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By Anonymous - 14/10/2013 07:13 - United States - Eagle Point

Today, my weird neighbor is a conspiracy theorist and thinks the government is trying to kill him. Someone thought it would be funny to shine a red laser light through his window. I was on the stairs when he ran past, screaming bloody murder, sending me down a flight of steps. FML
I agree, your life sucks 47 125
You deserved it 3 548

Same thing different taste

Top comments

Unless there really was a sniper ... 0_o

It's not paranoia if they really are after you. HEY, WHO THE **** IS AT MY WINDOW!?

Comments

did you ever think about him having a disorder like schizofrenia? 'cause if that is the case, YDI otherwise YLS

emirie 21

Even if someone has schizophrenia, a random bystander doesn't deserve to be knocked down a flight of stairs.

OP was simply walking near the top of some stairs. No matter the mental condition of the neighbor, this was the fault of the idiot with the laser pointer.

perdix 29

Tobacco subsidies are proof that the government is trying to kill you. We can quibble if they actively murder us, but they do help us commit slow-motion suicide.

Stupid government with their stupid tobacco and wonderful, amazing cigarettes! Sorry, Perdix. I just quit smoking. Bad timing. But they aren't trying to kill us, just keep us complacent. They publicly wage war against the unhealthy tobacco industry while subsidizing it so we pay attention to the wrong issues but keep smoking so we're too sick to fight back. It's all a conspiracy. That's why I keep my curtains closed.

perdix 29

#45, I admire your pluck. Giving up government-sponsored tobacco isn't easy and you are to be applauded for that. Now, try to get away from the next government weapon of mass destruction: high-fructose corn syrup. Dunh, dunh, dunh!

Done. Mostly. Once every two weeks we have pizza and I drink a Pepsi. I'm against artificial and processed sweeteners, but a cheat on occasion is okay. Oh, and since I quit smoking I've had a few Hershey's minis. Chocolate makes the urge to smoke go away.

I'm sorry about you getting hurt, but that is one of the funniest things that I've read in a while

If your neighbour was a conspiracy theorist today, what'll he be tomorrow?

We all have that crazy person in the neighborhood, my neighbor keeps talking to him self

I voted YDI purely because you spelt laser with a "z". It's an acronym-turned-word and last time I checked, "stimulated" didn't start with a "z".

Tomorrow, he will think he is Jesus.

So sorry you got hurt,but whoever thought of the laser idea is just brilliant.