Transportation: Today, the subway was extremely crowded and I ended up with my...

By grossgross - 26/09/2009 18:21 - United States

Today, the subway was extremely crowded and I ended up with my butt in a man's crotch. I kept trying to inch away or turn a different way, but there was no room. He could have turned to face the doors, but didn't. He got an erection. I was on there with him for 20 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 608

You deserved it 5 544

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By needanewride - 16/11/2012 02:40 - United States - Newton Center

Today, I took a crowded train home. I was holding on to the rail when an old man started rubbing his crotch across my hand. I moved my hand but he moved too and kept doing it. When I moved my hand higher, he started licking it. I had to wait ten minutes for the next stop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 299

You deserved it 3 316

By scarlet - 09/05/2011 15:02 - Canada

Today, on the bus, a large smelly man was sat next to me, pushing me against the divider and sliding into me on every turn. When he got up for his stop, his pants had loosened and his bare ass was staring me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 897

You deserved it 3 412

By Anon - 13/03/2009 04:00 - United States

Today, I was on the subway. I have fairly serious OCD, so I avoided holding the poles or handles. All the seats were taken, so I leaned against a wall. At the next stop, an obese, sweaty man got on and grabbed the two poles around me, effectively hugging me. My shirt was wet when he left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 79 520

You deserved it 6 008

By Groped - 02/04/2011 00:45 - United States

Today, I gave up my seat on the subway for an elderly man. He thanked me by grabbing my ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 794

You deserved it 5 270

Perv!

By Thithien1 - 01/04/2009 06:07 - Korea Republic of

Today, I was on a crowded subway going home. My trousers were a bit dusty so I tried to dust myself off. As I was slapping the side of my leg I missed and hit a woman behind me in the ass. She called me a pervert and walked off. Everyone stared at me. It takes 40 minutes to get home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 909

You deserved it 12 672

Three's a crowd

By Anonymous - 13/08/2014 11:33 - Australia - Rooty Hill

Today, I succeeded in getting a seat on a crowded bus. I regretted this when, after a couple of stops, a big guy boarded the bus and stood next to me with his penis pressed against my shoulder. Longest. Bus ride. Ever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 680

You deserved it 4 020

By bridezilla - 05/07/2009 04:12 - Canada

Today, I was on a train when an old man standing next to me very obviously checked me out, caught my eye, and winked. He spent the next five minutes rubbing his penis against my leg. When I turned to tell him off, the train lurched, and the old man fell face first into my breasts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 497

You deserved it 6 861

By WhatsThatSmell - 25/02/2011 13:25 - Australia

Today, I took a busy train into the city. I was lucky enough to get a seat. People were forced to stand in the aisle in front of me, and the person directly opposite me, whose butt was level with my head farted in my face. Twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 839

You deserved it 4 518

By fmylifebad - 29/04/2009 10:12 - United States

Today, I was on the subway and saw this cute guy eyeing me. I crossed my legs, tossed back my hair, and raised my eyebrows slightly. As he came up to me, my heart started racing until he finally started flirting... with the girl next to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 144

You deserved it 12 191

By M.L. - 06/09/2009 21:09 - United States

Today, I went on a busy train. I packed myself in close to a very good looking woman and, too scared to say anything, looked out the window. After feeling a hand on my ass, I assumed it was her. To not ruin the moment, I didn't look back. After a few stops, I looked back. It was an old man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 471

You deserved it 12 789

bekahshae 0

Saturday 26 September 2009 23:11

After you got off, you should have said, "Now that'll be twenty dollars."

lucaso86 0

Saturday 26 September 2009 23:04

YAY for creepy boners

Comments

gummibehrs 4

Monday 28 September 2009 7:38

Are you ******* obsessed with Intoxicunt? Creepy stalker.

ZDrache 0

Monday 28 September 2009 12:58

My first reaction was that this guy's a disgusting prick. Then I thought it was probably an accident, like for some reason a lot of guys "Can't help it." But you're supposed to have techniques, like learning to think about dog shit or something to make your woody go away. Plus, he could have turned around. In situations like this you're supposed to say loudly "Could the man behind me kindly stop poking his crotch into my behind." You could always replace it with "Take his hand off my behind" if you feel worried about throwing loud accusations around.

Unsaturatedfatty 0

Monday 28 September 2009 17:51

YDI for not asking the guy loudly to turn around because he has a boner in your ass. I hate that people are afraid of being embarassed by something that someone else is doing to them. You should have embarrased him into moving.

SasounChan 3

Monday 28 September 2009 23:21

YDI. Seriously, he knows he's got a boner, and he was being a pig. Tell that SOB to gtf off you!

elizanena9 0

Tuesday 29 September 2009 3:17

should've just yelled, "RAPE!". then he'd be the one writing the fml.

WorkThatButt 2

Tuesday 29 September 2009 11:43

Work That Ass

Hockeymaniac 0

Tuesday 29 September 2009 21:44

best fml ever

Greyst0ne 0

Wednesday 30 September 2009 5:09

get your sexy on

javiers_3rd 0

Wednesday 30 September 2009 5:50

I am a medical student and there is actually a name for people who enjoy rubbing up against others in crowded places because it's arousing for them. It's a psychatric disorder called "frotteurism". Check it out: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Frotteurism ....I'd feel violated too if I were you.