By WWJD - 01/03/2017 12:00 - United States

Spicy
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend and I lustfully requested we try doggy style this time. He responded, "No, Jesus wouldn't like that." FML
I agree, your life sucks 10 328
You deserved it 1 601
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Top comments

alternative-facts 6

If he really wants to go that way, Jesus wouldn't appreciate you guys having sex at all, unless you were expressly trying to procreate. If your boyfriend is ok "wasting his seed" and fornicating for pleasure, he shouldn't be so hypocritical as to refuse to do it doggy style. Right?

131 2
Nabexis 9

Tell him that if Jesus really Cared what position people had sex in, there wouldn't be over 7 billion people on the planet.

92 3

Comments

Nabexis 9

Tell him that if Jesus really Cared what position people had sex in, there wouldn't be over 7 billion people on the planet.

92 3
alternative-facts 6

If he really wants to go that way, Jesus wouldn't appreciate you guys having sex at all, unless you were expressly trying to procreate. If your boyfriend is ok "wasting his seed" and fornicating for pleasure, he shouldn't be so hypocritical as to refuse to do it doggy style. Right?

131 2
ballerinaaub 17

And! If he's her boyfriend then they shouldn't be having sex unless they're husband and wife because sex before marriage is a sin dontcha know?! *sarcasm*

7 2
RichardPencil 30

It's called the missionary position for a reason. And I'm guessing anal is out of the question.

17 11
Cynical_1 26

Ok, so either your boyfriend has named his penis Jesus, or he is just really weird. Actually, he's pretty weird either way. Sorry OP.

36 0
species4872 19

Apparently your boyfriend doesn't want to lead you astray.

9 1
sherbear23 13

If he really thinks that Jesus wouldn't like that, he probably shouldn't be having sex outside of marriage. I think sex positions should be the least of his worries in this case if he is so adamant about pleasing Jesus.

29 0
blupenguin29 14

That represents religion pretty well. Not that Jesus wouldn't like doggy, but how people take religion out of context to benefit them.

23 4
Nysha 17

And you said, "Lucky I'm not having sex with Jesus, then"

22 0
MiltoxB 1

*Morgan Freeman Starts Speaking in the Background* And that was the last time she ever saw that jesus loving fool. What is wrong with you boy? A woman tells her to flip her over, you flip her over like a god-damned pancake that's about to burn. Back in my day... *Morgan Freeman keeps talking to himself as he starts to leave their closet and head back home*

29 0
Donnasbroeikas 11

Sounds More like Samuel L. Jackson to me

2 0
ObscureReference 1

Plot twist: Jesús is his boyfriend.

13 0