Miscellaneous: Today, my toilet decided it wouldn't take any more shit from...

By Anonymous - 22/05/2011 20:31 - United States

Today, my toilet decided it wouldn't take any more shit from me, and flooded the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 781

You deserved it 6 539

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Same thing different taste

By DonPedro - 16/01/2009 14:45 - United States

Today, I took a dump at work. When I went to flush the toilet, it clogged and began to overflow. I left the bathroom as it was and as I walked out, my boss came in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 862

You deserved it 11 396

By loveloves154 - 30/03/2018 15:00

Today, our toilet overflowed during the night. Over 50 gallons worth leaked through the floor and the ceiling to the room below. I am now covered in poop water. What a way to start the day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 967

You deserved it 271

By Ferniferousfern - 20/08/2018 18:30

Today, I sat down to use the bathroom after a long day of work. My toilet, however, had other plans, as a spontaneous, ear shattering crack flooded the entire bathroom, soaking the outer carpet and shorting out my bathroom scale. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 954

You deserved it 154

Shit show

By Malakai - 23/10/2018 22:00

Today, after taking a massive shit, I flushed the toilet and it clogged. It flooded to the brim and the shit came rising to the top. I didn't know what to do so I grabbed some toilet paper and picked it up, ran to my balcony, and launched it. It landed on my neighbor's car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 268

You deserved it 3 733

By TheKingDavis - 14/02/2011 07:11 - United States

Today, after dealing with tons of drama and working a 14 hour shift, I took a shower. When I stepped out, a weak spot in the floor gave way. While falling through the floor I grabbed the toilet tank lid, which fell into the tank and broke it. Now my leg hurts and the bathroom's flooded. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 107

You deserved it 3 196

By Woody - 06/10/2018 14:00 - United States - Salt Lake City

Today, I went to take a dump at work, but the last person in the stall didn't flush. As I flushed for him, the shitty water splashed on my face. Some went in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 693

You deserved it 403

Best seat in the house

By Rachey - 10/09/2024 00:00 - Ireland

Today, I was using the toilet at a friend's house when the toilet made a strange gurgling noise. Thinking it was just old plumbing, I flushed. The water started rising... and rising. Before I knew it, water, and whatever was in the toilet, began overflowing and flooding the bathroom. I had to go ask for help, and a mop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 437

You deserved it 99

By Anonymous - 05/02/2015 15:32 - United States - Glen Allen

Today, I walked into my bathroom, only to find no toilet paper and a piece of shitty wallpaper in the bowl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 428

You deserved it 2 795

By Anonymous - 06/04/2017 18:00

Today, I had to stop on a long trip to use the restroom at a gas station. Apparently, there was water damage beneath the toilet, because after about two minutes of doing my business, it collapsed about seven inches beneath the floor. Guess who got covered in water, black mold, and poo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 936

You deserved it 398

By SeatofIgnorance - 29/08/2017 04:30

Today, during an emergency bathroom visit, I finally broke the toilet seat my fiance had nagged me for months to replace. The broken seat sent me sprawling to the floor. I was still shitting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 682

You deserved it 4 988

cymruambyth 0

Sunday 22 May 2011 23:48

well it does have a crappy job

jbird1193 3

Sunday 22 May 2011 23:55

finally, a comedian posts something on this site

Comments

irokyoursox 6

Sunday 22 May 2011 23:59

toilets have standards too

coltsluvr123 2

Monday 23 May 2011 1:48

well put napoleon

TheIrishJaneDoe 8

Monday 23 May 2011 1:56

Yeah, American Standards.

FarSide 22

Monday 23 May 2011 2:14

LOL. Funny.

sourgirl101 28

Monday 23 May 2011 3:00

TIJD, your comment cracked me up! I see you shop at Home Depot too! (:

Aerious 0

Monday 23 May 2011 0:01

All the puns are being voted down. ;(

cymruambyth 0

Monday 23 May 2011 0:04

except mine +1! woohoo!:D

Aerious 0

Monday 23 May 2011 0:21

You're cool.

RileyL29 0

Monday 23 May 2011 11:53

No. YOU, 35. You're like 15 and you have an iPhone. SO COOL.

Aerious 0

Monday 23 May 2011 21:32

So what if I have an iPhone?

username432 0

Monday 23 May 2011 0:01

bud-hum chhhhssss

PrickHead 0

Monday 23 May 2011 0:02

well aint that some shit

Shroomer 0

Monday 23 May 2011 0:02

u need to shit more often instead of unloading a week's worth at once

seraphxchild 3

Monday 23 May 2011 0:04

ha. puns.

ILoveTabz 0

Monday 23 May 2011 0:04

damn! uhmm go get a plunger QUICK!

livvyluvlaf 8

Monday 23 May 2011 3:46

too late :)

ILoveTabz 0

Monday 23 May 2011 3:58

damnit! he shoulda been a plumer! :)

atomicbaboon 0

Monday 23 May 2011 7:35

and you shoulda been a speler! :)

ILoveTabz 0

Monday 23 May 2011 13:40

your picture made me laugh :)

skorpien 1

Monday 23 May 2011 19:03

143, maybe she meant a person who puts the feather in those fancy hats? Not quite sure how that's relevant though…

BAMF519 0

Monday 23 May 2011 0:06

o shit that's bad:)!

kalbrek009 20

Monday 23 May 2011 0:07

sorry OP but this one made me LOL & made my day. :)

ohmygaaawsh29 0

Monday 23 May 2011 0:08

probably the most witty FML I've ever read.

awardZu 0

Tuesday 24 May 2011 0:01

Agreed. I'm happy to see someone could laugh at their problem, instead of the usual 'pity me' crap they spew.

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I demanded to know why my boyfriend takes so long in public toilets. He admitted his ex was such a nasty ho, she would drag him into public toilets whenever she wanted dick in public. So now every time he goes in one, he gets a boner and has to "get rid of it" before he can come out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 135

You deserved it 349

Today, my Thanksgiving sucks, pretty much bummed because someone dognapped my Shiba Inu as I went inside a store. I'm trying not to stress, even though all I can think of is, "Is he OK? Has he eaten?" Fuck, I miss my darn dog. The audacity of this person. Literally disheartening. Hopefully he returns to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 505

You deserved it 126

The Top

Today, I went to take my permit test. I had been studying for months and was familiar with the whole book. When I sat down to take my test, I didn't recognize any of the questions. I went home and found out the book I used to study was the book my mom used to take her test in 1970. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 570

You deserved it 18 846

Today, I was walking to the movie theatre with my boyfriend, when three guys muscled over and told us to hand over our phones. My boyfriend didn't waste any time pushing past me and running like hell, leaving me in tears and almost having a panic attack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 230

You deserved it 3 072

Today, i purchased myself 150$ Egyptian cotton 800-thread count sheets for my birthday, which came with matching pillow cases and everything. My girlfriend decided to wear a bleach face cream and ruined the entire set, and then followed it up with using part of my savings to buy herself a cabin vacation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 071

You deserved it 257

Today, I fell down the stairs. Lying on my back in extreme pain, I called my mom for help. When she came over, she said I looked like a dead bug, took a picture and posted it on Facebook. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 096

You deserved it 2 438

Today, after getting into bed, I found a used condom under my covers. I asked my roommate about it. She freely admitted that since my bed was comfier than hers, she had sex with her boyfriend on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 130

You deserved it 3 368

Today, I found the special needle I needed yesterday for a school biology project. I found it by walking around barefoot at 5 am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 859

You deserved it 863

Same thing different taste

Shit show

Best seat in the house

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