Miscellaneous: Today, someone spray painted a black skull on the side of my...

By andromeda80 - 28/03/2012 13:52 - United States - Lakewood

Today, someone spray painted a black skull on the side of my house. We painted over it and installed lights to hopefully persuade intruders not to vandalize the property because it would be a bright area. The lights were stolen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 495

You deserved it 2 816

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Same thing different taste

By Stormbringer - 01/02/2011 06:37

Today, I realized that someone spray painted a giant black cock on the front of my house while I was asleep. I also just recently painted my entire house yellow. Yellow doesn't cover up black penis very well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 457

You deserved it 4 119

By Anonymous - 29/08/2013 09:38 - United Kingdom

Today, my house was broken into. They didn't take much, but they did paint spunking cocks on the walls and furniture. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 818

You deserved it 2 731

By Anonymous - 28/10/2013 06:31 - United Kingdom - Leicester

Today, when I locked my newly repaired bike up, I carefully took the new rear light off it so that nobody could steal said light. Somebody stole my bike. At least I have a red light to play with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 161

You deserved it 3 944

By firebombtimEFUCKERS - 29/09/2012 16:32 - United States

Today, I finally managed to sleep, after two days of being kept awake by the miniature floodlights my neighbors have installed to scare off burglars. Only a couple of hours into my sleep, I woke up to the sound of their car being broken into. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 452

You deserved it 1 725

By Potato_Lord - 12/11/2015 04:11 - United States - Madison

Today, not only did someone steal my bike, they also managed to get wasted and drunkenly ride my stolen bike through my new screened-in front porch, destroying it and the bike. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 784

You deserved it 1 475

By Anonymous - 18/07/2011 04:26 - United States

Today, my house got robbed. They left a note: "Next time, we steal your souls." FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 149

You deserved it 3 736

By JohnyP - 09/07/2011 07:04 - United States

Today, after having my car been broken into the day before because I didn't lock it, I made sure I locked my doors. When I got off shift and entered the parking lot, I noticed a brick had been thrown through my windshield and a note that said, "Nice Try". FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 501

You deserved it 3 523

By Dumbass - 20/06/2009 06:01 - United States

Today, I bought a new mailbox to replace the old one that was stolen. Two hours after I put the new mailbox up, the old one was back and the new one was missing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 692

You deserved it 3 742

By egged - 01/10/2009 06:43 - Singapore

Today, I came home from work and found my house egged, and bricks thrown through my windows. I called the police, and submitted a report. Later that night, I heard the doorbell ring. Nobody was at the house, but there was a note saying "Sorry, wrong house". FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 162

You deserved it 2 263

By historyrepeats - 11/07/2019 04:00

Today, I woke up to a Swastika, "Go home" and "Trump2020" spray-painted on my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 617

You deserved it 318

supersmeg12345 10

Wednesday 28 March 2012 18:59

Next time install A few guard dogs and a machete

BlueEyed1019 12

Wednesday 28 March 2012 18:59

That sucks, sorry! I have a sign that says "property monitored by security cameras" even tho it isn't, and it seems to work!

Comments

Jeffo193 13

Wednesday 28 March 2012 20:53

Should've left the skull...that would have looked AWESOME xD

laden_swallow09 34

Thursday 29 March 2012 4:45

No. That would have looked trashy.

babe7260 30

Wednesday 28 March 2012 21:41

We have security stickers on our windows & doors, so far so good!!!

bd1012 18

Wednesday 28 March 2012 22:04

Sounds like a bad neighborhood :(

bertman21 5

Wednesday 28 March 2012 22:11

Get yourself a gun. Guns don't kill people. People getting robbed kill people

Jasonf6 0

Wednesday 28 March 2012 22:49

Sounds like a camera is in order, protected from theft of course.

Epiqness 0

Wednesday 28 March 2012 23:07

Wow, sounds like a horrible neighborhood.

ankoku 2

Wednesday 28 March 2012 23:12

A skull eh? Well I would have just gone ahead and painted kermit the frog instead.

angelinaanimerg 7

Wednesday 28 March 2012 23:16

Time to Install cameras, a security system, or just save the trouble and just move.

runningoverdogs 0

Wednesday 28 March 2012 23:31

better than a black dick

OfficeNinja 5

Thursday 29 March 2012 0:21

Get a bear trap. Hide it under some leaves. Install more lights. Wait for the screams of agony later that night.

Keywords

Embarrassing Love Poopoo peepee Miscellaneous Christmas Romantic Break-ups Annoying Money Gross Ironic Argument Awkward Friends Cute Haircut Lonely Holidays Relatable Bosses Capitalism Work Cars You're fired Health Covid Jealousy Cheating Kids Parenting

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Today, my brother and sister-in-law come over ONLY to use up the resources at our house - like food, TV subscriptions, and other items. They claim to love my kids and come over for them. If only they would look up from their phone and spend actual time with the kids. Is there a way to block toxic relatives? FML

I agree, your life sucks 413

You deserved it 106

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try the ice cubes in the vagina thing we'd read about. He kept sticking one in after another and they got stuck. My vagina had a brain freeze for a half an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 786

You deserved it 3 961

The Top

Today, I was at the waterpark. I decided to go down a slide shaped like a funnel. On the way down, my bikini bottom untied. Then I got lodged in a V shape, arse first, in the hole at the funnel exit, exposing myself to the entire pool until I could slither out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 417

You deserved it 8 565

Today, my brother asked me how to block someone on Facebook. Seeing as how my brother never asks me for anything, I took this opportunity to help him. He then blocked me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 298

You deserved it 7 604

Today, due to plumbing issues, I had to choose between a goosebump-inducing cold or skin-blistering hot shower. This is the 7th day in a row. My husband says it shouldn't be more than another week before he "gets it figured out". FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 596

You deserved it 3 166

Today, I know my clothing size and the clothes I buy usually fit me. Except for underwear. How come women’s panties always seem to be at least one size smaller than advertised? FML

I agree, your life sucks 677

You deserved it 146

Today, I found out my parents truly believe that Donald Trump will return to power in August. They also believed it was going to happen in March. It's like living in a death cult. Help. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 172

You deserved it 300

Today, I organized a romantic evening with one of my old squeezes in the hopes I may re-ignite something special. She showed up at 8 and told me she had to leave by 9. She was gone by 8:30. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 547

You deserved it 5 549

Same thing different taste

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