Love: Today, the girl I've been seeing for just over a week casually... - FML

By great - 28/02/2015 16:23 - United States - Porter

Today, the girl I've been seeing for just over a week casually let me know that she'll slash her wrists if I ever leave her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 110

You deserved it 3 372

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Same thing different taste

By mike - 07/02/2010 07:16 - United States

Today, I found out that my girlfriend of one week is suicidal and crazy about me. She showed me that she'd carved her old boyfriend's name in her arm, and she threatened suicide if I ever left her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 533

You deserved it 4 120

By BoredRunner42 - 07/09/2009 06:33 - United States

Today, I had a great time with a girl I liked. I asked her out and she said yes. She also said she cuts herself and if I ever broke up with her, I'll be responsible for her death. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72 637

You deserved it 6 575

By Anonymous - 04/04/2015 10:16 - India

Today, the girl I've been seeing for less than a week started raging and ended up threatening me with a knife, after I shot down her idea of getting married next month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 340

You deserved it 3 455

By Anonymous - 01/08/2013 07:36 - United States - Goodyear

Today, my girlfriend of 3 weeks gave me an ultimatum: marry her, or she kills herself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 434

You deserved it 6 395

By Anonymous - 29/08/2015 11:28 - United States - Manhattan Beach

Today, I caught my girlfriend cheating on me. Now she's threatening to kill herself if I don't forgive her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 987

You deserved it 2 119

By well i'm fucked - 03/02/2014 22:47 - United States - Aberdeen

Today, my girlfriend of three weeks basically threatened to kill herself if I don't start thinking about having a child with her soon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 183

You deserved it 6 854

Awks

By hungryman - 14/07/2009 21:10 - Canada

Today, my girlfriend's mom pulled me aside and started telling me about how her daughter was extremely depressed and suicidal before she met me, and how happy her family is because of me. I was planning on breaking up with her within the next week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 660

You deserved it 9 109

By cheezmaster - 16/12/2009 23:55 - United States

Today, after many, many attempts to get her out of my life, the girl that is stalking me told me that she loves me and our love can only be ended by her killing either herself or me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 839

You deserved it 2 578

By Anonymous - 24/09/2009 04:52 - United States

Today, I was planning on breaking up with my girlfriend of five years in two days time. She just mailed me a care package that said, "I'd die without you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 800

You deserved it 13 648

By thanksbabe - 12/01/2013 06:32 - United States

Today, after a week of intense fighting, my girlfriend of 4 years and I hung out. She told me she loved me, and I pointed out that last week she said she was going to dump me. Without missing a beat, she replied, "Only to scare you into submission." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 103

You deserved it 8 575

Next

Top comments

kangx1 28

Sunday 1 March 2015 5:55

Just casually lure her to an asylum

mikepzz 27

Sunday 1 March 2015 5:53

You should hop on the nope train and run as fast and as far away as possible.

Comments

jesterinperil 28

Sunday 1 March 2015 10:15

Run far and run fast

pinque 19

Sunday 1 March 2015 10:22

What a psycho ?)

Tutetheblack 20

Sunday 1 March 2015 10:26

If it was a joke then I guess it's okay. If she wasn't fcuking with you, you been warned she's going to cut you too some day.

bhfriday 9

Sunday 1 March 2015 11:25

That's scary

barneyisawesome_fml 9

Sunday 1 March 2015 11:33

Cuz nothing says casual dating like suicide threats.

JEVCLQ 17

Sunday 1 March 2015 11:48

God damn. Run and let some mental clinic or a suicide foundation know.

Sheepalicious 20

Sunday 1 March 2015 12:55

This is when you report it and have her carted off to the looney bin.

neon_cupcake 5

Sunday 1 March 2015 12:56

get out now before it upgrades to she will kill herself :(

laden_swallow09 34

Sunday 1 March 2015 13:39

I'm with 51 on this; call her out on her bluff. I had the same problem a few years ago, but I know that not everyone's the same. If she isn't bluffing, that's totally on her and not your problem. Either way, she does need professional help. You need a woman, a grown-up, not a project.

WitEluded 13

Sunday 1 March 2015 14:03

Tell her you got a new phone from work and have a new number. Then give her the number of one of those AI text bots that will have a conversation with her. Problem solved Then block her number for real and if she ever finds you in person pretend, to only speak Portuguese.

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Keywords

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The Top

Today, my sister was concerned that her daughter (my niece) was sick, and hesitant to take her to the ER. I asked if she'd eaten something she shouldn't have, and she replied, "No, especially since we feed her the most healthy food we can." This was fine until I flipped out when she said, "We even give her raw milk so that she'll be strong." FML

I agree, your life sucks 429

You deserved it 120

Today, I was bored, so I started to declutter my closet. I found a pair of jeans I hadn't worn in years and thought they'd fit. As I struggled to pull them on, the seam ripped really loud, and my cat shot out from under the bed like a spooked rocket. Apparently even my jeans feel the need to yell at me for getting too big. FML

I agree, your life sucks 466

You deserved it 300

The Top

Today, my new boyfriend asked to know the penis size of every other guy I’ve been with. There are a lot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 194

You deserved it 906

Today, I took an Uber from work to my friend's home. My water bottle, which was in my backpack in the back seat, leaked and left a little water on his fabric seat. I got an $80 "professional cleaning" bill from Uber. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 662

You deserved it 752

Today, I decided to modify my resume since I've handed out over 30 of them in the past couple of weeks and I haven't gotten any calls back. As soon as I opened it on word document, I noticed that I had forgotten to include my phone number for employers to contact me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 431

You deserved it 74 102

Today, I made a mistake at work that got seven people fired. I'm scared to leave the office because they're all outside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 520

You deserved it 70 052

Today, after telling my boyfriend of 8 years on Monday that I'm unhappy and don’t want to be in a relationship anymore, he said to me just now, "So, I’m thinking of proposing to you in December." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 069

You deserved it 218

Today, I went to a Father's Day lunch with my dad and his fiancée. He suddenly began to describe, in detail, the vasectomy he'd just had, and that I shouldn't be expecting any new siblings any time soon. Thanks for the mental image, Dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 987

You deserved it 3 897