Sex and Intimacy: Today, while getting it on with my wife, I started to talk dirty...

By StretchNuts - 11/03/2010 12:50 - United States

Today, while getting it on with my wife, I started to talk dirty to her. She started laughing. When I asked her if she wanted me to stop, she just kept on laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 468

You deserved it 4 825

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Same thing different taste

By Something I said? - 05/11/2013 15:26 - United States - Bronx

Today, as my wife and I were getting intimate, I thought I would try a little "dirty talk". I whispered in her ear that I would "dick her down good". She couldn't stop laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 056

You deserved it 59 092

Bad sign

By Anonymous - 30/12/2010 01:28 - United States

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when she starts laughing and says, "Wow, this is just too funny." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 858

You deserved it 6 270

By Anonymous - 27/02/2015 19:37 - United States - Roseville

Today, while having sex, my fiancé started talking dirty. I enjoyed it, until he had a brain fart and said, "God, you love fucking my pussy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 001

You deserved it 4 306

TMI

By SoggyPancakes - 11/03/2009 19:49 - United States

Today, I decided to call my wife while she was having a private lunch with my parents. I began to tell her all the nasty things I was going to do to her in bed. Halfway through my fantasy, she giggled and told me that she was going to take me off speakerphone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 822

You deserved it 71 899

Careless Whisper

By ihatejasonderulo - 02/09/2014 15:32 - United Kingdom - Hounslow

Today, I asked my girlfriend to talk dirty to me. Her response was to impersonate a saxophone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 671

You deserved it 9 966

Smooth talker

By ugh - 31/01/2012 00:25 - United States

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. It was going well until she started talking dirty, saying stuff like, "You like my tushy, baby?" "I want to fellate you so bad," and "You'll need some ice after this one." My boner practically retracted into my body. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 969

You deserved it 5 604

By Anonymous - 19/01/2016 11:03 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It was all going great until he decided to try talking dirty. His idea of this was moaning loudly, "Just what the pussy ordered" as he entered me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 311

You deserved it 2 764

Deez nutz hurtz

By Anonymous - 11/03/2020 15:01

Today, I was about to have sex with my wife, so I walked into our room naked, but then whacked myself in the nuts with the door handle as I attempted to close it. She can't stop laughing, and I can't sit down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 087

You deserved it 525

Thanks, I hate it!

By Anonymous - 26/09/2020 14:02 - United States

Today, I asked my girlfriend to talk dirty to me while I was at work. She did so by telling me she has a yeast infection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 113

You deserved it 473

I am clumsy!

By Anonymous - 16/01/2020 18:00

Today my girlfriend was on top during sex. I went to slap her butt, missed and nailed myself in the balls. We had to stop. She wouldn't stop laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 400

You deserved it 3 179

DGross 8

Thursday 11 March 2010 20:09

At least you know she was having fun :-)

lizliz07 0

Thursday 11 March 2010 20:09

this isn't a FML. get over it. it's not like this is the first time you guys have slept together. it would suck if you just got married and found out she always giggled during sex!

Comments

hottdawgg 0

Friday 12 March 2010 2:12

first off everyone who said Just **** her hard .... ur a moron and FYL. find out what she likes and make sure your dirty talk goes along with your actions. I can pretty much make my girl ****** just by talking to her. I'm not saying that works for all women but it's better then just "feeding it to her"

LaLaJuice 0

Friday 12 March 2010 3:07

@64.......stfu.....you are a douche.......FYL

hottdawgg 0

Friday 12 March 2010 9:34

lol I'm guessing ur one of the ones who still doesn't know how to please a partner cause u obviously felt offended lmao

ralphyr 0

Friday 12 March 2010 4:17

that's funny right there

i33dtehsceti 0

Friday 12 March 2010 5:46

probbly was laughing at your tiny package

MnBran6 0

Friday 12 March 2010 6:18

...and that's when I punched her in the face. Now I have a court date on my Saturday. FML

ski_backwards 0

Friday 12 March 2010 8:00

how is he (she?) not having 10000 ydi's? dirty is ******* stupid.

Rachalynia 0

Friday 12 March 2010 12:24

I'm jealous. after a year and a half of begging I still can't get my boyfriend to talk dirty to me. he's too self conscious about it. maybe she was just nervous or just isn't into it.

penpal33 7

Friday 12 March 2010 13:00

i am guessing but i think she was probably 'enjoying' the whole thing, so nothing to get all upset now!

geeson 0

Saturday 13 March 2010 12:07

did you enjoy the sex??

f27_fml 0

Saturday 13 March 2010 12:08

maybe your just not good in bed and she was laughing at you trying or maybe she was remembering having sex with someone else fyl

Spewki 3

Monday 15 March 2010 7:29

Some people just can't pull it off. I'm one of those people. My boyfriend told me to beg him for sex the other night, since I wanted it and he was tired, and after five minutes of trying to get past my shyness, all I could muster up was, "...please?" I couldn't bring myself to get explicit. Talking dirty doesn't come naturally to everyone. Either you need to get more practice in until you're comfortable and good at it, or you need to give it up and find a different way to spice up the sex.