Miscellaneous: Today, my toilet decided it wouldn't take any more shit from...

By Anonymous - 22/05/2011 20:31 - United States

Today, my toilet decided it wouldn't take any more shit from me, and flooded the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 781

You deserved it 6 539

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Same thing different taste

By DonPedro - 16/01/2009 14:45 - United States

Today, I took a dump at work. When I went to flush the toilet, it clogged and began to overflow. I left the bathroom as it was and as I walked out, my boss came in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 862

You deserved it 11 396

By loveloves154 - 30/03/2018 15:00

Today, our toilet overflowed during the night. Over 50 gallons worth leaked through the floor and the ceiling to the room below. I am now covered in poop water. What a way to start the day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 967

You deserved it 271

By Ferniferousfern - 20/08/2018 18:30

Today, I sat down to use the bathroom after a long day of work. My toilet, however, had other plans, as a spontaneous, ear shattering crack flooded the entire bathroom, soaking the outer carpet and shorting out my bathroom scale. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 954

You deserved it 154

Shit show

By Malakai - 23/10/2018 22:00

Today, after taking a massive shit, I flushed the toilet and it clogged. It flooded to the brim and the shit came rising to the top. I didn't know what to do so I grabbed some toilet paper and picked it up, ran to my balcony, and launched it. It landed on my neighbor's car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 268

You deserved it 3 733

By TheKingDavis - 14/02/2011 07:11 - United States

Today, after dealing with tons of drama and working a 14 hour shift, I took a shower. When I stepped out, a weak spot in the floor gave way. While falling through the floor I grabbed the toilet tank lid, which fell into the tank and broke it. Now my leg hurts and the bathroom's flooded. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 107

You deserved it 3 196

By Woody - 06/10/2018 14:00 - United States - Salt Lake City

Today, I went to take a dump at work, but the last person in the stall didn't flush. As I flushed for him, the shitty water splashed on my face. Some went in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 693

You deserved it 403

Best seat in the house

By Rachey - 10/09/2024 00:00 - Ireland

Today, I was using the toilet at a friend's house when the toilet made a strange gurgling noise. Thinking it was just old plumbing, I flushed. The water started rising... and rising. Before I knew it, water, and whatever was in the toilet, began overflowing and flooding the bathroom. I had to go ask for help, and a mop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 437

You deserved it 99

By Anonymous - 05/02/2015 15:32 - United States - Glen Allen

Today, I walked into my bathroom, only to find no toilet paper and a piece of shitty wallpaper in the bowl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 428

You deserved it 2 795

By Anonymous - 06/04/2017 18:00

Today, I had to stop on a long trip to use the restroom at a gas station. Apparently, there was water damage beneath the toilet, because after about two minutes of doing my business, it collapsed about seven inches beneath the floor. Guess who got covered in water, black mold, and poo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 936

You deserved it 398

By SeatofIgnorance - 29/08/2017 04:30

Today, during an emergency bathroom visit, I finally broke the toilet seat my fiance had nagged me for months to replace. The broken seat sent me sprawling to the floor. I was still shitting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 682

You deserved it 4 988

cymruambyth 0

Sunday 22 May 2011 23:48

well it does have a crappy job

jbird1193 3

Sunday 22 May 2011 23:55

finally, a comedian posts something on this site

Comments

hollylollyxoxo 0

Monday 23 May 2011 0:09

yeah, because toilets make decisions like that

barlessprison 16

Monday 23 May 2011 6:49

Was your sense of humor flushed down the toilet?

ballesteros1992 0

Monday 23 May 2011 13:19

please tell me you are being sarcastic... please do...

Tay_dertot 0

Monday 23 May 2011 0:11

nobody wants to deal with youuur shit. . . lolololol puns are tha bommmb

misstamz 0

Monday 23 May 2011 0:11

The toilet decided 'enough is enough!'

peachezthelette 22

Monday 23 May 2011 0:13

omgggg. mine did that to me once..

KaanTech 0

Monday 23 May 2011 0:15

accses denied

Mahkymahk 0

Monday 23 May 2011 0:20

what a stubborn little bitch

OfficeNinja 5

Monday 23 May 2011 0:21

POWER TO THE TOILET! That's what you get for oppressing the working class!

turmonk 1

Monday 23 May 2011 0:21

ur not alone lol jk

Tay_dertot 0

Monday 23 May 2011 0:22

how do u"PM" on fmylife?

sourgirl101 28

Monday 23 May 2011 0:51

Through your safari.

TheresNoEffingwa 7

Monday 23 May 2011 0:24

you worded your FML beautifully

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The Top

Today, for my birthday, my husband gave me a dress he stole from my wardrobe. It was the one I'd bought myself on my last birthday because he forgot to buy me anything, and gave me cash in a brown envelope. Not a birthday card, a brown envelope. FML

I agree, your life sucks 493

You deserved it 86

Today, I finally met my dream woman: a smokin’ hot green-eyed petite redhead. Or so I thought. I met her online and “she” turned out to be a 22 year-old guy trolling me. The worst part is that I separated from my wife for this girl. She won’t take me back no matter how much I beg and plead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 127

You deserved it 4 080

The Top

Today, my teacher read my story about a haunted house for a class assignment. She liked it very much and turned it in to the office to be sent into a state writing competition. An hour later, I was called to the office where the guidance counselor called my work "disturbing" and said I "need help". FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 294

You deserved it 2 929

Today, I was walking down the sidewalk and heard a little girl ask her dad why I had blue hair. He said, "Sometimes drugs will make people do stupid things." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 512

You deserved it 38 722

Today, my mom signed me up for a swimming class to show my sister there's nothing to be afraid of. Considering I'm 17, I assumed I'd be in an advanced class. Instead, I get to spend summer blowing bubbles in the shallow end with four-year-olds as my little sister cheers me on from the steps. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 934

You deserved it 3 758

Today, my best friend on Snapchat is my mum. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 178

You deserved it 729

Today, a customer's credit card was declined. His totally reasonable reaction was to threaten to put a bullet in the back of my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 873

You deserved it 1 302

Today, I wanted to experience the free breeze while riding on my bike, so I skipped wearing a helmet for the first time in a long while. I got fined just two minutes after. FML

I agree, your life sucks 266

You deserved it 1 167

Same thing different taste

Shit show

Best seat in the house

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