Intimacy: Today, the love of my life sent me a text saying "touch my pork"....

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By burgeee - 18/03/2010 10:24 - United Kingdom

Today, the love of my life sent me a text saying "touch my pork". Somehow I don't think my feelings are mutual. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 518

You deserved it 4 282

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Same thing different taste

By ch4nny - 29/08/2014 01:47 - Australia - Sydney

Today, my boyfriend was stroking my stomach and looking into my eyes. It was very romantic, until he grabbed my love handles and said, "Mmmm... bacon..." FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 262

You deserved it 5 692

By Kaji - 14/11/2008 11:20 - France

Today, I sent a text message to my girlfriend telling her how much I wanted to make love to her tonight. I've just realized I sent it to her brother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 549

You deserved it 24 123

And they say romance is dead…

By BaconBreathBlonde - 30/10/2009 00:33 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were making out, holding hands, and he was playing with a strand of my hair. I thought the whole thing was very romantic. He then said he loved how my mouth tasted like bacon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 047

You deserved it 7 736

By screwed.over - 10/10/2009 23:21 - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend texted me telling me how much he loved me, and that he wanted my virginity. We have already done it. I don't think he meant to send that text to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 247

You deserved it 2 799

By anonymous - 01/10/2013 05:36 - United States - Huntington

Today, I sent my girlfriend a text this morning saying I love you. I rarely do this and instead of receiving the same message back, I got a message from my girlfriend accusing me of meaning to send it to someone else and dumped me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 914

You deserved it 7 055

By for my brother in law - 27/07/2016 07:10 - United States - Oxnard

Today, I sent a love message to my wife asking if she was horny. Minutes later, I realized that I sent it to my mother in law. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 870

You deserved it 6 775

Crossed wires

By Anonymous - 23/05/2024 14:00 - United States

Today, I sent a romantic, flirty text to my boyfriend. A few minutes later, I got a reply from… my mom, saying, “I don’t think this was meant for me, but thanks for making my day awkward.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 245

You deserved it 437

By rick - 13/08/2009 21:49 - Sweden

Today, I read an incoming message on my wife's phone. "I miss your warm hands and mouth". The message came from a female co-worker of hers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 771

You deserved it 6 052

By Anonymous - 16/04/2018 19:00

Today, my wife sent me a text expressing her "love and thinking to the future with you, Chad". Too bad my name isn't Chad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 884

You deserved it 266

By Anonymous - 22/10/2011 04:07 - United States

Today, while cooking with my girlfriend, I thought it would be funny to slap her with a raw porkchop. She thought it would be funny to throw the hot cooking grease on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 426

You deserved it 54 858

vacantdreamer 0

Thursday 18 March 2010 16:05

Congrats. Your man admits to being a pig.

CallMeHush 0

Thursday 18 March 2010 16:09

OK , so to test that out I just sent the same text to my wife. Her reply; WTF?

Comments

vacantdreamer 0

Thursday 18 March 2010 17:07

Inform him that since receiving his text, his penis now reminds you of Babe, and since *********** is illegal.....

Monikabug 9

Thursday 18 March 2010 17:35

Again, what men think is sexy and what a woman thinks is sexy is so different.

wrestlerbeast 0

Thursday 18 March 2010 17:41

agreed. but why is that?

vacantdreamer 0

Thursday 18 March 2010 17:48

I'm not so sure this is a case of what's sexy and what isn't. I think this is more a case of maturity, something this guy is seriously lacking.

alicia_was_here 3

Thursday 18 March 2010 17:59

TOUCH MY PORK!

wrestlerbeast 0

Thursday 18 March 2010 18:03

ok;) hard or soft haha I can grill it and even add some whipped cream;)

alicia_was_here 3

Thursday 18 March 2010 18:06

whipped cream and pork? yum.

wrestlerbeast 0

Thursday 18 March 2010 18:17

I know u should try it some time

hmmmummhmmm 0

Thursday 18 March 2010 18:28

ha ha! that is so nasty! my husband calls it that too...his own special, whipped cream

hmmmummhmmm 0

Thursday 18 March 2010 18:31

and only I hold that 1 secret ingredient needed to "produce" it.

wrestlerbeast 0

Thursday 18 March 2010 18:37

*awkward silence* ummm it's gonna be funny when ur kids say mommy can I have some whipped cream with this pork then you'll be like flashback!!!

alicia_was_here 3

Thursday 18 March 2010 20:58

i like apple sauce with my pork.

wrestlerbeast 0

Friday 19 March 2010 0:36

that's hot;)

wrestlerbeast 0

Friday 19 March 2010 0:47

send me a message alicia

alicia_was_here 3

Saturday 20 March 2010 3:07

lol i dont work that way. im old fashioned. and i have a boyfriend(: he likes pork and applesauce too ;)

cooldannyboy 0

Thursday 18 March 2010 18:43

OP, have you ever consider that maybe he was in a silly playful mood?

Claay_aiir 0

Thursday 18 March 2010 19:16

haha wow.. umm tastey? :S

aardvarkish 16

Thursday 18 March 2010 19:17

touch my monkey may have been funnier, for those who remember "Sprockets"

sabatical 0

Thursday 18 March 2010 21:21

that's just not kosher now is it?!

KurouTenshi 0

Thursday 18 March 2010 21:36

got my drunk text on I'll regret it in the mornin' but tonight I don't give a I don't give a I don't give

Monikabug 9

Friday 19 March 2010 0:10

tea-teach me how to jerk. :)

demoon_fml 7

Friday 19 March 2010 1:12

I will. But what is in it for me? lol

Monikabug 9

Friday 19 March 2010 5:48

I will pay you with gum. But not Trident Layers.. Bubblicious. Do we have a deal? :)

PsychoShark 0

Thursday 18 March 2010 22:05

YDI for not touching it in the first place.

ClouDn9n 0

Thursday 18 March 2010 22:35

hahahahaha

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Same thing different taste

And they say romance is dead…

Crossed wires

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