Sex and Intimacy: Today, while getting it on with my wife, I started to talk dirty...

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By StretchNuts - 11/03/2010 12:50 - United States

Today, while getting it on with my wife, I started to talk dirty to her. She started laughing. When I asked her if she wanted me to stop, she just kept on laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 486

You deserved it 4 826

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Same thing different taste

By Something I said? - 05/11/2013 15:26 - United States - Bronx

Today, as my wife and I were getting intimate, I thought I would try a little "dirty talk". I whispered in her ear that I would "dick her down good". She couldn't stop laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 061

You deserved it 59 105

Bad sign

By Anonymous - 30/12/2010 01:28 - United States

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when she starts laughing and says, "Wow, this is just too funny." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 865

You deserved it 6 272

By Anonymous - 27/02/2015 19:37 - United States - Roseville

Today, while having sex, my fiancé started talking dirty. I enjoyed it, until he had a brain fart and said, "God, you love fucking my pussy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 015

You deserved it 4 307

TMI

By SoggyPancakes - 11/03/2009 19:49 - United States

Today, I decided to call my wife while she was having a private lunch with my parents. I began to tell her all the nasty things I was going to do to her in bed. Halfway through my fantasy, she giggled and told me that she was going to take me off speakerphone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 826

You deserved it 71 912

Careless Whisper

By ihatejasonderulo - 02/09/2014 15:32 - United Kingdom - Hounslow

Today, I asked my girlfriend to talk dirty to me. Her response was to impersonate a saxophone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 677

You deserved it 9 968

Smooth talker

By ugh - 31/01/2012 00:25 - United States

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. It was going well until she started talking dirty, saying stuff like, "You like my tushy, baby?" "I want to fellate you so bad," and "You'll need some ice after this one." My boner practically retracted into my body. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 980

You deserved it 5 610

By Anonymous - 19/01/2016 11:03 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It was all going great until he decided to try talking dirty. His idea of this was moaning loudly, "Just what the pussy ordered" as he entered me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 325

You deserved it 2 768

Deez nutz hurtz

By Anonymous - 11/03/2020 15:01

Today, I was about to have sex with my wife, so I walked into our room naked, but then whacked myself in the nuts with the door handle as I attempted to close it. She can't stop laughing, and I can't sit down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 095

You deserved it 530

Thanks, I hate it!

By Anonymous - 26/09/2020 14:02 - United States

Today, I asked my girlfriend to talk dirty to me while I was at work. She did so by telling me she has a yeast infection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 117

You deserved it 475

I am clumsy!

By Anonymous - 16/01/2020 18:00

Today my girlfriend was on top during sex. I went to slap her butt, missed and nailed myself in the balls. We had to stop. She wouldn't stop laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 402

You deserved it 3 187

DGross 8

Thursday 11 March 2010 20:09

At least you know she was having fun :-)

lizliz07 0

Thursday 11 March 2010 20:09

this isn't a FML. get over it. it's not like this is the first time you guys have slept together. it would suck if you just got married and found out she always giggled during sex!

Comments

nobridgejustwate 0

Thursday 11 March 2010 20:58

"I am going to put my penis inside your ****** and it will feel good" doesn't qualify as dirty talk. Just a helpful hint.

AMDJB 0

Thursday 11 March 2010 20:59

so?

nobridgejustwate 0

Thursday 11 March 2010 21:00

In addition, pick one. It's either "having sex" or "getting it on". You don't have get it on.

everydayisfml07 3

Thursday 11 March 2010 21:01

ydi it for not speaking correct english. "having getting it on.." WTF?

Ricafame 0

Thursday 11 March 2010 21:08

Damn wel wah u think qualifies as dirty talk..? sex and dirty talk is not supposed to be a laughing matter and if u putting it down right she won't have the breath nor the WANT to laugh... stop watching pornos that shit is not a adaquate tutorial on dirty talk

OIFMedic 0

Thursday 11 March 2010 21:09

#35....not every women is like you.. some like it ruff(rough,either way), why do you think that it's only men that like having ruff sex?

iamchuck 0

Thursday 11 March 2010 21:16

Her child is a border collie. Betcha can't guess how she likes it.

jaylynnlakebum 0

Thursday 11 March 2010 21:09

This FML makes me laugh, sorry OP. but no wonder your woman laughed.

jaylynnlakebum 0

Thursday 11 March 2010 21:12

#37 you are sooo right some woman like it rough once in a while gotta spice it up..

ObeyTheSnarf 0

Thursday 11 March 2010 21:25

Maybe she laughs when she's really enjoying it? That's not terribly unusual.

jaylynnlakebum 0

Thursday 11 March 2010 22:59

43. I've never laughed if I'm enjoying it. I don't see that to be normal. you do have to laugh at the funny stuff that happens during sex, but never at your partner.