Intimacy: Today, while at work, I got a call. They left a voicemail. It...

By Cantbreath94 - 13/11/2010 06:07 - Canada

Today, while at work, I got a call. They left a voicemail. It was a 7 minute voicemail of the mattress squeaking and my mom screaming my dad's name. I am going to their house for supper tonight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 629

You deserved it 3 135

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Big awkward moment

By JDLAX1924 - 05/08/2010 23:24 - United States

Today, my mom came into my bedroom and told me to "Listen to this voicemail." I listened to me and my girlfriend talking dirty, followed by the bed springs bouncing for three minutes. I had my phone in the pocket while I was having sex with her and it left my mom a nice voicemail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 832

You deserved it 42 646

By Maxime - 20/11/2008 10:19 - France

Today, after making love to my girlfriend, I realised that the phone was on the bed and because of the movements, it called my dad by itself. It went to voicemail. My dad will soon have all the details. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 926

You deserved it 9 848

By glittercat - 26/01/2009 23:44 - United States

Today, I heard my mom moan in the other room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 264

You deserved it 3 323

Nice to know

By rejectedson - 15/10/2009 23:23 - United States

Today, my father got married. He left me a voicemail to tell me all about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 667

You deserved it 2 257

By Gwayhir - 19/11/2008 04:58 - France

Today, I was making love with my girlfriend and my landline rang. Obviously, I let it go to voicemail. At the very moment I was about to cum, I heard my mum's voice on my voicemail: "Hi sweetheart!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 070

You deserved it 4 922

My ears! My ears!

By Anonymous - 13/06/2019 05:15

Today, I woke up at 1:39 a.m. to my dad's phone going off, only to hear my parents having sex. It's now 2:12 a.m. and I can still hear them going at it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 907

You deserved it 249

Another non-emergency

By Anonymous - 29/10/2024 20:00 - United States

Today, I went on a date, and halfway through I started getting nonstop calls from “Mom” on my phone. Annoyed, I silenced them. Later, I checked my voicemail. It was actually my mom calling from the ER because she had slipped and broken her ankle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 126

You deserved it 600

By noway6000 - 03/03/2009 16:49 - United States

Today, my parents left for work before I had to leave for school and I decided to skip. I stayed by the phone, expecting the school to call so I could pose as my parent and excuse my absence. The phone rings and I pick up. It's my Mom, calling to leave my dad a message on the machine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 569

You deserved it 94 767

Wish you were here

By taylor124 - 22/08/2009 05:03 - United States

Today, I listened to a voicemail from my mom about how she misses me and can't wait to see me when I get back from vacation. Thinking she hung up, my mother then had a conversation with my aunt about how quiet the house is without me and how she'd be blessed if I didn't come home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 092

You deserved it 2 879

By over_protected - 18/01/2010 12:28 - Canada

Today, I received a message from front desk that my concerned father is trying to contact me. I call only to hear that my parents were freaking out that I wasn't answering my phone. They saw me 9 hours ago. They were going to call the police. I'm in college and also don't live with them anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 176

You deserved it 2 482

bigphill1333 0

Saturday 13 November 2010 16:10

Well I guess your moms a screamer and your dad has skills.

angel55033 12

Saturday 13 November 2010 16:11

play it back for them lol but WTF why did you listen to all 7 minutes that's just wrong

Comments

cdatribe23 0

Saturday 13 November 2010 17:31

yummm lol sounds like an appetizing evening with the parentals :D

Comedie 0

Saturday 13 November 2010 19:48

Even better if someone calls OP while they're eating, and the ringtone changed to herself screaming. Oh, I guess they'd be even ! :)

oreoreo 0

Saturday 13 November 2010 17:55

Your Mom: "So honey, how was work today?" You: "Um...interesting." Your Mom: "Really? How so?" You: "You guys called me." Your Mom: "We did? I certainly don't remember calling you at work. Did we leave a message?" You: "Yeah." Your Mom: "Well, don't keep us on the edge of our seats. What did it say?" You: "There was more screaming than there was actual talking." Your Mom:"Screaming? Why on Earth would I be scr--" You: "BECAUSE YOU WERE HAVING SEX!!!" Your Mom: "Oh." long silence Your Dad: "So, how about them Lakers?"

LaFHlax 0

Saturday 13 November 2010 18:06

hahahahahaha :)

iceex56 0

Saturday 13 November 2010 18:56

loovvvve it ^^

dudeitsdanny 9

Saturday 13 November 2010 21:36

I was thinking "how aboot them oilers?" But I don't know if it's hockey season.

JohnBrownRyce 0

Saturday 13 November 2010 18:01

kinky.

awesomesauce8 0

Saturday 13 November 2010 18:26

so mom and dad....what did YOU guys do today?

lacejane 0

Saturday 13 November 2010 18:38

FYL..I hope you recover from this soon :-)

TheBestManEver 0

Saturday 13 November 2010 19:04

There is hardly anything to recover from here, it's not like they saw their parents in the act. Nothing a few drinks cant fix. Also, stop double posting, you posted the exact same thing at the beginning of this FML.

RedPillSucks 31

Sunday 14 November 2010 4:09

Nothing a little frontal lobotomy or electroshock therapy can't cure. Sometimes the comment bug causes double posting, or people don't see their comment immediately after refreshing, so they post again. Chill.

KamilleBlack 3

Saturday 13 November 2010 18:47

Why would you listen to it for 7 minutes? I don't feel bad for you cuz we've all heard our folks having sex. That's why God invented iPods or in ur case, delete buttons....

jolly12 0

Saturday 13 November 2010 19:18

hahahahahahaahahahahahahhaaha that's ****** hilarious hahahaha why did you listen to the whole thing? are you some kinda sick freak who gets off to that? WTF??