By HairToStay - 19/09/2016 16:04 - United States - Arvada
I agree, your life sucks
15 117
You deserved it
2 869
This is a Nearly FML. It’s an FML, nearly. It got positive votes from the users, by wasn’t approved by our team.
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Sounds to me like OP is looking for something to blame his inadequacy on. Her body, her hair, her decision, not her fault you can't get it up
Aw I'm sorry for both you OP and your wife! Obviously she tried to do something special and fun for you, but didn't realise it's not your thing! Good luck with the next few weeks while she grows out again. At least the one aspect that's not FYL is that you have an adventurous wife who is willing to do things like that for you! I'm sure you guys will sort it out. Use this opportunity to find out what each other's absolute turn-offs are so neither of you make a similar mistake in the future.
Hair today, gone tomorrow.
Warning: incoming big ass wall of text. I'm definitely siding with the OP on this one, and honestly couldn't agree more that his life sucks. There are so many things messed up about this post (and some of the comments) that it's almost laughable. Let's take the post itself first. First thing wrong with the post: either there's not enough communication in their marriage, or OP's wife didn't take his desires into consideration (which sucks either way). Yes, she can do whatever she wants with her body to make herself feel sexy. But she said the surprise was for HIM. Whatever she does as a surprise for him (whether it involves her body or not), should be something that he will actually like. Unless there's something OP isn't telling us, whether his wife knew he would be turned off or not really doesn't matter in the context of this post. Second thing wrong with the post: she told him how much her last boyfriend loved what she did for him (OP). He couldn't get it up already, and his wife thought saying something like THAT would make it better?! Maybe it's just me, but if I were to hear about how much my boyfriend's ex loved something he did for me, I sure as hell wouldn't be any more turned on than I was (or wasn't) before. It's insulting to their relationship, as well as being completely irrelevant. Just because another guy liked it, that doesn't mean OP has to. First thing wrong with the comments: #3 said "...or do something that you know she dislikes and say how much your ex loved it and tell us about it on your next FML about why your why made you sleep on the couch". And why the hell does it have so many upvotes? If the genders were reversed, I'm sure the comments on this post would look VERY different. Why should OP be punished for something that his wife, apparently, should be applauded for? Second thing wrong in the comments: #15 said "Sounds to me like OP is looking for something to blame his inadequacy on. Her body, her hair, her decision, not her fault you can't get it up". Holy ****, this is so wrong! The OP is "inadequate" because he can't perform after seeing something that is a major turn-off for him? That sounds pretty normal to me. And as I said before, what his wife said after the fact surely didn't help the situation. If his wife didn't want sex, for ANY reason, nobody would be holding it against her. But the tables seem to turn pretty quickly when the person in question is a man instead of a woman. Not only does he not get any enjoyment out of a surprise meant for him, but he gets ******* CHASTISED for it. I could make this comment a bit longer than it already is, but I'm going to get off of my soapbox now.
Have you thought perhaps her mentioning her ex liked it was not to go for the jealousy dig, but because she felt deflated that what she thought was a nice gesture wasn't received well, and was justifying why she thought it was a good idea? Cos guys generally do like it. Maybe not the best delivery, but not everyone has alterior motives, you can't assume why she said that and in what context.
Absolutely...but that doesn't mean it was alright for her to react that way, regardless of the reason why she did (possibly being hurt herself, rather than trying to hurt her husband). I don't know anyone that wouldn't be at least a little bit annoyed if they were compared to their partner's ex.
Your comment seems to somehow blame her for the lack of communication. That is a two-way street. He is just as much at fault in that area as she is. Both people in a relationship are responsible for that, not just one.
@18, @29 and @everyone that has been complaining about lack of communication How a ****** is groomed is NOT that important. It doesn't define a relationship. It doesn't even define a relationship when it's a turn-off. When you get in a relationship with a person it's doesn't suddenly turn into a race to get as much stuff as possible on the table and know everything there is to know about the other person in the least amount of time. Stuff happens, then it becomes important, then you talk about it. Hopefully it happens before something significant occurs, sometimes that doesn't work out. If the wife had a sudden urge to surprise her husband with a wax while they never talked about the possibility of waxing before then that doesn't mean they suck at communicating in their relationship. The topic at hand is grooming, not children, not desires, not religion, not politics or any other important topic. It's grooming. Chill. It's ok if this topic was forgotten.
Totally agree with you 39. In fact, I'd rather not know absolutely everything about a new partner right away. Obviously there are certain things that you need to know but, for some things (especially sexual turn ons), it's exciting to find them out as you go along. It's not the wife's fault for trying to do something nice for OP. And it's not OP's fault that he was turned off by it.
29, in general I agree, but in this specific post, it was definitely on her to communicate. 39 touched on this slightly, but I wanted to elaborate a bit. She's the one who made the change based on her assumptions of what OP would think, meaning she's the one who failed to communicate when necessary. Expecting OP to communicate his feelings about a surprise he had no idea about is absurd.
Well from a females perspective, and hell, I'm not even that girly... I feel like it could have been a 'My past experience is that guys like it, and that's why I thought it was a good idea' instead of 'My ex liked it, you should too, you're totally in the wrong'. Of course if he's feeling hurt he's going to tell it from his perspective. There's 2 sides to everything.
Well that was supposed to be in reply to #21, but it's late at night, and now I look like I'm talking to myself. #threadreplyfail :)
It happens to the best of us. I guess we'll never know the whole story unless OP posts a follow-up...which I really hope he does. :)
It's unfortunate that two people who married each other couldn't have talked about this so that your wife would have already known this about you. We live in a super ****** up society regarding discussing sex things!
Well she wanted it to be a surprise so that's probably why she didn't mention it beforehand. She probably guessed that he would like it considering most guys do. Not cool to go in about her ex liking it though.
Sorry it's not your thing, but how can you not appreciate the effort? I hear it hurts!! Maybe get a little toupee for it?
I am curious to know where one would find a "little toupee"
Stick-on moustaches.
They use it in movies all the time. It's called a merkin.
Just let her know you prefer more hair. That just cuz her ex liked it, doesn't mean you would as well. That you are not the same person as him. I prefer being smooth (swimsuits look better, and what not), but like you, I also prefer my man actually have hair. If he shaved it off, it would freak me out a bit cuz it would look prepubescent.
Everybody just gonna defend her while she brought up her ex. Like really
How do you NOT LIKE THAT???? I cannot stand hair down there. I can't understand how someone would.
Gee, maybe it has something to do with the fact that each individual person is different and has different tastes for different things? Just an idea.
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She tried to do something for you because she thought you'd like it up. But at least now she knows you're not into that
This is so ridiculous. It's fine to like and advocate for body hair, but you don't get to put down others just because it isn't their preference. A grown woman is a grown woman, we are defined by more than just the amount of hair in certain areas. You define an adult by age, as well as emotional and biological maturity, which includes many bodily features, not whether they have hair and choose to remove it. I mean, I prefer my boyfriend without his facial hair, I like when he is clean shaven. Does this mean I'm a pedophile? It doesn't, he's still has many features that clearly make him a grown man, and that is what I'm attracted to. To say a guy is into children just because he likes less hair is disgusting, they are in no way comparable. Having and preferring less hair doesn't make someone any less of an adult woman/man.