Love, Weird, Break-ups, Gaslighting and Valentine's Day: Sneaky - FML

Sneaky

By FlowerGal88 - 28/02/2023 06:00

Today, I found out that the mystery flowers I received from a “Johnny” that caused my boyfriend to dump me on Valentine’s Day was really from him. He concocted this plan to make it look like I was cheating on him with a “Johnny” instead of confessing he was leaving me for someone else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 369

You deserved it 95

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Same thing different taste

So brave…

By just say you want to leave! - 02/10/2023 16:00

Today, I got a bouquet of beautiful flowers from someone I'd never heard of. My boyfriend flipped his shit and stormed out, calling me a cheater. I called the flower shop. Turns out he made a fake order, just so he could accuse me of cheating and dump me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 086

You deserved it 102

By damn - 04/01/2013 14:08 - Australia - Sydney

Today, I had a fight with my boyfriend over a girl he is close to. He later arrived with flowers for what I thought was an apology. He was actually breaking up with me; the flowers were for her, he just didn't want to leave them in the car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 219

You deserved it 7 350

By anonymous - 16/02/2015 12:57 - Australia - Rockdale

Today, I received a bunch of flowers from my 'lover'. This would be fine, except that I don't have a lover, and my boyfriend now thinks I'm cheating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 622

You deserved it 2 982

By BestBF - 23/04/2013 23:22 - United States - Omaha

Today, I decided to be playful and leave my girlfriend flowers and chocolates from an "Anonymous Admirer". She immediately dumped me, saying she couldn't be with someone who "isn't even as romantic as a stranger". Yep, I think I just got dumped for myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 291

You deserved it 8 732

By Anonymous - 11/09/2009 06:35 - United States

Today, my boyfriend of three years sent me several flowers and chocolate boxes to my office. It ends up that he cheated on me with my sister and tried to break the news to me after all the presents he sent. I thought he actually remembered our anniversary this year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 541

You deserved it 2 821

By Anonymous - 09/02/2014 19:00 - United States - Lowell

Today, I caught my boyfriend stealing money from my purse. He tried to turn it on me by claiming I'll owe him for the flowers he'll get me on Valentine's Day, then tried to make me feel guilty by saying the whole thing is for "selfish bitches anyway". FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 659

You deserved it 5 432

By Azure_Mist - 27/01/2011 22:53 - United States

Today, I received a bouquet of flowers from my boyfriend, which is something he's never done before. Unfortunately, this was his way of apologizing for cheating on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 303

You deserved it 3 135

By cyprianista - 13/02/2015 16:13 - United States - Houston

Today, I spent an ungodly amount of money to send my long-distance boyfriend a giant bouquet of roses for Valentine's Day. A few hours after making the non-refundable payment, he let me know we weren't going to work out, and that he was already sleeping with someone else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 196

You deserved it 4 430

Mixed signals

By marie - 28/08/2023 16:00

Today, my boyfriend surprised me with a bouquet of flowers he'd picked himself. This would’ve been romantic, had they not all been Poison Hemlock. FML

I agree, your life sucks 656

You deserved it 116

By JTo - 03/03/2012 22:07 - United States

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend because I found an email he had written to an ex-fling telling her he was single and wanted to meet up. He wrote that email from my computer, in my apartment, on Valentine's Day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 79 958

You deserved it 3 826

Next

Top comments

spinningrecords 14

Tuesday 28 February 2023 17:46

I’d send him gifts on a regular basis… “so glad you took the day off work to spend with me” etc.

BurnInDemonFire 34

Tuesday 28 February 2023 16:31

Let's hope the next one isn't a moron or a cheater. Or both.

Comments

BurnInDemonFire 34

Tuesday 28 February 2023 16:31

Let's hope the next one isn't a moron or a cheater. Or both.

spinningrecords 14

Tuesday 28 February 2023 17:46

I’d send him gifts on a regular basis… “so glad you took the day off work to spend with me” etc.

Brightside86 30

Tuesday 28 February 2023 19:52

That's some 4D Chess.

RichardPencil 30

Wednesday 1 March 2023 21:37

Is "Johnny" the Jack Nicholson character from "The Shining?"

Keywords

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The Top

Today, my grandpa told me that he and grandma had an open relationship, because, "it isn't satisfying to have sexuality with only one person your whole life.” According to grandma, he just cheated on her constantly and she couldn’t do anything to stop him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 143

You deserved it 149

If the title got you here because you thought FML was going to shut up shop, then I'm evil. Of course, today's headline only refers to the great comic Pen Goto created for us! Speaking of today's illustration, no animals were hurt in the making of th...

I agree, your life sucks 0

You deserved it 0

The Top

Today, my boyfriend of 6 months asked me to spend the night at his apartment for the first time. I had to poop really bad when I got there, so I used his only bathroom. He went after me, and came out a few seconds later, gagging. Apparently, I clogged his toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 068

You deserved it 7 037

Today, I realized I’ve become an old woman. I have dentures, wear bifocal glasses, have rheumatoid arthritis, carry a stash of candy in my purse, and got excited when I bought a new potato peeler. I’m only 29, but I’m an old woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 448

You deserved it 149

Today, my brother was telling me about my "sweet" and "pure" ex-girlfriend. Three stab wounds have already proven otherwise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 105

You deserved it 1 904

Today, after a necessary medical procedure that rendered my birth control ineffective, I found out I’m pregnant. I was already planning to break up with my manchild boyfriend, and when I told him this, his first response was, “What will my parents think?” Parents with whom he still lives at age 30. FML

I agree, your life sucks 578

You deserved it 776

Today, my neighbors were busted for a meth lab in their garage. Yesterday, I signed the mortgage. Welcome to our new neighborhood, kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 092

You deserved it 3 977

Today, my father came to my sister's place and yelled at her, "I knew it, you're such a whore!" because she slept with her new boyfriend. He's her first boyfriend in five years, since my father scared her previous boyfriend because of my father's possessive behavior. My sister is 34. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 921

You deserved it 114