Miscellaneous: Today, while at football practice, my teammates and I were on...

By nail714 - 25/06/2009 05:02 - United States

Today, while at football practice, my teammates and I were on water break. At the bus barn next to the field, a good-looking girl was washing a bus. Some of the guys started to yell pick-up lines at her from 50 yards away, and pretty soon I chime in. She turns around. It was my younger sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 202

You deserved it 73 548

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Same thing different taste

Watch your step

By the guy that didn't get his kiss - 25/06/2021 16:01

Today, while at a football game, I had my arm around my girlfriend. We were really close and I was just about to kiss her when suddenly her phone rang. It was her dad, telling her he's watching. FML

I agree, your life sucks 962

You deserved it 149

Denied

By uglyswimmer - 23/04/2009 01:58 - United States

Today, I was talking to a swimmer I just met. I saw a cute guy and whispered to her, "That guy is hot." She asked "Who?" I pointed at him. She turned to see him, then turned back to me and said "Ew, that's my brother." She went to him, whispered something. He turned around to see me and said, "EW." FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 650

You deserved it 7 752

By Anonymous - 11/09/2010 04:01 - United States

Today, I went to a school football game alone. I sat next to these hot girls. To seem cool, I picked up my phone and had a fake conversation with the coolest guy in the grade. Halfway through, he came over and talked to the girls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 673

You deserved it 62 593

By DangerZone - 12/11/2009 03:05 - United States

Today, I was playing football for my school. I had the ball and was running down the sideline. The guy behind pulled my flag off along with my shorts and boxers. I dove to try to escape and I happened to land on the hottest girl in the class who was on the sideline. I had no pants on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 950

You deserved it 5 119

You IDIOT

By A.L.Woody - 11/08/2009 06:42 - United States

Today, I was approached by the head cheerleader, and she asked for my number. I was so excited that I gave it to her without question. Then she smiled, and walked away. Too bad my girlfriend was right behind me when it happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 794

You deserved it 113 097

By Nat3_2020 - 27/01/2015 14:02 - United States

Today, as I walked on to the bus, the girl I liked whispered something to her friend. Curious, I asked what was so funny. She said she never realized that when I got on, I shook the bus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 133

You deserved it 3 742

By Rach - 20/02/2010 13:58 - Ireland

Today, I saw my crush standing at the bus stop. I did the "I'm talking to someone on the phone thing," trying to be cool. Halfway through the conversation my phone actually rang, I quickly answered but it was my mom on loudspeaker yelling, "Did you bring your tampons?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 118

You deserved it 40 788

Mind melt

By roar_shark - 11/07/2009 03:41 - Canada

Today, I was driving home from my friend's house and noticed this really cute girl riding her bike. She had an amazing body, beautiful blonde hair, and looked like my kind of girl! About 10 minutes after I got home, my sister pulled up. She had just biked home from the hair salon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 272

You deserved it 30 149

By look before you speak - 09/02/2014 07:12 - United States

Today, I was at a swim meet. I asked my friend if he could be my wingman and help me get a date with a girl I really liked. I told him my plan, and as I finished and turned to go to her, I noticed her standing right there, listening in on the whole conversation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 624

You deserved it 13 825

By heycutie - 15/04/2014 04:24 - United States - Grand Rapids

Today, while I was waiting for the bus, I was whistling. I saw a cute girl running and I looked at my phone so it didn't seem too awkward. I was still whistling as she passed by so it sounded like I whistled at her. She ran back to slap me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 955

You deserved it 7 276

itsnotmytree 0

Thursday 25 June 2009 12:10

That's what you get for being an obnoxious ass.

AndreaKina 0

Thursday 25 June 2009 12:11

pschh you totally deserved that, I feel bad for the girl

Comments

nuutsacker 0

Thursday 30 July 2009 3:53

all right, ur just coming off as immature right now. you know that some of those insults are legendary, even epic, so you can go to jolly pirate donuts and take a 2 hour shit for all i care. eat my short dick! i could do this all DAY baby! woooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!

Emma_91 0

Thursday 30 July 2009 11:58

Hey genius you forgot to hit reply. And I'M the immature one?

nuutsacker 0

Thursday 30 July 2009 22:54

go count your dick! first, im gonna make u eat my shit. then im gonna make u shit out my shit. then im gonna make u eat ur shit which is made up of my shit that i made u eat. so why dont u make like a banana, and SHIT!!! and yes, ur the immature one, so reply to THAT biatch! woooooooooooooooooooo!!!

Emma_91 0

Saturday 1 August 2009 2:17

Either this is a bad joke or you're a bigger idiot than I first thought. So you're telling me to eat shit, and making sexist comments, and I'm the immature one? Please tell me how you're going to make me do anything as you have no idea where I live.

nuutsacker 0

Saturday 1 August 2009 5:24

come on, the sexist comments were in the 1st post, thats old. and u can still eat shit! big bag of shit! may god shove a jumbo-sized can of pringles up ur asshole! you are an immature, cockhatting, ball-licking, whipped-cream-off-kimbo-slice's-nipple-eating, scrotum-gargling nutsack wrangler! you think slower than old people ****! btw, if my dog had a face like urs i'd shave his ass and teach him to walk backwards. suck on that you ****-jiggling thunder-****. wooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!

Emma_91 0

Sunday 2 August 2009 16:47

One question...why did you only post after almost everyone had stopped watching the thread? And if we must be nitpicky, then the sexist comments were in the 1st,and 2nd comments. Your insults make you sound like a 5 year old. Seriously, what's with the obsession with sex? Get a ******* life.

nuutsacker 0

Saturday 8 August 2009 21:36

i didnt see an obsession with sex or any sexist comments in the 2nd post, just some epic insults that leave the insulted party speechless and defeated. you are an unsightly growth on the genitals of society. may god shove the entire washington monument up ur butthole!!! you are the one who is the ball licker!!! i point my foot long (minus 10 1/2 inches) penis at you and shoot a stream of urine in your general direction! sip on THAT!!!!