Work: Today, my work had an employee party at the park and I drank...

By whatislife1969 - 08/10/2017 04:30

Today, my work had an employee party at the park and I drank a little too much vodka. Towards the end of the party, I found myself making out with a tree in front of all my co-workers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 425

You deserved it 4 852

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 29/09/2009 06:47 - United States

Today, I was drinking in the park with my friends. Being drunk, I relieved myself on a nearby tree. Unknown to me, a 4 year old was having her birthday party 100 yards away. I was arrested for public intoxication and exposing myself to a minor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 928

You deserved it 73 789

Worst party ever

By Dumbass - 10/01/2019 12:00

Today, I got too drunk at a party and cracked a tooth from opening a beer bottle with my teeth, farted something nasty in a room alone with someone, tried to climb a tree and fell out, and watched my crush make out with his new girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 887

You deserved it 4 037

Sliding down

By Anonymous - 04/10/2021 07:59

Today, I had way too much to drink at a work picnic and started crying at about my ex, who cheated on me, while sitting on top of a slide at a playground. FML

I agree, your life sucks 368

You deserved it 1 226

The next day hangover

By CantHandleAlcohol - 17/05/2022 18:00 - United States - Loveland

Today, I got drunk enough to do cartwheels at a company party. In a dress. I work in HR, can’t land a cartwheel, or handle my alcohol. FML

I agree, your life sucks 236

You deserved it 1 364

By Stupid Drunk - 22/12/2012 05:01 - United States

Today, I was drunk at a party and confessed my love for my crush and told her how I felt. According to my friends, I made out with another girl not long after my confession. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 070

You deserved it 49 569

By sma93 - 17/12/2016 18:30 - United States - Baldwin

Today, after my work's Christmas party, everyone got so drunk that I had to help one of my only sober co-workers take everyone home and clean up vomit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 720

You deserved it 587

By nosey - 08/04/2013 19:20 - United Kingdom - Mountain Ash

Today, I woke up with my face covered in blood. Turns out that yesterday at my colleague's birthday party, I got so drunk that I started yelling "Nappy time!" before falling out of my hammock and face-first onto the concrete ground. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 667

You deserved it 40 133

By lovehurts - 14/10/2013 16:02 - United States - Wayne

Today, I was hanging out with a guy I like. We climbed a tree to watch the sunset, and as the sun went down, I kissed him. He fell out of the tree. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 783

You deserved it 6 138

By gingerbread - 18/12/2017 18:00 - Armenia - Yerevan

Today, I got a little too drunk at my best friend's birthday party and threw up in the pub bathroom. I wiped everything up, composed myself, and went back to the party table before promptly throwing up on myself in front of the whole pub. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 990

You deserved it 3 710

By Justanotherwreck - 20/04/2019 16:00

Today, we had an office party. I got extremely drunk and invited my younger coworker into the bathroom to make out repeatedly. Not only did he reject me multiple times, but he also looked super traumatised and hasn’t said a word to me since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 684

You deserved it 4 148

Tripartita 44

Sunday 8 October 2017 7:22

At least tell us you wore protection! You don’t want a call in nine months informing you that you have saplings.

Dave_Davington 33

Sunday 8 October 2017 4:51

Stupid sexy trees.

Comments

my2centsworth 15

Monday 9 October 2017 0:50

Superstar!!!

gobiteme2 34

Monday 9 October 2017 1:08

So she was pining over a pine tree.

BurnInDemonFire 34

Monday 9 October 2017 3:21

The hero of this story is the co-worker who left a bonsai tree on your desk your first day back after it happened.

mattyiscool123 26

Monday 9 October 2017 4:54

Did it feel good tho?

buckdharma 37

Monday 9 October 2017 6:06

Run, Forrest, run!

Tarlachia 33

Monday 9 October 2017 12:20

Looks like you’ll be number one on the Arborist Offender’s List. Despicable!

Jess Gemi Katt 4

Monday 9 October 2017 16:38

Mmkay, no you didn't

Keywords

Love Cheating Work Money Relatable My ex Jealousy Accident Health Medication ADHD Snow Weather Miscellaneous Awkward Embarrassing Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Public freakouts

The Top

Today, my husband has been out partying all night. While my in-laws didn't ask him a single question, earlier I received more than six calls from them about when I'll be home to cook and clean. Where was I? In the office for the first time after working from home for past 3 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 058

You deserved it 111

Today, my girlfriend and I were making love. Her phone rang, and she stopped to answer it. It was her ex-boyfriend, calling her from jail. She talked to him for 15 minutes. To top it all off, before she hung up, I heard her tell him she loved him, and couldn't wait for him to get out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 822

You deserved it 4 306

The Top

Today, I was stuck crouching over the toilet after a night of drinking. My fiancé walked in, gathered my hair, and held it out of the way. When another wave of nausea hit me and I leaned in, he shoved my face into the bowl and ran out, laughing and yelling, "That'll teach ya!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 931

You deserved it 23 218

Today, and almost every day, I find out that something "mean" or morally questionable my parents used to do to me when I was a kid is actually considered abusive. I've now come to the conclusion that I was a victim of pretty much every type of abuse (except for the physical kind) during my childhood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 993

You deserved it 181

Today, I called the campus police "anonymously" while my roommate was away and told them about her weed stash because I was tired of her smoking in our room all the time. She had taken her weed to a friend's and got off scot-free. I have a hearing Monday for the Adderall they found in my desk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 788

You deserved it 130 310

Today, after 5 months in his new apartment, the only kitchenware my boyfriend has unpacked is one single butter knife. He will not unpack the rest, or let me do it for him, so if I want to so much as eat a yoghurt or stir my coffee, I have to bring my own spoon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 425

You deserved it 170

Today, my husband asked me to meet him at 6 for our date night, but I ended up being 45 minutes late. Turns out he predicted my lateness and had booked the restaurant for 7, not 6. He knows me so well, but sometimes I hate the smug smarmy bellend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 354

You deserved it 3 846

Today, my wife lost her patience with her aunt but because she can't say anything to her, she takes it out on me. Then she also blames everything on me, in that I didn't do enough to make it stop. I went against my family and relatives to be with this woman, but I get treated as a dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 451

You deserved it 306

Same thing different taste

Worst party ever

Sliding down

The next day hangover

Top comments

Comments