Miscellaneous: Today, my wife's paranoia reached a new level. She spent a half...

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By she won't see a therapist - 23/04/2016 04:37 - United States - Omaha

Today, my wife's paranoia reached a new level. She spent a half hour fretting over the idea that one of the cleaning ladies at our hotel might have taken a used condom from our room and tried to get pregnant with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 545

You deserved it 1 498

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Same thing different taste

By Confused lesbian - 16/07/2018 13:30 - United States - Lynchburg

Today, I found a used condom in my bed. I haven't had sex in months and now I'm terrified. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 500

You deserved it 307

Morning surprise

By JayBausch - 17/08/2009 20:48 - United States

Today, I went to retrieve my sneakers that my wife made me leave outside the door of our hotel room. Somebody had shat in one of them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 768

You deserved it 7 069

By Anonymous - 20/02/2016 12:53 - United Kingdom - Mitcham

Today, my wife got fired for leaving work early once again. She's been doing random "spot checks" for the past month, convinced that she'll catch me cheating on her. This paranoid crap is exactly why I'm filing for divorce. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 804

You deserved it 2 244

By Martine624 - 07/05/2015 21:56 - Netherlands

Today, I spent nearly two hours listening to our cleaning lady talking about her son's infected penis, her fear of dentists, how to catch and kill ducks, her husband's childhood and her supposedly murdered dog. She ended up crying and left without cleaning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 124

You deserved it 3 479

By FUCK GOD - 03/02/2013 23:04 - Argentina - Salta

Today, for the first time in weeks, my wife felt frisky, and we started fooling around. Half-way through undressing me, she bolted out, claiming she had the shits. About five minutes later, she tearfully called out from the bathroom, begging me to bring her a fresh roll of toilet paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 136

You deserved it 4 864

So, as I was saying before I was interrupted by your colon…

By Privacy please - 30/10/2024 07:00 - United States - Richmond

Today, my wife hit a new level of clingy when she picked the lock on the bathroom door so she could sit with me while I shat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 588

You deserved it 79

By sickandtiredofit - 24/01/2012 19:50 - United States

Today, I found out that my wife has been having an affair with the guy who's been trying to get our relationship back on track. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 435

You deserved it 3 133

By Anonymous - 04/03/2014 21:06 - Norway - Nesoddtangen

Today, after nearly a month, I found out my wife isn't pregnant after all. She was just screwing around to win a bet with her friends on how long it'd take me to figure out the truth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 882

You deserved it 4 881

By lauren - 08/07/2010 04:51 - United States

Today, I discovered that my cleaning lady steals valuables from me, and covered it up by saying that "the vacuum must've eaten it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 091

You deserved it 7 103

Trust

By Anonymous - 03/02/2024 05:00 - United States - Chicago

Today, my wife revealed to me that the doctor at the fertility clinic where we stored embryos is her ex-boyfriend. She’s now furious that I don’t trust that our freezer babies are mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 522

You deserved it 335

allykaymorris 24

Sunday 24 April 2016 7:27

At least she's not paranoid that you're sleeping with the maid.

iluvyahh 16

Sunday 24 April 2016 7:22

Well, it's possible.

Comments

fantasyworld 37

Sunday 26 June 2016 21:00

I'd make her see a therapist.

kevinsagirl2323 8

Tuesday 14 November 2017 19:15

she needs therapy.

millsjoshua949 12

Saturday 1 August 2020 22:42

Don't you need to um....transfer the goods rather quickly? I don't think that stuff has a long shelf life.

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Argument Love Geek Computers Health Skincare Awkward Disappointment Retirement Work Family Money Games Friends Mysterious Weird Kids Divorce Ironic Porn Accident Miscellaneous Birthday Annoying Coworkers Gross Smells Video games Gamers Pregnancy

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Today, I'm pretty sure my husband of 8 years is sleeping with the skank who's in the fire department with him. Out of nowhere, he started texting her and wouldn’t come home until 12:30 a.m. for a whole week. When I confronted him about it, he flipped out. Sadly, it won’t be the first marriage she’s ruined. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 260

You deserved it 193

Today, I saw an elderly man fall in a crosswalk, so I jumped off my bike to help. As I helped him across, the light turned green. I then watched across a 6 lane street as someone stole my bike. FML

I agree, your life sucks 865 147

You deserved it 95 060

The Top

Today, while walking on the sidewalk with my boyfriend, I slipped and fell. Not only did he not help me get up or ask if I was okay, he got mad at me for embarrassing him in public. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 277

You deserved it 4 708

Today, a customer called me "chink eyes", "dog eater", "bloody Chinese communist" and "ching chong." I'm black. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 293

You deserved it 3 724

Today, I received an email from the secretary of my university. Even though I only have half a year left before I graduate, I'm still required to attend all the lessons for the entire year. Huh? FML

I agree, your life sucks 369

You deserved it 89

Today, my husband and I were just about to have sex. The last few months have been a shitstorm of stress, personal tragedy, financial crises, and family drama. When we finally got a moment to ourselves, I was struck with a literal shitstorm in the form of agonizing diarrhea. It’s been two hours now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 321

You deserved it 167

Today, I went for a much needed relaxing massage. As I lay down, the renovation works in the next building started up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 457

You deserved it 1 423

Today, the girl I really thought I had feelings for told me she kissed me on the cheek because I’m a sweet person, but she doesn’t want to be my partner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 646

You deserved it 202

Same thing different taste

Morning surprise

So, as I was saying before I was interrupted by your colon…

Trust

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