Miscellaneous: Today, someone stole my umbrella. It was pouring heavily, and...

By happyturtle - 10/10/2013 11:27 - Croatia

Today, someone stole my umbrella. It was pouring heavily, and I was using it at the time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 391

You deserved it 3 332

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Same thing different taste

By anon - 29/11/2011 23:59 - United Kingdom

Today, a guy lost control of his umbrella in the wind, which then hit me in the eye, making me bleed. He screamed at me for trying to steal his umbrella. People laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 815

You deserved it 2 277

Stop! Thief!

By kellthryn - 17/03/2020 23:00

Today, during my work shift, my car got stolen and I had to walk home on the rain. While I was walking home, my stolen car drove by. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 031

You deserved it 241

By Anonymous - 25/05/2012 17:56 - United Kingdom

Today, I replaced my car's windscreen wipers, after someone stole the last pair. After I finished, I went indoors for a drink. When I returned, the new ones had been stolen too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 581

You deserved it 2 238

By anonymous - 20/12/2010 11:23

Today, while I was walking home from work, it started to rain. Clutching my bag in one hand, I started to run so I wouldn't get too wet. I saw a man running towards me and all of a sudden he tackled me to the ground. He thought I had stolen someone's handbag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 114

You deserved it 3 268

Drenched

By Charlie - 12/03/2023 18:00

Today, I got caught in the rain without an umbrella. I arrived at work looking like a wet rat, and my boss sent me home to change. I forgot my keys at work and ended up locked out of my apartment in the rain. I can't seem to catch a break. FML

I agree, your life sucks 829

You deserved it 228

By Littlethings1 - 31/03/2016 17:07 - United States - Tallahassee

Today, my hair got stuck in my umbrella. I asked for help from passers-by, but all I got was weird looks as they hurried past me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 192

You deserved it 1 901

By dammitrain - 13/07/2010 19:43 - United States

Today, hoping to avoid the rain because I had just gotten an expensive perm, I ducked under an awning. At that moment, the store manager shook the awning, and about 6 hours of rain dumped on my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 489

You deserved it 8 468

This is how I roll

By Carrie P - 14/08/2024 20:00 - France - Lambesc

Today, I went out to where I'd parked my bike only to find that someone had stolen my bike seat. Not the bike, just the seat. I had to ride my bike two miles home in the rain like I was climbing a hill in the Tour de France, while other cyclists moved out of my way in confusion, all while trying to avoid me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 417

You deserved it 82

By Anonymous - 06/03/2014 02:09 - United Kingdom - Portsmouth

Today, I was walking through town with my hood up and noticed people giving me funny looks. It wasn't until I got home that I realised the umbrella I was holding over my head had been closed the whole time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 249

You deserved it 16 851

By letsloseweight - 13/07/2009 11:30 - Korea Republic of

Today, it started raining unexpectedly. My daughter and I didn't have an umbrella, so my daughter raised one of my big flabby arms and put it over her head to protect her from the rain. It worked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 302

You deserved it 45 238

mif_fml 27

Thursday 10 October 2013 17:24

How do you know it's raining cats and dogs? When you step in a poodle!

SauceySarah 30

Thursday 10 October 2013 16:09

I would've ran after them and kicked some ass.

Comments

DemonicMRX11 8

Friday 11 October 2013 11:10

Hope your next one has a point at the end for fighting back against muggers.

tranced_ 45

Saturday 12 October 2013 4:27

10 on 10 for that kinda stealth!

PrincessK 11

Wednesday 14 November 2018 20:47

its one of those cases where if you're not fast you're last. !

Keywords

Miscellaneous Relatable Awkward Embarrassing Health Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Love Work Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Public freakouts Fight Cops Drugs Neighbours Medication Teenagers Animals Dogs Gamers

The Top

Today, my longtime crush, who turned me down because he’s “sick of women”, just got into a relationship. He made it Facebook official, with photos of them and everything. Wanting to even the score, I commented, “So it seems your sickness of women is cured, huh?” He bitched at me for “ruining his moment” and deleted me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 108

You deserved it 1 003

Today, I went to my room to find my girlfriend on the floor, butt up, with her pants down. I elatedly took the invitation and dropped my pants too, only for her to tell me, "Not so fast champ, I'm trying to force some farts out." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 092

You deserved it 471

The Top

Today, I went to my first university party already a little drunk. I perched on the end of a table to cool off from the dancing and the whole table tipped over and dumped me onto the floor. I was promptly laughed out of the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 429

You deserved it 881

Today, I had 3 teeth pulled. Due to the anaesthesia, my mom came along to drive me home. Halfway through my surgery, she decided to leave and go shopping with her friend. She even left a note with the receptionist, saying that I needed to take on my own adult responsibilities. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 366

You deserved it 1 847

Today, I found my recent ex's dating app profile. All the photos are ones that I took of him. Glad I could help you get laid, buddy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 276

You deserved it 250

Today, my daughter got her first house. As soon as she had the keys, she turned on me, ranting at everything she thinks I’ve done to wrong her, and how she never wants to see me again. I don’t understand, I paid for all her furniture, and we still go on mother/daughter trips. Where did I go wrong? FML

I agree, your life sucks 930

You deserved it 267

Today, my daughter forgot my birthday. When I asked her, she said she'd remembered my birthday, but was too busy at work to acknowledge it. However, she did have time to post a message on Facebook, wishing a happy birthday to her cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 947

You deserved it 127

Today, my girlfriend told me she didn't want to get it on with me because she didn't want to "ruin my innocence." FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 620

You deserved it 3 985

Same thing different taste

Stop! Thief!

Drenched

This is how I roll

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