Money: Today, my wife appropriated our savings to finance her crazy,...

By Anonymous - 30/08/2013 21:05 - United States - Utica

Today, my wife appropriated our savings to finance her crazy, midlife crisis idea of designing and marketing Cheez Whiz dildos. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 684

You deserved it 3 464

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Same thing different taste

Money money money

By Anonymous - 07/11/2022 22:00 - United States

Today, my wife is pissed I bought a $600 drill set on sale for only $200, because the one I had wasn't strong enough for the job i just started at. Yet the $300 I just spent for her to go to a concert isn't even in a the equation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 221

You deserved it 121

By notabeliever - 29/07/2011 05:11 - United States

Today, my wife threw a piece of tofu cake at my head for suggesting that the money she'd spent on magic "healing" crystals and homeopathic "remedies" would've just as well been spent on a chocolate teapot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 759

You deserved it 7 210

Pushover

By Anonymous - 23/10/2021 13:59 - Australia

Today, my wife always wants to spend on big items, like a new pool or home renovations; I want to save for our future. At 45 years of age, we are in heavy debt and I have no other assets as a backup. I should have stood up to her from the beginning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 886

You deserved it 611

By Anonymous - 29/03/2013 05:37 - United States - Mariposa

Today, I found out that the money that my wife claims went into repairing her car engine actually is going towards helping her pay for a divorce. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 727

You deserved it 3 452

By stopinthenameoflove - 19/06/2014 14:37 - Ireland - Dublin

Today, my girlfriend thought it'd be witty to buy a miniature stop sign, and hold it up when she gets bored during sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 090

You deserved it 15 455

By unknown - 17/08/2019 02:00 - Canada

Today, my wife figured out I gave her a dollar store ring for our anniversary. FML

I agree, your life sucks 505

You deserved it 4 804

Your own personal ATM

By Broke - 25/08/2022 16:00

Today, my girlfriend, who collects monthly welfare cheques, demanded that I get a second job so I could buy her more things. FML

I agree, your life sucks 878

You deserved it 408

Treat yourself

By I'll never understand - 13/01/2024 23:00 - Moldova

Today, my wife spent a ton of money she took from me for a very expensive lingerie because, "it makes her feel more feminine and beautiful." Again. All this stuff just gathers dust in her drawers, and she keeps wearing the same ugly raggedy underwear for 3-4 days in a row, which is actually disgusting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 640

You deserved it 130

By wtfiswrongwithher - 07/05/2011 13:56 - Australia

Today, I discovered my wife has a YouTube channel dedicated to 20 second videos of her wearing a fake mustache and making weird sounds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 757

You deserved it 7 512

Low blow

By Anonymous - 09/01/2015 20:16 - United States

Today, I tried baking my own bread to save food money. Unfortunately I screwed it up, prompting my wife to look at me pityingly and say "Wow, can't get even bread to rise." before walking out. I have erectile dysfunction, and she constantly insults me like this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 864

You deserved it 3 977

Schizomaniac 24

Saturday 31 August 2013 5:12

No funny/clever comment this time. This is just ****** up. Your wife needs help.

Nyx_fml 23

Saturday 31 August 2013 5:10

Come on, OP. Let your wife follow her cheesy dreams. There must be lots of cheese lovers who love cheese so much that they would date it and **** it.

Comments

skatoolaki 24

Sunday 1 September 2013 15:13

How would that even work?!

ChildishHumor 4

Monday 2 September 2013 2:52

put cheese on your di&@$ snd tell her to go to town

zsshamalama 11

Tuesday 3 September 2013 6:33

Tell us more, OP. Where can I buy one?

SteveOMcBeaveO 2

Tuesday 3 September 2013 22:54

A new twist on the roast beef and cheddar.

demonicdub 2

Friday 6 September 2013 8:35

Tell her solid cheddar would work better.

JoseIsAdork 31

Sunday 8 September 2013 4:02

what's next.. a tarter sauce flavored dental dam?

shinikageWolf 15

Saturday 26 October 2013 19:12

"So I went to eat my wife out last night....and it tasted like cheese. I think she needs to go to the doctor"

KingRay 3

Saturday 30 November 2013 19:31

I guess you can say that She eats dick now w/o it being an insult.

magickiss87 22

Monday 1 June 2015 10:08

wow. that sucks. I'd be kinda pissed off! That's a stupid as fk idea. wonder where the hell she got the idea from to begin with

Keywords

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The Top

Today, after about a year of keeping it a secret from my girlfriend, I told her about my foot fetish. She said "EWWWWWWWW!" and left. She's ignoring my calls and has changed her relationship status to single on Facebook. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 573

You deserved it 6 604

Today, my husband decided to flash me while I was on a video call, so my clients announced they would only work with professionals, and ended the call. I was giving a virtual showing of a £1.2 million house they were thinking of buying. At 6% commission, my husband's junk just cost us £72,000. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 406

You deserved it 276

The Top

Today, we were slowly introducing my daughter to the pool to help her get over her terrible fear of water. My father-in-law scoffed, called us pussies, and tossed my daughter straight into the water. When I threw him out, he insisted he was just trying to teach her to swim "the right way." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 228

You deserved it 285

Today, a couple convinced me I should ask out their daughter I went to school with, because it’s "obvious" we like each other. I do have a crush on her, so I decided to bravely go for it. She didn’t just say no, it was, “Ew, no, weirdo.” All her parents could say was, “Wow, we misjudged that, our bad.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 819

You deserved it 116

Today, I can no longer leave my son at daycare, because at the age of 5, he's started manipulating the girls there into fighting over him. A kid lost a baby tooth in one such brawl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 054

You deserved it 7 066

Today, I was heading to the beach with my mom following. I went through a yellow light and got a call from her complaining that I had left her. So, I made it a point to stop at the next yellow light. She rear-ended me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 778

You deserved it 5 381

Today, I spent $300 just to find out my dog likes to drink a lot of water and then pee everywhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 948

You deserved it 625

Today, a cashier asked me if I would like to donate to breast cancer research. Since I have already made my donations this month, I politely declined. The cashier snorted and said, "Maybe you'll feel differently if someone you love got cancer." I'm a two-year survivor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 965

You deserved it 2 448