Work: Today, my work had an employee party at the park and I drank...

By whatislife1969 - 08/10/2017 04:30

Today, my work had an employee party at the park and I drank a little too much vodka. Towards the end of the party, I found myself making out with a tree in front of all my co-workers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 425

You deserved it 4 852

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 29/09/2009 06:47 - United States

Today, I was drinking in the park with my friends. Being drunk, I relieved myself on a nearby tree. Unknown to me, a 4 year old was having her birthday party 100 yards away. I was arrested for public intoxication and exposing myself to a minor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 928

You deserved it 73 789

Worst party ever

By Dumbass - 10/01/2019 12:00

Today, I got too drunk at a party and cracked a tooth from opening a beer bottle with my teeth, farted something nasty in a room alone with someone, tried to climb a tree and fell out, and watched my crush make out with his new girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 887

You deserved it 4 037

Sliding down

By Anonymous - 04/10/2021 07:59

Today, I had way too much to drink at a work picnic and started crying at about my ex, who cheated on me, while sitting on top of a slide at a playground. FML

I agree, your life sucks 368

You deserved it 1 226

The next day hangover

By CantHandleAlcohol - 17/05/2022 18:00 - United States - Loveland

Today, I got drunk enough to do cartwheels at a company party. In a dress. I work in HR, can’t land a cartwheel, or handle my alcohol. FML

I agree, your life sucks 236

You deserved it 1 364

By Stupid Drunk - 22/12/2012 05:01 - United States

Today, I was drunk at a party and confessed my love for my crush and told her how I felt. According to my friends, I made out with another girl not long after my confession. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 070

You deserved it 49 569

By sma93 - 17/12/2016 18:30 - United States - Baldwin

Today, after my work's Christmas party, everyone got so drunk that I had to help one of my only sober co-workers take everyone home and clean up vomit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 720

You deserved it 587

By nosey - 08/04/2013 19:20 - United Kingdom - Mountain Ash

Today, I woke up with my face covered in blood. Turns out that yesterday at my colleague's birthday party, I got so drunk that I started yelling "Nappy time!" before falling out of my hammock and face-first onto the concrete ground. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 667

You deserved it 40 132

By lovehurts - 14/10/2013 16:02 - United States - Wayne

Today, I was hanging out with a guy I like. We climbed a tree to watch the sunset, and as the sun went down, I kissed him. He fell out of the tree. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 783

You deserved it 6 138

By gingerbread - 18/12/2017 18:00 - Armenia - Yerevan

Today, I got a little too drunk at my best friend's birthday party and threw up in the pub bathroom. I wiped everything up, composed myself, and went back to the party table before promptly throwing up on myself in front of the whole pub. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 990

You deserved it 3 710

By Justanotherwreck - 20/04/2019 16:00

Today, we had an office party. I got extremely drunk and invited my younger coworker into the bathroom to make out repeatedly. Not only did he reject me multiple times, but he also looked super traumatised and hasn’t said a word to me since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 684

You deserved it 4 148

Tripartita 44

Sunday 8 October 2017 7:22

At least tell us you wore protection! You don’t want a call in nine months informing you that you have saplings.

Dave_Davington 33

Sunday 8 October 2017 4:51

Stupid sexy trees.

Comments

Dave_Davington 33

Sunday 8 October 2017 4:51

Stupid sexy trees.

exileonmainst 16

Sunday 8 October 2017 12:42

It's like they're wearing nothing at all. Nothing at all. Nothing at all.

acmariner99 25

Sunday 8 October 2017 5:22

When’s the wedding?

inappropes 31

Sunday 8 October 2017 6:02

At least you aren't a birtchy drunk.

Tripartita 44

Sunday 8 October 2017 7:22

At least tell us you wore protection! You don’t want a call in nine months informing you that you have saplings.

Taurus_ChicKa 36

Sunday 8 October 2017 7:49

Now that's what I call having wood!

Lobby_Bee 17

Sunday 8 October 2017 9:10

Can't say I haven't thought about it myself, mother nature is one sexy MILF.

exileonmainst 16

Sunday 8 October 2017 9:51

Do want ents? Because this is how you get ents!

lexos 16

Sunday 8 October 2017 10:29

Did it end in a treesome?

Glowworm56 26

Sunday 8 October 2017 14:11

I know Groot is a fan favorite, but this is just ridiculous!

longnight83 8

Sunday 8 October 2017 14:54

"That wasn't a woman?" "No, it was a bush! It had twigs and leaves, 'cause it was a bush!" "That's where that scar comes from!" "From sexing a bush!"

Keywords

Love Cheating Money Relatable Work Jealousy My ex Health Accident Medication ADHD Weather Snow Miscellaneous Embarrassing Awkward Am I overreacting? Relationship advice Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Friends Gross Fight

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Today, I was babysitting this 12 year old. We were watching a movie, and he was being an angel just laying with his head in my lap. He fell asleep so I closed my eyes and had a little nap. When I woke up he had taken my shirt off and was feeling up my boobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 491

You deserved it 15 057

Well. I must admit when I first received today's illustration, seeing the massive pliers pop out kind of freaked me out. Then I reached the last panel and I'm not sure if it's out of anxiety relief or what, but I laughed so hard I might have choked a...

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You deserved it 0

The Top

Today, for the second time in two months, the person in the bathroom stall next to me commented on how loud I pee. This time, she made racehorse noises. I'm now too self-conscious to pee in public again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 615

You deserved it 3 205

Today, I drunkenly hooked up with my friend. Two weeks before Valentine's day. She expects me to buy her a present because we've known each other for a while, and apparently thinks it's more than a drunk hookup. FML

I agree, your life sucks 360

You deserved it 1 842

Today, my drunk mom informed me that out of all my potential brothers and sisters she’s swallowed over the years she’s "glad" I’m the one she "accidentally drooled onto her crotch, swam up her fanny and invaded" her "virgin egg." This kind of shit is why I moved out at 16 and still have a therapist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 548

You deserved it 154

Today, the plant on my windowsill fell and landed in my face while I was napping. It's a cactus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 202

You deserved it 7 945

Today, I was standing on the balcony I share with the neighboring apartment. My morbidly obese neighbor didn't know I was there, and walked out with her breasts exposed. Her boyfriend then walked out and struck up a conversation with me about the fine weather we're having. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 553

You deserved it 169

Today, I was woken up by an overly sappy good morning text from my boyfriend, complete with kissy-face images. Before I could text him back, he sent a follow-up. "Oops. Wrong person." Wait, what? FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 012

You deserved it 332

Same thing different taste

Worst party ever

Sliding down

The next day hangover

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