Miscellaneous: Today, my weird neighbor is a conspiracy theorist and thinks...

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By Anonymous - 14/10/2013 07:13 - United States - Eagle Point

Today, my weird neighbor is a conspiracy theorist and thinks the government is trying to kill him. Someone thought it would be funny to shine a red laser light through his window. I was on the stairs when he ran past, screaming bloody murder, sending me down a flight of steps. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 125

You deserved it 3 548

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Same thing different taste

Just a prank, bro!

By Scared - 13/07/2019 02:30

Today, I played a harmless joke on my neighbors by pointing a laser pointer out of my window onto their wall. Apparently, my neighbors don't take jokes lightly as one of the sons pointed at my window while screaming and swearing, then took out a gang bandana and wrapped it around his face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 718

You deserved it 3 042

By Anonymous - 13/02/2015 20:24

Today, my thundercunt of a neighbor, who's hated me since I moved in, called the cops on me. He told them he saw me shooting up on drugs. I'm diabetic and was injecting insulin, which he could only have seen by spying on me through my living room window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 013

You deserved it 2 231

By Nell - 30/06/2011 21:10 - United States

Today, as I was going to bed, I spotted a man staring at my window from a neighbor's yard. Ten minutes later, he was still there. I freaked out, started crying, and contemplated calling the cops. My creeper turned out to be the neighbor's wooden lawn ornament. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 460

You deserved it 37 408

By inyobeddd - 02/05/2013 08:27 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, my crazy neighbor came up to me in the street and slapped me across the face, accusing me of leering through her restroom window while she showered. I'm gay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 935

You deserved it 6 722

By triple l - 15/10/2012 08:33 - United States

Today, the police searched my house because my neighbors thought we were aiming a gun with laser sight at them. We were only getting our daft dog to chase a laser light around; we don't even own any guns. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 819

You deserved it 2 733

By Matti - 17/08/2018 22:00

Today, as I sat on the toilet, I heard a noise outside. I peered through the window and found myself staring directly at my neighbor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 202

You deserved it 242

By Ghettogirl4life - 12/07/2011 13:34 - United States

Today, I moved into my new apartment. My neighbor is apparently crazy and thinks I'm trying to 'steal' her husband. She watches me and is super paranoid. I have a two year lease. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 059

You deserved it 3 177

Leave me alone

By MIB - 13/07/2011 16:26 - United States

Today, I awoke to banging at my door. It was my neighbor, accusing me of stealing her mail to spy on her, because apparently she thinks I must be some sort of secret agent. The cops don't believe me when I call, and she won't go away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 747

You deserved it 2 827

By Anonymous - 16/08/2013 20:19 - Switzerland

Today, my elderly neighbour was having some kind of house party. It was incredibly loud, so I went and asked if he could tone it down a little. He responded by grabbing a deck chair, smacking me with it, then chasing me back to my house, all while his guests cheered him on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 813

You deserved it 7 600

By ldrik1 - 11/06/2014 20:36 - United States - Syracuse

Today, my psycho neighbor finished building a cannon. An honest-to-god, on-wheels, could-be-on-a-pirate-ship cannon. And now he's testing it in the forest by my house. I'm pretty scared for my life, to be honest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 230

You deserved it 4 813

amd1314a 8

Monday 14 October 2013 14:43

Unless there really was a sniper ... 0_o

DocBastard 38

Monday 14 October 2013 14:45

It's not paranoia if they really are after you. HEY, WHO THE **** IS AT MY WINDOW!?

Comments

zaen 11

Monday 14 October 2013 14:55

I haven't laughed this hard at an FML. I'm sorry OP but looks like your in a tough situation there... maybe you should get yourself one of those lasers and hide somewhere then point it at his window xD

Dramori 29

Monday 14 October 2013 14:56

I used to shine my laser pen at a security guard in the building across from my uni digs - fun times! :)

ReallyHottChic 14

Monday 14 October 2013 14:59

I laughed way too hard at this FML! Hope you're okay.

jillytc 23

Monday 14 October 2013 15:01

Aww you poor thing ): but HAHAHAHAHA- I mean the laser guy is an ass

angelitared 27

Monday 14 October 2013 15:02

Get your neighbor some help.. Geez.

1dvs_bstd 41

Monday 14 October 2013 15:08

Sell him a tin foil hat.

JMichael 25

Monday 14 October 2013 15:08

The government is after all of us. Didn't you know that OP? Oh shit..I've said to much..

fucMyLifeSoHard 18

Monday 14 October 2013 15:08

I wouldn't exactly call myself a conspiracy theorist, but I do believe it is possible that some are true.

perdix 29

Monday 14 October 2013 15:25

Light Amplification by the Ztimulated Emission of Radiation? Are you sure that he's the crazy theorist and that you're not just uninformed about how things really work, … dunh, dunh, dunh!

DocBastard 38

Monday 14 October 2013 16:28

I was hoping I wouldn't be the only one who A) caught that and B) knew LASER is an acronym.

perdix 29

Monday 14 October 2013 16:47

#37, thanks, Doc, I can always catch a snafu that is truly fubar!

perdix 29

Monday 14 October 2013 18:25

I see "they" fixed the spelling of laser in the original story. It's probably the government trying to undermine my credibility by making me look crazy -- seeing spelling errors when there are none, ... dunh, dunh, dunh!!! (the menacing trombone players should be getting paid overtime for this comment section!)

Googolman 29

Tuesday 15 October 2013 16:15

Indeed, Doc. However, even if OP did not know 'laser' was an acronym, it still requires some degree of ignorance to spell it 'lazer'.

jrock9093 18

Monday 14 October 2013 15:37

People are crazy if you have nothing to hide! You shouldn't care

184886837272837 32

Tuesday 15 October 2013 3:46

**** you and the NSA man! I'm not a criminal in anyway but I don't want someone listening to my phone calls, reading my email and seeing what **** I watch! The constitution exists for a reason. It says the NSA can't have my data, end of story they can't have it. If this is what needs to happen for "national security" then the terrorists have already won because you're losing your freedoms, which is exactly what they want.