Love: Today, the girl I've been seeing for just over a week casually... - FML

By great - 28/02/2015 16:23 - United States - Porter

Today, the girl I've been seeing for just over a week casually let me know that she'll slash her wrists if I ever leave her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 110

You deserved it 3 372

When Christmas Ends Badly…
Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

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Same thing different taste

By mike - 07/02/2010 07:16 - United States

Today, I found out that my girlfriend of one week is suicidal and crazy about me. She showed me that she'd carved her old boyfriend's name in her arm, and she threatened suicide if I ever left her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 533

You deserved it 4 120

By BoredRunner42 - 07/09/2009 06:33 - United States

Today, I had a great time with a girl I liked. I asked her out and she said yes. She also said she cuts herself and if I ever broke up with her, I'll be responsible for her death. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72 637

You deserved it 6 575

By Anonymous - 04/04/2015 10:16 - India

Today, the girl I've been seeing for less than a week started raging and ended up threatening me with a knife, after I shot down her idea of getting married next month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 340

You deserved it 3 455

By Anonymous - 01/08/2013 07:36 - United States - Goodyear

Today, my girlfriend of 3 weeks gave me an ultimatum: marry her, or she kills herself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 434

You deserved it 6 395

By Anonymous - 29/08/2015 11:28 - United States - Manhattan Beach

Today, I caught my girlfriend cheating on me. Now she's threatening to kill herself if I don't forgive her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 987

You deserved it 2 119

By well i'm fucked - 03/02/2014 22:47 - United States - Aberdeen

Today, my girlfriend of three weeks basically threatened to kill herself if I don't start thinking about having a child with her soon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 183

You deserved it 6 854

Awks

By hungryman - 14/07/2009 21:10 - Canada

Today, my girlfriend's mom pulled me aside and started telling me about how her daughter was extremely depressed and suicidal before she met me, and how happy her family is because of me. I was planning on breaking up with her within the next week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 660

You deserved it 9 109

By cheezmaster - 16/12/2009 23:55 - United States

Today, after many, many attempts to get her out of my life, the girl that is stalking me told me that she loves me and our love can only be ended by her killing either herself or me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 839

You deserved it 2 578

By Anonymous - 24/09/2009 04:52 - United States

Today, I was planning on breaking up with my girlfriend of five years in two days time. She just mailed me a care package that said, "I'd die without you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 800

You deserved it 13 648

By thanksbabe - 12/01/2013 06:32 - United States

Today, after a week of intense fighting, my girlfriend of 4 years and I hung out. She told me she loved me, and I pointed out that last week she said she was going to dump me. Without missing a beat, she replied, "Only to scare you into submission." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 103

You deserved it 8 575

Next

Top comments

kangx1 28

Sunday 1 March 2015 5:55

Just casually lure her to an asylum

mikepzz 27

Sunday 1 March 2015 5:53

You should hop on the nope train and run as fast and as far away as possible.

Comments

SookyLala 13

Sunday 1 March 2015 22:33

Tell her shes a dopey attention seeker, and leave her. call an ambulance after

SasquatchDeluxe 10

Sunday 1 March 2015 22:35

Looks like you're trapped. I hope at least the sex is good.

laughingtoohard 14

Sunday 1 March 2015 22:38

Make plans to move out of town on the NOPE express

rocketgurl 15

Sunday 1 March 2015 22:59

Run OP, run.

Kramer1998 20

Sunday 1 March 2015 23:51

Take her to a therapist, if this doesn't work then fake your death, learn French, hope over the border to Quebec City, and live your life on as Jean Garçon.

victorvldv 8

Monday 2 March 2015 0:40

Someone call Hitchcock

EmoKami 21

Monday 2 March 2015 1:48

Time to cut to the chase and admit this poor girl...you can't just live on a razors edge, it's emotional suicide!

metalbass 6

Monday 2 March 2015 1:55

Dude, forget her and run. NOW!

Starham1 14

Monday 2 March 2015 2:22

Well, if my girlfriend ever says this, I would dump her just to see if she really meant it.

Dkman 11

Monday 2 March 2015 6:20

In the words of a Tom hank classic. "RUN FOREST, RUN

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The Top

Today, I let my 4-month old puppy sleep with me. She’s been constipated for a while. I woke up to a foul odor in the middle of the night. Turns out she took a massive dump on the bed right by my head. I had to completely strip my bed to go back to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 788

You deserved it 473

Today, my roommate wanted me to try out a new bus route home, I knew it might take longer but she really wanted me to try, so I went with her. After waiting for ages at The Exchange bus stop for the last bus home, we missed it, and had to take an Uber. FML

I agree, your life sucks 563

You deserved it 174

The Top

Today, I went to Walmart with all my birthday money, which I had in a wallet with my permit and everything else. I was sat on a bench looking for items for my iPod Touch However… I left my wallet behind. Turns out an old couple stole it. I got my shit jacked by grandparents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 406

You deserved it 2 507

Today, I was rejected for a job I really wanted, they said I didn't have enough experience. I designed the systems they are implementing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 803

You deserved it 2 074

Today, the girl I like was panicking because her car broke down, so I offered her a lift to wherever she needed to be. I drove her to her boyfriend's house. She asked me to drive her home in the morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 280

You deserved it 7 399

Today, I got kneed in the stomach by a sixth grader. I couldn't breathe. I have a black belt in Taekwondo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 300

You deserved it 15 643

Today, I learned never to try a jump-scare prank on my boyfriend. Apparently, his instinct when suddenly scared isn’t to jump or scream like a baby, it’s to throw a blind punch. Luckily, he missed but he broke my glasses by knocking them off my nose and now he won’t stop apologising. FML

I agree, your life sucks 295

You deserved it 1 813

Today, I figured I'd throw my ex-boyfriend a compliment and told him how "gifted" he was below the belt. He thinks he's paying me a compliment when he tells me how much he loves that little roll of skin that pops up over the top of my pants when I sit down. I'm trying to lose weight, asshole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 993

You deserved it 8 357