Kids: Today, trying to be a responsible parent, I bought my daughter...

By Anonymous - 13/02/2014 15:47 - United States - Kennett

Today, trying to be a responsible parent, I bought my daughter a pack of condoms in case she ever decided to have sex. She turned them into balloon animals and went back to playing video games. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 516

You deserved it 53 109

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Same thing different taste

One day…

By Animal - 24/02/2011 19:14 - Canada

Today, my mom was snooping around my room, and found the unopened box of glow in the dark condoms I bought myself year ago. She laughed and said, "No takers yet, eh?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 287

You deserved it 17 106

By Person - 07/06/2009 18:07 - United States

Today, my mother found condoms in my room. She asked why and I said, "Just in case." She started laughing hysterically. FML

I agree, your life sucks 82 639

You deserved it 9 942

Gone girl

By OwndPattie - 20/11/2022 02:00

Today, after I grounded my barely 18 year-old daughter for having sex with her boyfriend when I found a pack of condoms in her room while cleaning it, she responded by moving out and eloping with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 322

You deserved it 3 066

By dry spell - 02/07/2013 16:17 - United States - Belfair

Today, my mom stole the condoms out of my room and gave them to my little brother because I "won't be needing them anytime soon". FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 249

You deserved it 4 797

By Anonymous - 25/01/2013 05:39 - Canada - Ottawa

Today, at my 6-year-old son's birthday party, I had to explain to my boyfriend that it's not okay to use condoms as party balloons. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 899

You deserved it 6 338

By swtkiss1 - 18/02/2009 22:26 - United States

Today, my mom cleaned up my room. I had a drawer filled with condoms, 2 vibrators, and a bondage kit. She organized the condoms and vibrators in a shoe box. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 917

You deserved it 58 638

By frustrated - 17/08/2013 22:56 - Ireland - Killarney

Today, after a long and stressful day, I started fooling around with my boyfriend. When we finally got to the main event, I found out that we couldn't, because he'd used all his condoms to make water balloons. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 146

You deserved it 7 411

Very posh

By Anonymous - 24/01/2024 14:00 - United States - Staten Island

Today, my parents found my box of condoms. I'm 20, so it's no big deal, and they commended my responsibility. What they don't know is I don't talk to any girls, and I bought those condoms to jerk off into. FML

I agree, your life sucks 178

You deserved it 381

By dpl - 19/02/2009 21:44 - United States

Today, my mom found a condom in my pocket while doing my laundry. Instead of having the subsequent discussion about the birds and the bees my mother simply asked "Who would have sex with you?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 579

You deserved it 5 635

By condiments - 22/02/2010 21:13 - United States

Today, I went shopping with my mother, when someone snuck a pack of condoms into our cart while our backs were turned. When we got to the register, my mom, whose wealth makes me ineligible for financial aid, noticed the condoms and she announced that she wasn't paying for the college I got accepted to next year because she doesn't want a promiscuous daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 147

You deserved it 3 061

parism143 28

Thursday 13 February 2014 22:54

Guess you''ve got nothing to worry about! :) Your daughter sounds awesome.

stretchedthin 20

Thursday 13 February 2014 22:54

um why didn't you talk to her instead?

Comments

Xotoolyxo 16

Friday 14 February 2014 22:40

Maybe you should talk to her about if she is even thinking about being sexually active or has first

mosquito19 14

Friday 14 February 2014 23:19

maybe she's higher goals other than getting laid.

Braveltoaster 6

Friday 14 February 2014 23:49

Your daughter sounds really cool. I would love to have sex with her.

1_2_chickadoo 3

Saturday 15 February 2014 0:13

Um so you want your daughter to have sex because you seem to be living every parents dream.

inumiko 12

Saturday 15 February 2014 0:50

how old is she anyway?

kittybaby01 10

Saturday 15 February 2014 2:08

Thats not an fml. You should be proud.

parism143 28

Saturday 15 February 2014 17:45

#279, I'm actually so taken back. It's not even a special comment :p

BibliophileG 10

Saturday 15 February 2014 2:15

You did good with that kiddo! Thumbs way up!

octopussperm125 18

Saturday 15 February 2014 2:19

Wait, so that's not what they're for? I've been doing this all wrong.

Bowmana 14

Saturday 15 February 2014 3:02

I don't think she's planning on having sex yet...

little_one1 14

Saturday 15 February 2014 3:03

You should be proud!!!

Keywords

Miscellaneous Embarrassing Awkward Sleep Work Love Dating Am I overreacting? Annoying Parents Health Mental health Furniture Kids Friends Gross Public freakouts Fight Neighbours Cops Drugs Relatable Medication Dogs Animals Teenagers Ironic Video games Gamers Zoom

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Today, I tried to talk to my teenage son about healthy masculinity. He said, "Yeah Mom, I know. Lift weights and eat red meat and fish. Can I go?" Not what I meant at all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 241

You deserved it 358

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I agree, your life sucks 41 666

You deserved it 3 982

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I agree, your life sucks 32 717

You deserved it 6 836

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I agree, your life sucks 10 327

You deserved it 1 601

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I agree, your life sucks 42 086

You deserved it 2 594

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I agree, your life sucks 459

You deserved it 156

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I agree, your life sucks 850

You deserved it 158

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I agree, your life sucks 216

You deserved it 801

Same thing different taste

One day…

Gone girl

Very posh

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