Transportation: Today, on the train, I was bitten by a homeless man. FML

By Anonymous - 29/12/2010 07:03 - United States

Today, on the train, I was bitten by a homeless man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 724

You deserved it 4 349

The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 26/12/2009 05:16 - United States

Today, I was riding the train home, and I sat in the row in front of a homeless woman. I noticed an old man staring at me. I got off the train after a long 6 stops, and the old man who had been staring at me walks up to me and says "The lady behind you was flicking lice onto you the whole time." FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 858

You deserved it 2 604

By Anonymous - 20/08/2013 08:38 - United Kingdom - Colchester

Today, on the train, I was sitting next to a homeless man. As we left the train he shook my hand and was seemingly on his way. That was until he caught me greeting my boyfriend, to which he decided to tell the romantic story of how he murdered a man for "getting too close to his woman." FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 885

You deserved it 3 144

By dadadoo - 06/02/2012 04:09 - United States

Today, while on the bus, I watched a homeless man pop a pimple on his arm and eat it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 865

You deserved it 3 331

By Anonymous - 18/02/2011 21:36 - United States

Today, after volunteering all day at the homeless shelter, I was mugged on my way to my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 984

You deserved it 3 573

NYC public transport

By Anonymous - 04/12/2020 17:02 - United States - New York

Today, there was a pretty girl sitting near me on the train home. I thought about asking for her number., but instead a drunk nitwit decided to wander around the car and came very close to touching her. She got up and moved to the other end, while I had to deal with a belligerent hobo who was now intent on fighting me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 861

You deserved it 184

By Anonymous - 18/05/2018 20:30

Today, on the train, a man kept grabbing my crotch. When I told him to stop, I got yelled at for harassing an elderly man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 243

You deserved it 307

The joys of public transport

By InPain - 17/10/2019 16:00

Today, while riding the train, some druggie got into a dispute with some random passengers. Even though I didn't even look at them fighting, he decided I was a threat and punched me, a pregnant woman, and some bikers. Now I've got a black eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 918

You deserved it 149

By Anonymous - 28/06/2012 21:20 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, a homeless man asked me for money in a train station bathroom. When I told him I had no money he left. He then returned only to pour a bottle full of urine on my head while I was in the stall. I use a metro card. I honestly had no money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 806

You deserved it 2 176

By SkinsCastSelection - 17/01/2011 16:46 - France

Today, I was quietly reading in the subway, when all of a sudden, at a station, the man sitting next to me stood up, slapped me, yelled "Bitch!", and rushed off the train. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 622

You deserved it 3 699

Public transport FTW

By Anonymous - 17/10/2020 17:03

Today, I was riding the subway home after a long shift at hospital. I accidentally made eye contact with a sketchy dude for a split second. He launched a wide spray of spit at me. At least I was wearing scrubs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 248

You deserved it 133

m311 6

Wednesday 29 December 2010 12:14

bite him back

Sonfang 19

Wednesday 29 December 2010 13:54

...And so begins the zombie invasion!

Comments

felizabigail 0

Monday 3 January 2011 7:13

woow(: nice life(:

daddyslilswimmer 0

Monday 3 January 2011 18:10

HahahahahhahahhHHhHhhahahhahahahhaqhhahahahahhahaha that's hysterical ..... Thou u might wanna get checked to make sure y

MasterOfTheXP 2

Monday 3 January 2011 20:46

I hope you're immune.

kaylaessex 0

Thursday 6 January 2011 5:58

he was probably trying to tell you he was hungry...

REFLEXED 7

Saturday 29 January 2011 17:45

And so begins your journey as a super hero bitten by a radioactive hobo, with the abilities of......... repulsion? Eh there are worse powers

Raddaya 3

Saturday 12 February 2011 12:52

Why didn't you kick him in the balls?

samjogoesrawr 0

Wednesday 23 February 2011 3:59

Zombieland! Time to nut up or shut up.

zendaddy0 0

Sunday 3 April 2011 4:05

I just got a **** YOU shot lol jk just had to say that

lolzkitty 0

Sunday 5 June 2011 19:59

bite him

C3_P0 0

Wednesday 8 June 2011 15:11

zombies...

Keywords

Work Relatable Art Kids Parents Family Cats Animals Money Miscellaneous Skincare Health Neighbours Party Cops Love Crush Awkward Furniture Embarrassing Argument Romantic Cute Roommate Stuck Clothes Shoes I need your advice Mental health Transportation

The Top

Today, I accidentally said the wrong name during sex. That name just happened to be "Sarah", which is both my ex-girlfriend's name and my wife's sister's name. When she asked me which one I meant, I panicked and said, "Both." FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 152

You deserved it 60 775

Today, my phone wasn't working properly. After sending out 40 texts and getting no replies, I decided to test my phone by sending it a text from my old phone. The text came through straight away. Turns out my phone's working perfectly and 40 people are just ignoring me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 535

You deserved it 12 248

The Top

Today, I was yet again cat-called while out jogging, with many men calling me "sexy lady" and even commenting on my "birthing hips", all because I chose to wear compression pants. I'm not even a woman, I'm just a guy with a really big butt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 246

You deserved it 284

Today, I took a picture of my boobs and sent it to my boyfriend, only to realize after I hit "Send" that I had sent them to the taxi driver (my last phone call) who had just dropped me off at my house. He won't stop calling my phone now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 609

You deserved it 57 653

Today, I started my job selling perfume in a department store. I decided to be creative and sprayed a little perfume towards the first person who walked by. She had an allergic reaction, and an ambulance had to be called. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 689

You deserved it 43 250

Today, my boyfriend told me that he was going to take a nap. When I asked him why he wanted to take a nap in the middle of the day, he said, "To make time go by faster." He's leaving in 9 days. We're going to be 3,000 miles apart. For a long time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 736

You deserved it 260

Today, my grandfather asked me why the broccoli I served for dinner was white. I told him it was cauliflower. He would't believe me, accused me of being a Russian spy, and stormed out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 975

You deserved it 3 247

Today, while I was at a restaurant, my drink had a straw that made a very obnoxious sound whenever I drank from it. Everyone near me was giving disapproving looks. I wasn't doing it on purpose, but they weren't buying it. Even after I got a new straw that didn't make an annoying sound, they still didn't believe me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 681

You deserved it 185

Same thing different taste

NYC public transport

The joys of public transport

Public transport FTW

Top comments

Comments