Miscellaneous: Today, my wife posted on Facebook, "FUCK THA POLICE!" She got... - FML

By Anonymous - 17/01/2012 03:19 - United States

Today, my wife posted on Facebook, "FUCK THA POLICE!" She got 40 likes. I'm a police officer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 435

You deserved it 10 641

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Same thing different taste

Night on the tiles

By Anonymous - 07/04/2022 18:00

Today, my wife got drunk and stopped for a pee against the wheel of a parked police car, with three coppers and a dog inside it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 009

You deserved it 227

By SebastianMiko - 09/11/2012 07:18 - Canada - Calgary

Today, on my job as a police officer, I received a typical domestic disturbance call. Not so typical was the address. Guess my wife's affair went terribly wrong while I was on shift. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 095

You deserved it 2 320

By single again - 06/09/2013 00:29 - United States - Chico

Today, I'm a police officer who had the honor of arresting my girlfriend of 3 months for prostitution. All of my coworkers at the station know her and won't stop giving me judging looks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 121

You deserved it 5 299

By BUSTED. - 01/12/2015 19:02 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I punched a drunk woman who kept trying to force herself onto my husband. She turned out to be an off-duty cop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 573

You deserved it 3 711

By mystery - 17/06/2012 02:08 - United States - Phoenix

Today, I found out my wife is pregnant. She hadn't even called me; I saw the news on my Facebook news feed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 731

You deserved it 2 392

By Ava_Darkflame - 01/01/2017 15:54 - United States - Philadelphia

Today, I had to call the police to get my crazy stalker of a neighbor out of my house. When the police arrived, I found out that she was friends with the officer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 512

You deserved it 168

By Alex - 07/10/2010 10:10 - United States

Today, I noticed that my wife changed her status on Facebook to "widow" and a lot of strange guys commented saying stuff like "Finally." Last I checked, I'm not dead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 513

You deserved it 3 259

By ironic driver - 04/09/2011 22:10 - United States

Today, I was pulled over for a DWI. The police officer was drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 567

You deserved it 4 614

Up to no good, sonny Jim ?

By Anonymous - 03/08/2022 10:00

Today, I went to the dentist in the same building my wife works. I decided to leave a love note on her car to surprise her. I'm currently being held by security, waiting on the cops, on suspicion of stalking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 042

You deserved it 156

Spooked

By Anonymous - 02/06/2010 18:17 - United States

Today, my wife changed her Facebook status from "Married" to "Widowed". I'm scared. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72 069

You deserved it 5 256

Next

Top comments

HollowSanctuary 7

Tuesday 17 January 2012 9:05

Cuff her and play out what she said

Complaining 13

Tuesday 17 January 2012 9:04

Perhaps...it's a sign. Maybe...could be.

Comments

lesalmi 5

Tuesday 7 October 2014 5:40

Or she meant it literally and your getting some later ?

fantasyworld 37

Monday 1 December 2014 3:58

She technically is.

paradoxie_fml 8

Friday 26 December 2014 7:55

I'm betting it's meant literally ^.^

cantfixme36 28

Friday 13 February 2015 5:54

Well... She IS ******* a police officer..

archerchic 6

Friday 10 April 2015 20:46

Maybe she meant it literately

Repethetic 25

Saturday 31 October 2015 7:17

yeah, **** the police OP! you're going to get laid!

momo3p 22

Friday 8 January 2016 15:28

Hopefully she ***** you ;)

12398675 8

Saturday 28 May 2016 19:17

**** U

annoyedperson 25

Wednesday 6 July 2016 17:59

**** tha police comin straight from the underground

mattmast3r 6

Thursday 3 August 2017 2:37

Maybe you're overly sensitive and she was making a joke saying she wants to "****" the police? (The "police being you...who she wants to ****)

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The Top

Today, I was taking a dump in a public restroom. Minding my own business, I heard somebody go into an adjacent stall. It was dead silent and I don't think he knew I was in there. I thought I heard him scratching his arm or something. I was wrong. He was jacking off. I had to listen to it all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 989

You deserved it 3 062

Today, I came home early from work. My boyfriend and I live together. I open the door and I found my best friend watching TV on the couch, wearing lingerie. The room smelled like sex. She acted irrational and defensive, and had the audacity to ask what I was doing here. Bitch, I live here. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 837

You deserved it 143

The Top

Today, I went to Macy's to go shopping, I was wearing a shirt and tie and dressed nicely. Customers came up to me with questions, but I just ignored them. Minutes later, thinking I was an employee, the manager came and yelled at me, and threatened to fire me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 433

You deserved it 11 830

Today, my pug farted so much that I thought there was an actual gas leak. I kept checking the oven and making sure our C02 detector had batteries before I heard a squeaky fart come from my dog. Don't get a pug. FML

I agree, your life sucks 172

You deserved it 321

Today, I met the girl who dumped me because the distance between us was too great. We're in the same city again. She's now dating a Marine in Iraq. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 129

You deserved it 2 822

Today, I did a California stop during a drive with my Driver's Ed teacher. He made me get out, hug the stop sign and apologize to it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 549

You deserved it 8 052

Today, I called my boyfriend to let him know that after he gets off work, he can find me in his room wearing something sexy. He responded with, "Please don't touch anything." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 882

You deserved it 5 472

Today, I found out my boyfriend made a move to hook up with my best friend. She was about to reciprocate, only for him to suddenly tell her that she’s a horrible friend, and then he told me about it. I’m not sure if I should be picking sides here. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 711

You deserved it 216