Intimacy: Today, while cleaning my ears with Q-tips, I came in my pants....

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By ANON - 13/08/2013 23:53 - United States - Sacramento

Today, while cleaning my ears with Q-tips, I came in my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 068

You deserved it 19 170

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Same thing different taste

By idontlikebitter - 08/03/2016 21:10 - Switzerland - Klingnau

Today, as I was doing my make-up, I needed a Q-tip to fix a mistake. I took one out the box and put it in my mouth to get it wet. Too bad someone had used it before to clean their ears. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 225

You deserved it 3 967

Coming through

By Anonymous - 09/08/2023 18:00

Today, I was cleaning wax out my ears when my wife came barrelling into the bathroom, desperate to pee. The door slammed right into the side of my head and the cotton swab I was using was pushed all the way in and ruptured my eardrum. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 069

You deserved it 188

I am the passenger

By Anonymous - 03/11/2024 13:00 - Canada - Victoria

Today, when I went to the bathroom, I found an earwig in my underpants. Yes, it was alive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 352

You deserved it 71

By box bulge - 21/10/2011 01:24 - China

Today, whilst trying on a pair of jeans, I got my genitals caught in my fly. I'm a woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 024

You deserved it 9 983

By brooke - 13/08/2012 04:45 - United States

Today, while out at dinner with my boyfriend, I accidentally ripped out my tampon picking a wedgie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 465

You deserved it 25 233

Wax on, wax off

By Bllllaaaaaah - 24/09/2019 04:01 - United States - Juno

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting it on. At one point, he started to kiss my ear. Then, he stopped, went into the bathroom, and came out with about four Q-tips. He then said to me, "Just take care of your ears, then I'll continue." FML

I agree, your life sucks 873

You deserved it 2 097

By pantyripper - 24/03/2014 12:39 - Australia - Essendon

Today, I ripped my old, worn underwear while trying to pick a wedgie in public. Half ended up in my hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 318

You deserved it 21 685

By grossed out - 05/05/2013 23:10 - United States - Mount Prospect

Today, I was at my aunt and uncle's house. I went to the bathroom and after I washed my hands, I took a Q-tip out of the carton to clean my ears. When I reached for a second one, I noticed that every Q-tip in the carton was actually already used. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 261

You deserved it 8 265

Ouch

By Anonymous - 01/04/2018 05:00

Today, I went in for an STD test. The Q-tip broke off in my urethra. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 556

You deserved it 439

By Anon - 25/08/2015 10:10 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, I took a phone call in the bathroom, since the rest of the house was too noisy. I sat down on the toilet and waited while they put me on hold. After a while, I must have forgotten the lid was down and my pants were still on, because I started peeing myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 647

You deserved it 9 148

agentaquamarine 4

Wednesday 14 August 2013 8:52

talk about ear-otic

ghostlilac 25

Wednesday 14 August 2013 8:47

Andy Samberg? Is that you?

Comments

athos1237 4

Wednesday 14 August 2013 19:32

You need to find someone who'll touch you.

ThedaRose 15

Wednesday 14 August 2013 20:27

wtf?!?!

worldclassrager 39

Wednesday 14 August 2013 20:55

That's something that doesn't happen everyday.,,

alison98hp 8

Wednesday 14 August 2013 21:21

Thank god. I thought I was the only one.

browniey 11

Wednesday 14 August 2013 21:36

That feeling is great. You discovered what turns you on good thing it isn't in front of others.

alchemist27 13

Wednesday 14 August 2013 22:09

I thought qtipping was only a joke on tosh.o

insanez58 11

Wednesday 14 August 2013 23:35

sounds like your sex life could get interesting

phoneYuNOlisten 16

Thursday 15 August 2013 0:17

I wouldn't even be mad

dawood_k 27

Thursday 15 August 2013 0:34

Wrong hole

starsfan326 12

Thursday 15 August 2013 0:54

Wtf

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The Top

Today, I was watching a movie on my chair. I leaned back on the back of the chair and kept leaning back. Then I slowly fell down with my chair, onto the floor. It made a big noise, but nobody was hurt, it was just really absurd, like I'd watched another episode of Mr. Bean. FML

I agree, your life sucks 92

You deserved it 314

Today, at work at an OB office, I heard a ruckus in the hallway before a very large woman burst into my room and tried to attack my very pregnant patient. Crazy lady is the wife of the pregnant lady’s baby daddy, who is nowhere to be found. I don’t get paid enough for this shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 563

You deserved it 70

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 30 589

You deserved it 2 850

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I agree, your life sucks 31 373

You deserved it 2 975

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I agree, your life sucks 938

You deserved it 149

Today, I finished my 83-page thesis for my Stanford class and put it on my desk. Then, as a prank, my girlfriend hid it. She forgot where she put it. The thesis is due in 3 days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 728

You deserved it 665

Today, my boyfriend and I were having a conversation about the lack of communication in our relationship. I told him that sometimes I feel like he doesn't really care about me at all. If he did, he would listen more. His response? "I know your name, don't I?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 445

You deserved it 5 834

Today, my car was stolen from my driveway. I reported it to the police, the insurance company, and my neighbors, and begged for help via social media. As I walked to catch a bus, I saw my car parked outside my school. I forgot I left it there last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 573

You deserved it 45 736