Love: Today, some random bloke introduced himself at a bar by asking... - FML

By royallymessedup - 21/08/2014 16:36

Today, some random bloke introduced himself at a bar by asking to fuck me. I got tongue-tied trying to say both "fuck off" and "please go away". I ended up telling him to "Please fuck away." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 657

You deserved it 7 887

The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. More…

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Same thing different taste

By Ad-s - 14/01/2009 05:01 - France

Today, I got together with a small gathering of friends in a bar. I go up to the bar to order something, but with all the music and noise, the barman can't hear what I'm trying to say, so he leans forward, cocking his ear towards me. For some reason, I thought he was being friendly so I kissed him as if we were saying hello to each other. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 434

You deserved it 22 880

By Anonymous - 06/07/2013 11:26 - United States

Today, while out for lunch, a guy approached me and asked for my number. I politely declined. To my dismay, he dropped to his knees, grabbed his head, and started moaning about how nobody ever gives him a chance. I felt the accusing stares. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 735

You deserved it 6 804

By Sovekipisse - 15/06/2013 22:24 - France - Arthon-en-retz

Today, I went to a bar for some drinks. A guy looked me up and down, gave me a suggestive smile, then asked for my name and number. I'd have been a little less creeped out if he hadn't been standing beside me at the urinal the whole time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 572

You deserved it 4 190

By Anonymous - 04/02/2013 01:20 - United States

Today, I was given a wedgie by a complete stranger in a crowded bar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 536

You deserved it 3 259

By Anonymous - 27/05/2014 19:26 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I was at a bar, when a heavily drunk guy came up to me and slurred "Fuucckkk lady, your face... not even with beer goggles!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 773

You deserved it 5 502

By Thai that on for size - 25/09/2015 19:56 - New Zealand - Silverdale

Today, a guy kept flirting with me despite all my hints for him to kindly fuck off and die, so I lied and said I'm a lesbian. This didn't stop him. It got so bad, I had to claim I was born with a dick and say that's why I like girls. Only then did he say "Eeewww..." and back off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 439

You deserved it 2 680

By Isitreallythatbad, - 22/12/2013 05:37 - United States

Today, I went to a local bar for a speed dating event. The first person I hooked up with took one look at my face, burst into laughter, and walked out of the bar practically doubling over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 543

You deserved it 3 653

Awww, my feefees

By Erick - 11/05/2024 18:00 - United States

Today, I saw a beautiful girl at the bar. I attempted to be friendly and hit her up for a chat. She called me a “creep” and told me to get lost. A few moments later, another guy does the exact same thing I did and she smiled and kept flirting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 433

You deserved it 278

By genderless - 17/10/2016 19:34 - South Africa - Pretoria

Today, the person I was seeing asked to be just friends. A few hours later, they tried to talk me into having sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 244

You deserved it 1 291

By Anonymous - 03/07/2015 19:29 - Canada - Winnipeg

Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He replied by telling me to fuck off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 685

You deserved it 3 476

Next

Top comments

rhysfucker 24

Thursday 21 August 2014 23:07

That's what he was hoping for.

mkstar13 13

Thursday 21 August 2014 23:07

He was probably a drunk asshole. That sucks OP

Comments

vividpictures 17

Friday 22 August 2014 4:16

I did the exact thing the other day. This type of thing always happens to me when I get nervous.

JKPwnage 27

Friday 22 August 2014 4:16

Oops

smittyboy123 16

Friday 22 August 2014 4:26

If that's his pick up line, I doubt he'll have any std's!

csjmcc 11

Friday 22 August 2014 6:08

You could say he was a little...... Cocky..... Sorry I will show myself out.

113421145311564 14

Friday 22 August 2014 11:25

Out. Get out. Oh wait....

srek 3

Friday 22 August 2014 7:15

#shrek #swag#yolo#wow#mlg#faze#fml

f_mine_fer_sure 6

Friday 22 August 2014 10:10

I dunno, sounds pretty effective to me...and original. Rather spunky, actually.

ViviMage 39

Friday 22 August 2014 14:02

I get tongue tied a lot myself and say equally stupid things!

catanita 18

Friday 22 August 2014 14:30

Guys like that do not deserve to be polite with so cut the PLEASE part.

ILookAtFMLs 13

Friday 22 August 2014 17:07

"Why I'd be delighted! Please, **** away."

Jamaican_Domo 10

Friday 22 August 2014 17:24

"Tongue tied" that's what you call it...

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Keywords

Work Annoying Health Sports Awkward Neighbours AITA Miscellaneous Erratas Ironic Disappointment Embarrassing Snoring Money Politics Cute Anniversary Love Food Roommate Pranks Pizza Cats Animals Relatable Family Mental health ADHD OCD Public freakouts

The Top

Today, my parents are so in love with my ex, they still think it’s my fault she felt unloved enough to cheat with another man. They constantly try to convince me to take her back and become stepdad to the child she conceived with the guy she cheated on me with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 794

You deserved it 115

Today, I ran into my parents' bedroom after I heard my name and what sounded like painful screams. When I opened the door, my parents were on top of each other, laughing hysterically. They needed me to find the key to the handcuffs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 237

You deserved it 3 467

The Top

Today, I found out that my parents are 28,000 dollars in debt and that my bank account has $27.17 in it. They took my money to help pay their debt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 938

You deserved it 3 343

Today, after working out at the gym, I went to grab my bag, and realized that my phone was missing. Panicking, I reached into my pocket, pulled out my phone, and dialed my mom's number to tell her I'd lost it. It took me until the last ring to realize what I was doing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 965

You deserved it 41 468

Today, I got fired on my second day on the job. I'd said that I was the former manager of a Sears that had permanently closed. Thinking they wouldn’t call and verify since it was closed, I put it on my resume. Turns out one of my coworkers used to work there for 10 years and said he never heard of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 213

You deserved it 2 841

Today, I got a haircut. Right after the lady finished washing my hair she grabbed a towel to wipe her nose. She then used the same towel to thoroughly dry my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 77 016

You deserved it 5 025

Today, I realized how much it sucks to have the same name as my dad when I overheard my mom moan his name in bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 516

You deserved it 2 568

Today, my new neighbor informed me with great relish that the house I have just bought is haunted because 30 years ago a man shot himself in the kitchen. I'm now paying a huge mortgage on a house I'm frightened to be alone in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 730

You deserved it 9 077