Kids: Today, when I got home, my child had three bruises. My babysitter's... - FML

By Amanda - 10/03/2013 16:08 - Canada

Today, when I got home, my child had three bruises. My babysitter's excuse? "She hit me first". FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 174

You deserved it 6 671

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Same thing different taste

By rachelllynne - 09/05/2013 17:44 - United Kingdom - Manchester

Today, the woman I babysat for blamed me for the cut on her son's face, and fired me with no pay for not looking after him properly. He already had the cut when I arrived. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 850

You deserved it 3 146

Smash the patriarchy!

By Anonymous - 25/06/2023 02:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I got home to my son with a bruised face and my daughter locked in her room. Apparently, when she got home from work, her unemployed brother asked her when she was going to cook dinner, so she punched him in the head. He’s so entitled that he actually thought he’d get sympathy from me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 851

You deserved it 370

Straight to jail

By anon - 15/07/2011 01:51 - United States

Today, my child was refusing to leave the playground. I had to pry her, screaming and crying, from the monkey bars. I then realized I had been assaulting someone else's kid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 000

You deserved it 70 969

By mandy - 10/04/2009 15:35 - United States

Today, I was babysitting my neighbor's kid. We were playing in the yard, when he fell and got a small scratch on his leg. I gasp, and he takes a huge breath in and yells, "FUUUCK!!!" as loud as possible. The parents thought it was me, and the mother slapped me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 281

You deserved it 3 559

Sorry sweetie

By ddhaley1 - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Edmond

Today, instead of kissing my child's boo-boo on her finger to make it feel better, I accidentally headbutted her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 804

You deserved it 3 321

The Headmaster Ritual

By angry mama - 21/09/2019 00:01

Today, while picking my daughter up from school, I saw her being beaten by two boys while the teacher stood there doing nothing. I ran to help, but then she pushed one of the boys off her. The teacher then pulled her away, yelled at her and then yelled at me for "not raising my kid right." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 815

You deserved it 135

By unknown - 15/09/2011 00:21 - United States

Today, I got a call from my daughter's school saying that she had beat someone up. She's 4. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 180

You deserved it 6 096

By uterurist - 22/11/2014 18:37 - United States - Saint Paul

Today, my son trained his little sister to walk up to strangers and whimper: "My mommy punches me." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 855

You deserved it 2 921

Evil child

By little_star78 - 13/11/2013 11:08 - United States - Bloomfield Hills

Today, I tried to put the little girl I babysit in timeout for lying to me. I was about to sit her down when she made a mad dash for the basement stairs, slipped on the wood floor, and fell down them. She told her parents and everyone at the ER that I had thrown her down the stairs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 199

You deserved it 3 607

By ournhd - 13/11/2009 06:11 - United States

Today, I got bailed out of jail. I was there because I saw a girl being hit by her boyfriend. I rushed over to help only to have her hit me repeatedly. The cops came and she blamed her bruises on me. The boyfriend corroborated her story. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 277

You deserved it 3 135

Next

Top comments

Cysioland 8

Sunday 10 March 2013 19:29

I think you should sue her to death

waffule365 16

Sunday 10 March 2013 19:30

Maybe you could give the babysitter a few bruises.

Comments

Ziggy122 15

Monday 11 March 2013 0:23

Okay. Not only should you fire the babysitter and possibly press charges, but you should also teach your kid not to hit people.

krmc822 6

Monday 11 March 2013 0:26

Real mature... Ahaha what a bitchhh

Eivana 37

Monday 11 March 2013 0:45

I would murder that bitch for hitting my child.

jazzmancarron 11

Monday 11 March 2013 1:47

Yea, I'd definitely be going apeshit about that one.

wvcheesehead1 9

Monday 11 March 2013 2:04

We do not know the whole story, but this is probably a situation where the sitter was about 12 and the kid 6. Kid probably worked for 5 bucks a night and being a child herself it sounds like more of a kids squabble, instead of a legal matter. If this person is an adult and you have not called the police, then you and the babysitter should be in jail.

wvcheesehead1 9

Monday 11 March 2013 4:13

Everyone with a comment is making up their own story as we just do not know. I based my thought on the clearly juvenile reasoning the sitter gave... What adult would find that acceptable.

calucalay 13

Monday 11 March 2013 2:07

as an aunt who basically raised her nieces and nephews since she was nine all I can say is you need to call the cops and press charges because that is not okay, I spank my nieces and nephews but have not once left a bruise and hardly left a red mark there is only so far a hit or swap can go. the sitter went to far and I hope you got rid of thr sitter immediatly

dr_snow_bear 29

Monday 11 March 2013 2:09

You forgot the part where you kicked the babysitters ass...

Obey_StudBoii 23

Monday 11 March 2013 2:39

Oh wow. I hope you got the authorities involved. Definitely grounds for child abuse an it doesn't matter what age.

theannak 7

Monday 11 March 2013 2:42

I hope you beat the living shit out of that babysitter.

cheshireau 26

Monday 11 March 2013 2:54

I had to read this twice. What a shitty sitter.

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The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 12 636

You deserved it 1 195

Today, I put lemon juice in my hair as a cheap and easy way to get highlights. I left it in my hair and I laid out in the backyard to get some sun. The sunshine wasn't the only thing that found me; it seems every bug in the neighborhood is now hiding in my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 539

You deserved it 51 164

The Top

Today, it's my birthday. My gifts were a stomach bug from my kid and a confession to a year-long affair from my (now soon-to-be-ex) husband of 21 years. Nobody even got me a card. FML

I agree, your life sucks 640

You deserved it 99

Today, I walked into a really fancy hotel bathroom. I spoke to the attendant and gave her my purse and coat while I used the toilet. When I came out, she was gone. The receptionist informed me they didn't have a bathroom attendant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 037

You deserved it 52 517

Today, I was making a TikTok in the bathroom mirror. Right as I was finishing up, my little brother burst in, shouted, "That's going on YouTube!" and ran off. Guess what he did five minutes later? FML.

I agree, your life sucks 69

You deserved it 608

Today, I was meeting up with a friend in a town. He said he was at the restaurant we were going to meet at; I was too. Turns out I was in the wrong town. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 394

You deserved it 2 037

Today, I was taking the bus back to my university campus, having left work early feeling sick. While on the bus I started retching. I managed to hold it in for a while, but as I stood up to get off the bus, I started puking through my mouth and nose. This was in front of twenty other passengers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 226

You deserved it 2 998

Today, I had just gotten out of the shower when I thought I had to fart, so I ripped it. instead, I shat all over myself and my floor. I'm 30. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 519

You deserved it 1 385