Love: Today, the creepy guy I turned down for a date almost six years...

By fuck you right back, cockspit - 14/02/2014 21:23 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, the creepy guy I turned down for a date almost six years ago, sent me a box of rotting flowers with a note calling me a cunt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 670

You deserved it 8 323

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Same thing different taste

By he fucking smells like death! - 18/12/2018 13:00 - United States - Hesperia

Today, I was told what a bitch I am for turning down “the nice guy” after he surprised me with flowers and a hand painted portrait. He conveniently left out the part where he texted me multiple creepy porn links, doesn’t brush his teeth and has the personal hygiene of a farm animal! FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 129

You deserved it 409

By Anonymous - 01/09/2018 03:30

Today, at work, I received flowers from a Tinder fling gone wrong. He constantly flipped out on me and then would apologize. I finally got tired of it and blocked him on all social media. The scary part is that I never told him where I work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 951

You deserved it 247

By Anonymous - 02/07/2015 02:04 - United States - Lees Summit

Today, I sent the girl I like flowers, only to have her later post a picture of them online, saying, "Ha! When losers send you flowers." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 779

You deserved it 2 605

By mylifeisahell - 18/02/2010 15:01 - Norway

Today, I found garbage in my postbox. In amongst the garbage, I found a note saying ''This is all you ever will get. Stay away from me!'', from the girl I sent a love poem to the other day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 344

You deserved it 7 232

By Az - 13/06/2012 00:24 - United States - Dallas

Today, I woke up to a guy outside my house, who wanted to give me flowers and take me out on a date. Aside from it all being pretty fucking creepy anyway, the guy is my not quite right in the head second cousin, who's apparently now head-over-heels in love with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 926

You deserved it 2 383

Creeped out of here

By Anonymous - 28/11/2015 05:25 - United States

Today, I went on my first date in six years. The guy was unbelievably creepy, and I couldn't wait for it to be over. Right after we finished eating, he told me he loved me, then tried to lean in for a kiss. He looked like he was going to cry when I turned him down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 008

You deserved it 1 972

By joolsie - 15/05/2013 23:45 - United Kingdom

Today, I received a note from my creepy ex, whom I broke up with two years ago, saying how much he still misses me. I live over 100 miles away from him now. The note was hand-delivered to my new address. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 828

You deserved it 3 589

The one that got away

By Anonymous - 25/09/2019 18:00 - United States

Today, the only person who remembered my birthday was my stalker ex. He left condoms, birth control, furry handcuffs, and a lingerie set in my mailbox, with a note saying to prepare for our anniversary. We went out for a week. In sixth grade. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 159

You deserved it 161

By RosesAreRed - 14/02/2010 18:52 - United States

Today, I received a bouquet of flowers. I thought they might be from my crush, so I excitedly opened the card. It was from my druggie ex-boyfriend, who apparently can't move on with his life even after three years. The contents of the card? "Baby, I got you like a habit, and I can't give you up". FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 601

You deserved it 3 642

Empathy

By KidCudi227 - 23/10/2019 06:00 - United States

Today, my boyfriend sent me a bouquet of roses with a message attached. The message said, "Ever since your dog died you've stopped putting out, so I think we should break up." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 944

You deserved it 285

AustinDenton 22

Saturday 15 February 2014 1:14

Ahh. The signs of true love.

Nightwing98 22

Saturday 15 February 2014 1:14

He remembered you six years later....it's the thought that counts?

Comments

xblaine 17

Saturday 15 February 2014 1:24

Send him a therapists business card.

warsun 27

Saturday 15 February 2014 12:49

It's not like he's going to use it.....

Bcfrmkc816 17

Sunday 16 February 2014 4:39

Best advice on here.

ber4fun13 10

Saturday 15 February 2014 1:32

At least someone was thinking about you today.

rockhead1270 5

Saturday 15 February 2014 1:34

Wow. This **** be a good sign

syed121417 22

Sunday 16 February 2014 0:26

I hope you're happy

gracehi 31

Saturday 15 February 2014 1:36

Boy, that guy sure can hold a grudge.

oooohmygosh 8

Saturday 15 February 2014 1:38

Maybe you should move. Lol sorry op that sucks!

fierystage 8

Saturday 15 February 2014 1:48

Are you Susie Derkins?

Hiimhaileypotter 52

Saturday 15 February 2014 3:43

Why would you plaster a name all over FML? lol...

fierystage 8

Saturday 15 February 2014 19:53

Um, I was making a reference to Calvin and Hobbes.

upallnight11 19

Saturday 15 February 2014 1:49

He really needs to get over it.

SouthernLady12 13

Saturday 15 February 2014 1:49

Return to sender

it__happens 17

Saturday 15 February 2014 1:51

You would think he would be over it...

skittyskatbrat 19

Saturday 15 February 2014 1:58

Wow...bet you are now REALLY GLAD you turned him down!!!!

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I returned home to my parents' house, drunk. Hungry, I grabbed a slice of bread and some butter and took two mouthfuls. Five hours later, my mother woke me up and dragged me to the kitchen. In the middle of the table was a buttered, half-eaten sponge. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 636

You deserved it 42 713

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try the ice cubes in the vagina thing we'd read about. He kept sticking one in after another and they got stuck. My vagina had a brain freeze for a half an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 785

You deserved it 3 951

The Top

Today, my delusional parents are harassing me to donate my house to my little sister, because she's now a single mother at 17, and needs a house for the baby, but sure, I should reward her by giving her my stuff that I worked hard for, just because she can’t keep her knees together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 823

You deserved it 109

Today, my cat followed me into the bathroom. While I was showering, he knocked over the storage shelf behind the toilet. The shelf was the perfect length to wedge the shower door completely closed. No one was home so I had to climb over my tall shower door all slippery and naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 158

You deserved it 720

Today, I found out my boyfriend has been cheating on me. In tears, I called my best friend and told him everything. He responded with one or two-word answers throughout, but I felt better all the same. That is, until I heard him begin to take a loud piss half-way through my sentence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 839

You deserved it 6 482

Today, I cut my nice and tasty home-made sandwich in half to give to a homeless man. He tasted it, pulled an unimpressed face, and then stuck it in his pocket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 498

You deserved it 3 152

Today, I went on a first date, where my date managed to fall in a creek, take me to his house and measure my height, show me family pictures, and perform the Soulja Boy dance in his living room. All while wearing swim trunks because his pants were drying and he didn't have extras. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 147

You deserved it 7 767

Today, my friend told me she turned down a job as a babysitter because she didn't want to be secretly videotaped, as she knew the people had a nanny cam. I wasn't aware of this when I took that same job a few nights ago and asked my boyfriend to come by. We had sex on their couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 376

You deserved it 101 618

Same thing different taste

Creeped out of here

The one that got away

Empathy

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