Intimacy: Today, while cleaning my ears with Q-tips, I came in my pants....

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By ANON - 13/08/2013 23:53 - United States - Sacramento

Today, while cleaning my ears with Q-tips, I came in my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 068

You deserved it 19 170

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Same thing different taste

By idontlikebitter - 08/03/2016 21:10 - Switzerland - Klingnau

Today, as I was doing my make-up, I needed a Q-tip to fix a mistake. I took one out the box and put it in my mouth to get it wet. Too bad someone had used it before to clean their ears. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 225

You deserved it 3 967

Coming through

By Anonymous - 09/08/2023 18:00

Today, I was cleaning wax out my ears when my wife came barrelling into the bathroom, desperate to pee. The door slammed right into the side of my head and the cotton swab I was using was pushed all the way in and ruptured my eardrum. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 069

You deserved it 188

I am the passenger

By Anonymous - 03/11/2024 13:00 - Canada - Victoria

Today, when I went to the bathroom, I found an earwig in my underpants. Yes, it was alive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 352

You deserved it 71

By box bulge - 21/10/2011 01:24 - China

Today, whilst trying on a pair of jeans, I got my genitals caught in my fly. I'm a woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 024

You deserved it 9 983

By brooke - 13/08/2012 04:45 - United States

Today, while out at dinner with my boyfriend, I accidentally ripped out my tampon picking a wedgie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 465

You deserved it 25 233

Wax on, wax off

By Bllllaaaaaah - 24/09/2019 04:01 - United States - Juno

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting it on. At one point, he started to kiss my ear. Then, he stopped, went into the bathroom, and came out with about four Q-tips. He then said to me, "Just take care of your ears, then I'll continue." FML

I agree, your life sucks 873

You deserved it 2 098

By pantyripper - 24/03/2014 12:39 - Australia - Essendon

Today, I ripped my old, worn underwear while trying to pick a wedgie in public. Half ended up in my hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 318

You deserved it 21 685

By grossed out - 05/05/2013 23:10 - United States - Mount Prospect

Today, I was at my aunt and uncle's house. I went to the bathroom and after I washed my hands, I took a Q-tip out of the carton to clean my ears. When I reached for a second one, I noticed that every Q-tip in the carton was actually already used. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 261

You deserved it 8 265

Ouch

By Anonymous - 01/04/2018 05:00

Today, I went in for an STD test. The Q-tip broke off in my urethra. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 556

You deserved it 439

By Anon - 25/08/2015 10:10 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, I took a phone call in the bathroom, since the rest of the house was too noisy. I sat down on the toilet and waited while they put me on hold. After a while, I must have forgotten the lid was down and my pants were still on, because I started peeing myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 647

You deserved it 9 148

agentaquamarine 4

Wednesday 14 August 2013 8:52

talk about ear-otic

ghostlilac 25

Wednesday 14 August 2013 8:47

Andy Samberg? Is that you?

Comments

DWynter 11

Wednesday 14 August 2013 15:30

I've heard of this. Must have been quite startling to discover.

lifeofpie25 16

Wednesday 14 August 2013 15:35

your gf must never bite your ears again :)

oscarsama 2

Wednesday 14 August 2013 16:00

So it is possible!

Rick1969 6

Wednesday 14 August 2013 16:34

This sounds made up. If by chance it's actually true, i would say that you could use a little more interaction with the opposite sex.

Pigeon89 34

Wednesday 14 August 2013 17:08

Damn I've been using mine wrong- all mine make me do is cough :(

robchfra 5

Wednesday 14 August 2013 17:13

Why is this an FML?! I wish I could do that!

duckit 0

Wednesday 14 August 2013 17:15

Someone watches too many Lonely Island videos

Xotoolyxo 16

Wednesday 14 August 2013 17:19

It's been a while hasn't it OP?

Epikouros 31

Wednesday 14 August 2013 17:19

Can I interest you in some extra thick Q-tips, in exchange for a slip of gold-pressed latinum?

NichEzec 4

Wednesday 14 August 2013 17:27

take it eady dude.

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