Love: Today, my wife put divorce papers in my birthday card. FML

By divorced - 19/08/2010 10:01 - United States

Today, my wife put divorce papers in my birthday card. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 770

You deserved it 4 569

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Same thing different taste

By haphazard2007 - 02/01/2012 09:44 - United States

Today, I got a gift from my wife in the form of divorce papers. She waited till after New Year's so it wouldn't show up on her taxes for 2011. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 011

You deserved it 2 853

By you would - 04/03/2009 05:15 - United States

Today, my wife told me that she wanted a divorce. It is also my 39th birthday today. For my birthday present, she gave me a subscription to match.com. FML

I agree, your life sucks 140 978

You deserved it 7 662

By brycepetrillo - 07/09/2013 16:08 - United States - New Port Richey

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me through my birthday card. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 191

You deserved it 3 974

Commitment

By Anonymous - 07/06/2023 06:00

Today, my wife asked for a divorce. Apparently, me being forced to work on her birthday and our anniversary 3 years in a row is the absolute limit she’s willing to put up with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 564

You deserved it 842

By Jeri - 12/02/2010 08:41 - United States

Today, the day of my 29th birthday and two weeks after our 10th wedding anniversary, the only thing my husband got me for my birthday was divorce papers. Happy birthday, bitch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 661

You deserved it 4 948

By GlennGuagmire - 23/10/2016 06:23 - Saudi Arabia - Ras Tanura

Today, my wife and I were born on the same day, married on our birthday date. Today is our birthday and anniversary, and today we are getting divorced. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 028

You deserved it 1 630

By TrashGirl - 24/06/2018 01:30

Today, for our 8th wedding anniversary I gave my husband several well-thought-out gifts. He gave me divorce papers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 970

You deserved it 391

By Sarah - 01/01/2013 15:15 - United States

Today, instead of the traditional midnight kiss, my husband handed me divorce papers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 127

You deserved it 5 568

By TCRII - 28/03/2018 01:30

Today, my wife said she wants a divorce. Three days ago, I added her onto the title to my house, my bank accounts, and my business. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 013

You deserved it 766

How can I make this about me?

By Anonymous - 04/02/2022 18:01

Today, it's my birthday. My wife took me to my favorite restaurant for dinner. She made me pay for my birthday dinner, along with hers. She also got me a gift card to HER favorite store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 116

You deserved it 164

jackieeoo 0

Thursday 19 August 2010 16:07

for her birthday u can tell her she doesn't get to keep the house

Kingfmltrust 0

Thursday 19 August 2010 16:03

that's messed up. are u ok bro?

Comments

cheergirl3322 0

Tuesday 14 February 2012 16:36

Why would he deserve this. I honestly hate that button

cheer153 0

Friday 24 February 2012 18:28

Sucks for you. She is a bitch

x_Just_Ellie_x 8

Friday 9 March 2012 0:45

Ouchh.

DarthVader77 9

Sunday 30 September 2012 21:03

I would LOVE a gift like that! Seriously

TrafalgarLaw_fml 4

Monday 8 October 2012 0:21

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! I don't like being married to you..

Trent100 0

Thursday 25 July 2013 6:24

Everyone's going off at her. But she's funny as. You're clearly a dick who deserved it!!

riashah 14

Friday 8 November 2013 8:19

That's rude !

GenH2105 14

Tuesday 28 January 2014 16:47

Yeah, but what did you do to warrant this behaviour?

moocow398 6

Sunday 13 July 2014 9:21

Aw. I'm sorry to hear that op. FYL

fantasyworld 37

Monday 13 July 2015 4:25

She's a bitch, you don't deserve that.

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I learned the meaning behind the phrase, "Love you long time". It's from the movie Full Metal Jacket, when a hooker comes in and says, "Me so horny, me love you long time." I've been saying this to my parents and people at school, having no idea what it really means for over 2 weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 784

You deserved it 22 713

Today, thanks to pregnancy hormones, I had the most vivid dream of eating a caramel apple mousse cake with vanilla bean ice cream. Unfortunately, yesterday, also thanks to pregnancy hormones, I was diagnosed with diabetes. My dreams are taunting me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 932

You deserved it 266

The Top

Today, I was having fun while home alone, until my dog heard my vibrator and tried to attack me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 950

You deserved it 463

Today, I was about to have sex with my wife, so I walked into our room naked, but then whacked myself in the nuts with the door handle as I attempted to close it. She can't stop laughing, and I can't sit down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 086

You deserved it 524

Today, the only person in my entire family to show up sober and on time to my graduation was my grandma. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 716

You deserved it 4 153

Today, my twin sister gave birth and somehow now weighs less than before she was pregnant. She also has huge boobs now and not a stretch mark in sight. Meanwhile, I’m still carrying an extra 15 pounds, even though I gave birth 5 years ago, and so many stretch marks I look like a fat zebra. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 516

You deserved it 345

Today, I was rubbing one out in the shower. I guess I got a little too excited, because as I came close to climaxing, I had a serious asthma attack and had to wheeze for help. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 752

You deserved it 12 427

Today, while at work, a customer came up to me, stuck his finger in my armpit, then licked his finger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 294

You deserved it 2 441

Same thing different taste

Commitment

How can I make this about me?

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