Sex and Intimacy: Today, while getting it on with my wife, I started to talk dirty...

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By StretchNuts - 11/03/2010 12:50 - United States

Today, while getting it on with my wife, I started to talk dirty to her. She started laughing. When I asked her if she wanted me to stop, she just kept on laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 487

You deserved it 4 827

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Same thing different taste

By Something I said? - 05/11/2013 15:26 - United States - Bronx

Today, as my wife and I were getting intimate, I thought I would try a little "dirty talk". I whispered in her ear that I would "dick her down good". She couldn't stop laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 061

You deserved it 59 105

Bad sign

By Anonymous - 30/12/2010 01:28 - United States

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when she starts laughing and says, "Wow, this is just too funny." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 867

You deserved it 6 272

By Anonymous - 27/02/2015 19:37 - United States - Roseville

Today, while having sex, my fiancé started talking dirty. I enjoyed it, until he had a brain fart and said, "God, you love fucking my pussy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 015

You deserved it 4 307

TMI

By SoggyPancakes - 11/03/2009 19:49 - United States

Today, I decided to call my wife while she was having a private lunch with my parents. I began to tell her all the nasty things I was going to do to her in bed. Halfway through my fantasy, she giggled and told me that she was going to take me off speakerphone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 826

You deserved it 71 913

Careless Whisper

By ihatejasonderulo - 02/09/2014 15:32 - United Kingdom - Hounslow

Today, I asked my girlfriend to talk dirty to me. Her response was to impersonate a saxophone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 677

You deserved it 9 969

Smooth talker

By ugh - 31/01/2012 00:25 - United States

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. It was going well until she started talking dirty, saying stuff like, "You like my tushy, baby?" "I want to fellate you so bad," and "You'll need some ice after this one." My boner practically retracted into my body. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 980

You deserved it 5 610

By Anonymous - 19/01/2016 11:03 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It was all going great until he decided to try talking dirty. His idea of this was moaning loudly, "Just what the pussy ordered" as he entered me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 325

You deserved it 2 768

Deez nutz hurtz

By Anonymous - 11/03/2020 15:01

Today, I was about to have sex with my wife, so I walked into our room naked, but then whacked myself in the nuts with the door handle as I attempted to close it. She can't stop laughing, and I can't sit down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 096

You deserved it 530

Thanks, I hate it!

By Anonymous - 26/09/2020 14:02 - United States

Today, I asked my girlfriend to talk dirty to me while I was at work. She did so by telling me she has a yeast infection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 118

You deserved it 477

I am clumsy!

By Anonymous - 16/01/2020 18:00

Today my girlfriend was on top during sex. I went to slap her butt, missed and nailed myself in the balls. We had to stop. She wouldn't stop laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 402

You deserved it 3 188

DGross 8

Thursday 11 March 2010 20:09

At least you know she was having fun :-)

lizliz07 0

Thursday 11 March 2010 20:09

this isn't a FML. get over it. it's not like this is the first time you guys have slept together. it would suck if you just got married and found out she always giggled during sex!

Comments

piandod 0

Wednesday 28 April 2010 2:08

OP, this is not an FML. Me and my girlfriend's relationship is practically based on laughter. You just probably aren't very good at talking dirty, and so it sounds funny coming out of your mouth. That's ok, cause I'm no good at it either. My advice? If you can't go for dirty, go for sweet instead, and throw out not-original but better-than-nothing phrases like "I love you", "You're so amazing", and the like. Be creative. And who knows? Perhaps someday you'll find that you can slip in something raunchy without even realizing it. Just relax, and enjoy the woman you've got. She sounds like a decent enough person to take something like that lightheartedly and not get completely bent about it.