Intimacy: Today, was my boyfriends last night visiting my family. My dog...

By ash - 04/01/2011 21:09 - United States

Today, was my boyfriends last night visiting my family. My dog decided to go through the trash, then ran up to my dad with one of our used condoms caught on her teeth. My parents didn't even know we were sleeping in the same room. They know a lot more now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 907

You deserved it 14 852

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Same thing different taste

By fetch boy.. - 05/08/2013 05:28 - United States - Bellmore

Today, my boyfriend's parents found out we had a sleepover while they were on vacation. His dog had retrieved the underwear I had unknowingly left and brought them to his mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 525

You deserved it 18 325

By PCJJacket - 05/05/2014 17:30 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I had sex with my girlfriend while my parents were out. After they got home, my dog brought out our used condom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 218

You deserved it 26 156

By Tucker - 18/11/2009 21:35 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were sitting downstairs with my mom. We heard the dog running around upstairs and called it down. It came running down the stairs. With a used condom in its mouth. The same condom my girlfriend and I lost two weeks ago. It put it directly in my mom's hands. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 465

You deserved it 8 797

Gettin' some

By Username - 01/05/2011 08:20 - United States

Today, I grabbed my t-shirt off the floor beside the bed and got up to walk my boyfriend's dog. After several trips around the block, and plenty of strange looks, I got back upstairs and saw the used condom stuck to my sleeve from the night before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 507

You deserved it 46 409

Pet detective

By badluckdrew - 01/05/2009 14:28 - United States

Today, my girlfriend's mother called her in the bedroom for a serious talk. I overheard them arguing and yelling at each other. It turns out her mother found a condom next to her garbage. We got caught because her cat swallowed the condom and threw it up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 609

You deserved it 20 661

By OMGraven - 19/02/2010 08:24 - United States

Today, I returned home to find that my boyfriend's dog had gotten into the garbage and ripped all my used pads to shreds. There's a trail of Always tatters leading to his dog bed, and blood everywhere. My blood. Oh God. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 668

You deserved it 3 604

By meeranda - 01/01/2010 05:07 - France

Today, my dad came home from work early only to walk in on me and the boy I'm not supposed to be seeing having sex. Did I mention doggie style? FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 401

You deserved it 32 905

Sweep it under the rug

By Anonymous - 12/08/2024 00:00 - Australia

Today, my girlfriend told me she was coming over for a surprise visit. I quickly tidied up, but not before shoving all my dirty laundry under the bed. When she arrived, she brought her dog in. Her dog immediately sniffed out the laundry and dragged my most embarrassing underwear into the living room while her parents watched. FML

I agree, your life sucks 177

You deserved it 489

By Puppy Loverr - 25/08/2011 07:12 - Australia

Today, I was getting a bit intimate with my boyfriend. Just when things were getting interesting, my dog managed to get into my room. He jumped on the bed and my boyfriend spent the next 20 minutes playing with the dog, while I sat next to him, half naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 442

You deserved it 4 845

Mortified

By killmenow - 21/02/2011 01:19 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex while his parents were out. They came home early, ran upstairs, and knocked on the door. Scrambling to find our clothes, we gave up and just hid under the blankets. They barged in, drunk and laughing, and tried ripping the covers off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 001

You deserved it 8 945

NBS93 0

Wednesday 5 January 2011 0:25

Good dog.

Bartimaeus 7

Wednesday 5 January 2011 1:05

THAT'S why you throw it away in the outside trash can with the big lockable lid that is secured in that little area next to your garage... at least that's where I'd put it... not that I was there or anything...

Comments

Ninjafriends 1

Wednesday 5 January 2011 0:34

That's why you have to swallow the evidence. YDI for not swallowing.

RedPillSucks 31

Wednesday 5 January 2011 5:20

Swallowing condoms would be nasty. OP should have said they were making balloon animals and used up all the balloons.

Wuhuh 0

Wednesday 5 January 2011 0:41

I guess your dog wanted milk? And whose to say cats are the only ones that like fish?

jazziness 12

Wednesday 5 January 2011 0:54

I don't get it

untoward 0

Wednesday 5 January 2011 5:52

old used condoms smell awful. but how would I know.

Suavis 4

Wednesday 5 January 2011 12:53

burn:)

uhhohh5252 0

Wednesday 5 January 2011 0:49

haha succkss

Miriah34 0

Wednesday 5 January 2011 0:49

why would u swallow a condom?

anonymous_riot 0

Wednesday 5 January 2011 6:04

to get rid of the evidencee...duh

teamdamon 0

Wednesday 5 January 2011 0:54

at least they'll be happy your being safe

Ninjafriends 1

Wednesday 5 January 2011 0:58

It could have been your parent's used condom. Would that be less of an FML?

Bartimaeus 7

Wednesday 5 January 2011 1:05

perdix 29

Wednesday 5 January 2011 1:06

Well, you probably were sleeping in the literal sense in separate rooms, but you were filling up the condoms in the same room. Unless, you have glory holes at your house, and seeing how it's New Jersey, I wouldn't be surprised.