Kids: Today, when I got home, my child had three bruises. My babysitter's... - FML

By Amanda - 10/03/2013 16:08 - Canada

Today, when I got home, my child had three bruises. My babysitter's excuse? "She hit me first". FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 174

You deserved it 6 671

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Same thing different taste

By rachelllynne - 09/05/2013 17:44 - United Kingdom - Manchester

Today, the woman I babysat for blamed me for the cut on her son's face, and fired me with no pay for not looking after him properly. He already had the cut when I arrived. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 850

You deserved it 3 146

Smash the patriarchy!

By Anonymous - 25/06/2023 02:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I got home to my son with a bruised face and my daughter locked in her room. Apparently, when she got home from work, her unemployed brother asked her when she was going to cook dinner, so she punched him in the head. He’s so entitled that he actually thought he’d get sympathy from me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 851

You deserved it 370

Straight to jail

By anon - 15/07/2011 01:51 - United States

Today, my child was refusing to leave the playground. I had to pry her, screaming and crying, from the monkey bars. I then realized I had been assaulting someone else's kid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 000

You deserved it 70 969

By mandy - 10/04/2009 15:35 - United States

Today, I was babysitting my neighbor's kid. We were playing in the yard, when he fell and got a small scratch on his leg. I gasp, and he takes a huge breath in and yells, "FUUUCK!!!" as loud as possible. The parents thought it was me, and the mother slapped me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 281

You deserved it 3 559

Sorry sweetie

By ddhaley1 - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Edmond

Today, instead of kissing my child's boo-boo on her finger to make it feel better, I accidentally headbutted her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 804

You deserved it 3 321

The Headmaster Ritual

By angry mama - 21/09/2019 00:01

Today, while picking my daughter up from school, I saw her being beaten by two boys while the teacher stood there doing nothing. I ran to help, but then she pushed one of the boys off her. The teacher then pulled her away, yelled at her and then yelled at me for "not raising my kid right." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 815

You deserved it 135

By unknown - 15/09/2011 00:21 - United States

Today, I got a call from my daughter's school saying that she had beat someone up. She's 4. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 180

You deserved it 6 096

By uterurist - 22/11/2014 18:37 - United States - Saint Paul

Today, my son trained his little sister to walk up to strangers and whimper: "My mommy punches me." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 855

You deserved it 2 921

Evil child

By little_star78 - 13/11/2013 11:08 - United States - Bloomfield Hills

Today, I tried to put the little girl I babysit in timeout for lying to me. I was about to sit her down when she made a mad dash for the basement stairs, slipped on the wood floor, and fell down them. She told her parents and everyone at the ER that I had thrown her down the stairs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 199

You deserved it 3 607

By ournhd - 13/11/2009 06:11 - United States

Today, I got bailed out of jail. I was there because I saw a girl being hit by her boyfriend. I rushed over to help only to have her hit me repeatedly. The cops came and she blamed her bruises on me. The boyfriend corroborated her story. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 277

You deserved it 3 135

Next

Top comments

Cysioland 8

Sunday 10 March 2013 19:29

I think you should sue her to death

waffule365 16

Sunday 10 March 2013 19:30

Maybe you could give the babysitter a few bruises.

Comments

Catkam623 27

Sunday 10 March 2013 19:33

Shoot her and say she looked at me first. -cop: seems like a legit reason

TheRandomIndian 17

Sunday 10 March 2013 20:49

That makes no sense

Pleonasm 35

Sunday 10 March 2013 19:33

Wow. Get rid of her straight away. She hit a child she was supposed to be caring for? You might as well report her or something for that.

SHAMUS_the_WITTY 18

Sunday 10 March 2013 21:34

Damn. Babysitter ****** up if Pleonasm didn't make a joke or pun

mk58 31

Sunday 10 March 2013 19:34

I feel like OP just got the 12 year old neighbour to babysit.

Gmoney333 4

Monday 11 March 2013 0:50

I'm 12 an I don't think that a 12 year old would do that! No I KNOW a 12 year old would do that!

BlowinChronic 18

Monday 11 March 2013 1:08

You know a 12 year old would do that?

mk58 31

Sunday 31 March 2013 23:51

When I say a 12 year old, I mean someone who is immature and therefore incapable of not acting childish.

xninix_fml 36

Friday 26 July 2013 2:47

@114 why on earth are you on this site? Your 12...

tinysocks 11

Sunday 10 March 2013 19:40

Hope your child is alright!!

TiddleyMoney 7

Sunday 10 March 2013 19:43

looks like someone is applying for unemployment tomorrow!

tialeanne 19

Sunday 10 March 2013 19:56

Unless the babysitter was hired through a professional staffing agency, she wouldn't be able to file for unemployment for getting fired from a tax-free job.

TiddleyMoney 7

Sunday 10 March 2013 19:57

it was kind of a joke. not meant to be taken in a literal sense...

alwayswinning123 7

Sunday 10 March 2013 19:46

Have her arrested and press charges, that's child abuse

Kiki242 19

Sunday 10 March 2013 19:46

Break her face in.

truesarrif 33

Sunday 10 March 2013 19:47

Granted you may have never suspected the babysitter to be capable of this prior to it happening.. but these days you never know. I say invest in a nannycam. they are cheap and video evidence doesn't lie

TiddleyMoney 7

Sunday 10 March 2013 19:49

well, the babysitter kinda already just told OP that she hit the kid. you don't really need video surveillance

truesarrif 33

Sunday 10 March 2013 19:51

I was referring to in the future.

TiddleyMoney 7

Sunday 10 March 2013 19:55

I had realized that like a second after I posted my reply... and on that note... I agree with you kind sir.

alex_m13 3

Sunday 10 March 2013 19:52

the child probably deserved it

Michael_92 20

Sunday 10 March 2013 20:04

Are you ******* serious? It's not your child and you have NO right to lay a hand on the child. I hope you never babysit.

Momo_Moonlight 25

Sunday 10 March 2013 19:54

****. Fire the babysitter. Then sue her to hell.

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The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 15 371

You deserved it 29 703

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I agree, your life sucks 567

You deserved it 2 713

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 10 439

You deserved it 65 957

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I agree, your life sucks 68 896

You deserved it 5 987

Today, I tried to tell a kid he couldn't skate without a helmet. He called me a Karen and pushed me into a fountain, so I called the cops. The cops arrived and questioned the kid, who said I deserved it for being a Karen. They accepted that, and told me to stop harassing kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 405

You deserved it 1 912

Today, I was listening to music on my Bluetooth wireless headphones, when I put them around my neck to do something. Later, I put them back on to continue listening to my music. Even later on, I was looking for them and couldn't find them. I thought I had lost them, but then realized they were still on my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 199

You deserved it 762

Today, I sneezed while brushing my teeth and ended up with toothpaste in my eye. I haven't been able to see clearly for two hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 790

You deserved it 4 018

Today, my boyfriend bitched me out for being too controlling. Apparently, not only am I being unreasonable by not wanting him visiting strip clubs with his friends, I'm also just "looking for excuses to get mad" at him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 403

You deserved it 17 304