Work: Today, was my first day of work in my life. I was excited, and... - FML

By sheisselluv - 11/05/2014 20:30 - Germany - Gera

Today, was my first day of work in my life. I was excited, and so was my dad, who saw me to the door and ruffled my hair as he wished me luck. I didn't notice until half an hour after arriving at work that he'd stuck his gum in my hair. Nobody bothered to tell me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 357

You deserved it 4 203

End-of-year festivities: New Year's Eve fun and frolics
End the year on a high note with anecdotes where every New Year's Eve firecracker is synonymous with laughter! More…

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Same thing different taste

Surprise!

By BAMashleyx3 - 06/06/2019 06:07

Today, my dad texted me while I was in the dentist's chair getting my teeth cleaned. The dental hygienist jumped at the notification sound my phone made and split my gum open. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 903

You deserved it 671

By Anonymous - 11/08/2014 17:24 - Czech Republic - Prague

Today, I was walking to a job interview. I needed to get rid of some gum but there were no trash cans in sight, so I spat it out on the ground. Next thing I know, some guy grabs me, sticks the gum in my hair, and walks off, muttering curses. I couldn't get it out in time for the interview. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 699

You deserved it 51 478

By Anonymous - 31/03/2015 03:52 - Netherlands - Utrecht

Today, it was my first day working as a dental assistant, leaving me in charge of all cleaning. The first patient was so scared, he peed his pants. Which might have been understandable if he hadn't been a fully grown man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 494

You deserved it 2 473

Minty freshness

By Sergie - 04/06/2010 09:28 - Ireland

Today, I was getting ready for my first day at work. Right before leaving the house I brushed my teeth thoroughly one more time to have a fresh breath. While cleaning my tongue, I went too far, which made me throw up. I was 20 minutes late for work. Good start. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 202

You deserved it 28 375

Unforgettable

By Anonymous - 25/10/2019 12:00 - Australia - Perth

Today, it was my first day of work at my new job. I got dressed and arrived early, only to find out that the store had closed due to a power outage. Then I found out that the person who'd hired me had totally forgotten about hiring me anyway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 938

You deserved it 121

It's called a calendar

By Anonymous - 19/05/2021 17:31 - India - Mumbai

Today, it was my first day at my first job, I got up early, got ready, waited an hour for HR to call. I called them instead and they didn't answer, so I wrote an email to the partners. It turns out I got the first day date wrong. Some first impression. FML

I agree, your life sucks 748

You deserved it 449

By Anonymous - 26/10/2010 00:22 - United States

Today, I went to my first day of work in over 2 years. As I approached the boss, he asked me what my name was. Turned out they hired the wrong person. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 647

You deserved it 2 379

Stinky

By Anonymous - 07/08/2024 17:00 - United States - Milwaukee

Today, I went to work at my new job after taking a shower but I'd forgotten to put on deodorant. I started getting strange looks and wondered why, only to find out later that everyone was talking about me, including someone I have a crush on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 180

You deserved it 347

By Eyalsh - 30/01/2015 04:53 - Germany - Greifswald

Today, I came back to my dormitory after a long shift at work. After using the toilet, I looked at myself in the mirror, only to find a huge piece of food stuck between my front teeth. I work at one of the fanciest restaurants in town; nobody bothered to tell me anything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 404

You deserved it 2 799

By Anonymous - 19/08/2015 05:49 - United States - San Jose

Today, my mom kissed me goodbye before I went to a big job interview. I got weird looks on the way there, but I figured it was just because I look like a massive douche in formal wear. Turns out my mom had smeared lipstick all over my chin. The person who finally let me know was my interviewer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 986

You deserved it 2 747

Next

Top comments

Melodija 19

Monday 12 May 2014 1:38

Oh god, can you get it out or do you have to cut it out? That's a great first impression though :P

harrypotter955 19

Monday 12 May 2014 1:38

Well that's a sticky situation...

Comments

Omniprism 14

Monday 12 May 2014 20:00

Your dad's a jerk.

False_Stupidity 41

Monday 12 May 2014 21:15

It got old several hundred FML's ago..

ladybugz23 13

Tuesday 13 May 2014 1:31

payback to dad!!!

dumpless 13

Tuesday 13 May 2014 4:37

Let's face it, your dad is a dick.

natywantspeace 7

Tuesday 13 May 2014 6:08

Your dad is an ass, return the favor, see how he likes a shaved head!

pooldude 24

Tuesday 13 May 2014 7:58

what kind of father does that??!!

yoyocomeback 1

Thursday 15 May 2014 1:35

who does that to a kid?

nurchok 15

Thursday 15 May 2014 2:41

I accidentally YDI'ed, sorry, but I don't know what's wrong with 2848 others...

donutcallmethat 16

Saturday 17 May 2014 17:58

Shave off his eyebrows.

Keywords

Miscellaneous Relatable Messy Holidays Embarrassing Dad jokes Awkward Swimming pool Party Work Cute Christmas Family Kids Love Intimacy Sex Am I overreacting? Health Ironic Annoying Haircut Hair Money I need your advice Parents Gifts Lonely Drunk Cars

The Top

Today, I tried to have a fun night out. I met a guy and we went back to "his" place, which turned out to actually be his mother's house. He introduced me to her. Two hours later, I knew his life story and had to do the walk of shame without ever getting anywhere near his bedroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 423

You deserved it 10 272

Today, I woke up at the ungodly hour of 4AM to my cat clawing at my door and yelling at me. Normally I'd just wait until he stopped, but he was persistent, so I got up and opened the door to see what he wanted. He then corralled me to the laundry room. My dryer was on fire. Good boy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 716

You deserved it 140

The Top

Today, I untied the rope that was tied to my dog's collar because it was wrapped around the tree choking him. He immediately ran off down the street. I had to chase him barefoot in my boxers for 20 minutes till he got tired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 519

You deserved it 9 546

Today, my boyfriend convinced me to take him 30 minutes away to meet his friends so he could go fishing, adding that they wouldn't be gone all night. I dropped him off 13 hours ago, and he doesn't have a phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 994

You deserved it 249

Today, my husband decided to drain his motorcycle oil into an empty bottle of laundry detergent. Also today, I decided to lift a stain out of my white comforter with some detergent I found in the garage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 919

You deserved it 12 416

Today, my 8-year-old son microwaved his pet hamster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 617

You deserved it 9 923

Today, I found out that the mystery flowers I received from a “Johnny” that caused my boyfriend to dump me on Valentine’s Day was really from him. He concocted this plan to make it look like I was cheating on him with a “Johnny” instead of confessing he was leaving me for someone else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 372

You deserved it 95

Today, I was telling a new friend of mine about my boyfriend. I told her his name and where he is from. She interrupted me and says, "Yeah drives a big white truck, rides dirt bikes?! I dated him two years ago!" This guy and I have dated for four years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 324

You deserved it 2 752