's first word was shit too. And I know that is what he said, because we were at McDonald's and I spilled a drink and said shit, then he repeated it, over and over again

kaellas 1

Sunday 14 August 2016 5:40

I'm going to be that great aunt.

TheNewGuy03 28

Sunday 14 August 2016 6:12

I wish that was my first word.

babs22291 15

Sunday 14 August 2016 7:46

My daughters first words literally said it back to back was Apple iPhone.....

missymaster 16

Sunday 14 August 2016 16:17

Why protect kids from swears? They're just words and they are going to hear them and learn them no matter how much you try to avoid them. Your best bet is to teach your children that those are adult words and you are only allowed to say them when you are responsible enough to use them appropriately. That's what I did, I can swear my ******* face off but my kids will not repeat a single one.