Miscellaneous: Today, my wife posted on Facebook, "FUCK THA POLICE!" She got... - FML

By Anonymous - 17/01/2012 03:19 - United States

Today, my wife posted on Facebook, "FUCK THA POLICE!" She got 40 likes. I'm a police officer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 435

You deserved it 10 641

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Night on the tiles

By Anonymous - 07/04/2022 18:00

Today, my wife got drunk and stopped for a pee against the wheel of a parked police car, with three coppers and a dog inside it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 009

You deserved it 227

By SebastianMiko - 09/11/2012 07:18 - Canada - Calgary

Today, on my job as a police officer, I received a typical domestic disturbance call. Not so typical was the address. Guess my wife's affair went terribly wrong while I was on shift. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 095

You deserved it 2 320

By single again - 06/09/2013 00:29 - United States - Chico

Today, I'm a police officer who had the honor of arresting my girlfriend of 3 months for prostitution. All of my coworkers at the station know her and won't stop giving me judging looks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 121

You deserved it 5 299

By BUSTED. - 01/12/2015 19:02 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I punched a drunk woman who kept trying to force herself onto my husband. She turned out to be an off-duty cop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 573

You deserved it 3 711

By mystery - 17/06/2012 02:08 - United States - Phoenix

Today, I found out my wife is pregnant. She hadn't even called me; I saw the news on my Facebook news feed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 731

You deserved it 2 392

By Ava_Darkflame - 01/01/2017 15:54 - United States - Philadelphia

Today, I had to call the police to get my crazy stalker of a neighbor out of my house. When the police arrived, I found out that she was friends with the officer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 512

You deserved it 168

By Alex - 07/10/2010 10:10 - United States

Today, I noticed that my wife changed her status on Facebook to "widow" and a lot of strange guys commented saying stuff like "Finally." Last I checked, I'm not dead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 513

You deserved it 3 259

By ironic driver - 04/09/2011 22:10 - United States

Today, I was pulled over for a DWI. The police officer was drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 567

You deserved it 4 614

Up to no good, sonny Jim ?

By Anonymous - 03/08/2022 10:00

Today, I went to the dentist in the same building my wife works. I decided to leave a love note on her car to surprise her. I'm currently being held by security, waiting on the cops, on suspicion of stalking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 042

You deserved it 156

Spooked

By Anonymous - 02/06/2010 18:17 - United States

Today, my wife changed her Facebook status from "Married" to "Widowed". I'm scared. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72 069

You deserved it 5 256

Next

Top comments

HollowSanctuary 7

Tuesday 17 January 2012 9:05

Cuff her and play out what she said

Complaining 13

Tuesday 17 January 2012 9:04

Perhaps...it's a sign. Maybe...could be.

Comments

brenda83002 2

Tuesday 17 January 2012 19:32

Ha that's awesome! Lol. Hey maybe she meant it literally?

moriahss_29 0

Tuesday 17 January 2012 19:57

awesome

trixy81 10

Tuesday 17 January 2012 19:58

Let's be honest.. It was pretty funny!

xX_LilSammie_Xx 4

Tuesday 17 January 2012 20:23

Wellll she is ******* the police.

arisk 0

Tuesday 17 January 2012 20:24

Haha gottem

weeman4189 0

Tuesday 17 January 2012 20:39

**** da police

irishman1989 0

Tuesday 17 January 2012 21:03

I see a divorce in the future.

Boots31 1

Tuesday 17 January 2012 21:27

Tbh.. I laughed but hey maybe she means that youre gonna get some.. Just a thought

jakec121 2

Tuesday 17 January 2012 21:28

That's when you post in the comments, "I'll be waiting in the bedroom then sweetheart"

dat_troll 0

Tuesday 17 January 2012 21:30

Arrest her for god sake

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Today, I got in an argument with my boss and I dared him to fire me because he has always said he couldn’t run the shop without me. Turns out he was just being nice all this time, my job could in fact be done by his 14 year-old niece with no training in two thirds the time. Yes, he fired me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 153

You deserved it 1 783

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The Top

Today, some popped-collar wearing shitbird tried to pick me up with the line, "You look like Marilyn Monroe's corpse! Wanna fuck?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 995

You deserved it 2 791

Today, on a plane home from Ireland, my husband who was severely hungover, vomitted in a bag before we took off. When he got up to put the bag in the bin the stewardess forced him to sit back down. I had to hold on to a bag full of vomit for a good few minutes whilst my husband was passed out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 957

You deserved it 5 607

Today, my boyfriend told me he was taking me out to eat to his favorite restaurant. He said I could order whatever I wanted and he'd pay for it. He took me to Red Lobster, knowing full well that I'm allergic to seafood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 980

You deserved it 4 640

Today, I woke up after a long night of trying to catch a moth. I'd knocked down furniture and screamed up the house to do so, but I finally got it. What did I see first thing this morning? Another moth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 610

You deserved it 23 521

Today, I was playing piano for a wedding rehearsal. Bored, I decided to pass the time playing through a book of music I found in the piano bench. Some time later the bride turned to me and screamed at me to stop. I had turned the page and had begun to play "Let's Call The Whole Thing Off." FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 162

You deserved it 51 510

Today, I woke up this morning and there was suddenly dozens of flies all around the house, so I put up fly ribbons to deal with them. Within three hours, every inch of every single one of those ribbons was covered in dead flies, and there were still more flying about. I don't have any more to put up. Uh oh… FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 038

You deserved it 165