Miscellaneous: Today, my wife posted on Facebook, "FUCK THA POLICE!" She got... - FML

By Anonymous - 17/01/2012 03:19 - United States

Today, my wife posted on Facebook, "FUCK THA POLICE!" She got 40 likes. I'm a police officer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 435

You deserved it 10 641

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Night on the tiles

By Anonymous - 07/04/2022 18:00

Today, my wife got drunk and stopped for a pee against the wheel of a parked police car, with three coppers and a dog inside it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 010

You deserved it 227

By SebastianMiko - 09/11/2012 07:18 - Canada - Calgary

Today, on my job as a police officer, I received a typical domestic disturbance call. Not so typical was the address. Guess my wife's affair went terribly wrong while I was on shift. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 104

You deserved it 2 323

By single again - 06/09/2013 00:29 - United States - Chico

Today, I'm a police officer who had the honor of arresting my girlfriend of 3 months for prostitution. All of my coworkers at the station know her and won't stop giving me judging looks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 122

You deserved it 5 300

By BUSTED. - 01/12/2015 19:02 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I punched a drunk woman who kept trying to force herself onto my husband. She turned out to be an off-duty cop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 578

You deserved it 3 711

Gotcha

By Pissed - 28/10/2024 18:00 - United States

Today, I found out that the "burglar" I caught, punched, and tied up for the cops was actually my wife's secret lover. FML

I agree, your life sucks 725

You deserved it 87

By mystery - 17/06/2012 02:08 - United States - Phoenix

Today, I found out my wife is pregnant. She hadn't even called me; I saw the news on my Facebook news feed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 732

You deserved it 2 392

By Ava_Darkflame - 01/01/2017 15:54 - United States - Philadelphia

Today, I had to call the police to get my crazy stalker of a neighbor out of my house. When the police arrived, I found out that she was friends with the officer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 514

You deserved it 168

By Alex - 07/10/2010 10:10 - United States

Today, I noticed that my wife changed her status on Facebook to "widow" and a lot of strange guys commented saying stuff like "Finally." Last I checked, I'm not dead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 519

You deserved it 3 259

By ironic driver - 04/09/2011 22:10 - United States

Today, I was pulled over for a DWI. The police officer was drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 567

You deserved it 4 614

Up to no good, sonny Jim ?

By Anonymous - 03/08/2022 10:00

Today, I went to the dentist in the same building my wife works. I decided to leave a love note on her car to surprise her. I'm currently being held by security, waiting on the cops, on suspicion of stalking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 042

You deserved it 156

Next

Top comments

HollowSanctuary 7

Tuesday 17 January 2012 9:05

Cuff her and play out what she said

Complaining 13

Tuesday 17 January 2012 9:04

Perhaps...it's a sign. Maybe...could be.

Comments

afteraprilx2 0

Wednesday 18 January 2012 5:32

How old is your wife?

aikman_wesc 2

Wednesday 18 January 2012 5:35

Cops are assholes

chlolzah 0

Wednesday 18 January 2012 5:38

Maybe she meant "**** tha police" in terms that she might've just done it ;)

Honda288 2

Wednesday 18 January 2012 5:40

Why the **** are y'all hating on him? He has a damn good point, police do abuse power all the time. And they really should worry about big dangerous crimes than picking on civilians for ignoring the no u-turn sign every now and then.

strublet 0

Wednesday 18 January 2012 5:47

Am i the only one to find this to have a sense of truth, since they probably have sex

Iceythearcher 1

Wednesday 18 January 2012 6:07

Dude! Take her up on the offer lmao. Bust seriously, fyl. (and her) gigidy.

ClassyCommando 13

Wednesday 18 January 2012 6:15

She wants that hot Fuzz...

HeartAttackSmz 1

Wednesday 18 January 2012 6:59

Well I think it's safe to say she likes her men in uniform very much ;D

lundy02 0

Wednesday 18 January 2012 7:10

Any money ur wife just finished watching hangover 2

bchelle11 0

Wednesday 18 January 2012 7:42

Lol. That is all

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The Top

Today, my laptop was slow so I used my husband’s laptop. I went to the bedroom and found it opened, so I moved the trackpad and it powered on. The first thing I see is a page with redhead porn, and another tab with nude redheads. You know who else is a redhead? The new girl at his job he tells me not to worry about. FML

I agree, your life sucks 527

You deserved it 132

Today, I was chatting with a co-worker, and she mentioned she has trouble swallowing pills. I replied that I'm lucky, because I have next to no gag reflex. Half the guys at the other registers abruptly went silent, and I'm now being constantly hit on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 199

You deserved it 17 042

The Top

Today, I found out that my colleagues had replaced my email auto-responder with a message saying, "I'm away for two weeks in Brazil. Due to the surgery, when I return, please address me by my new name: Crystal." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 706

You deserved it 3 192

Today, I excitedly showed my new roommate my pet fish. She then told me about how she purposely starved her last fish to see how long it would take before they started eating each other before starving to death. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 467

You deserved it 3 015

Today, my entire gym class had to run the 1600 with our coach calling out finishing times. My finishing time was reported as "3 days short of a year." FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 143

You deserved it 7 261

Today, I was thinking about my new diet and workout plan as I was getting dressed in the morning, feeling much thinner and more energetic. Just as the thought passed through my brain, the button on my skirt popped off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 981

You deserved it 5 941

Today, I received a written warning at work for being "unacceptably rude" to an official visitor. I guess fetching the fire hose because the building was actively on fire wasn’t a valid excuse for yelling at the dozy cow stood blocking the door to “move out the fucking way.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 722

You deserved it 149

Today, I got yelled at by my mother for making noise after midnight. What was the noise? The microwave as I made something to eat. I work the night shift and had just come home from work, and I'm the only person in this house with a job. Apparently, me not paying her overdue bills cancels that out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 540

You deserved it 93