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Top comments
Comments
"Today, I said something and my mom/dad/boyfriend/random hobo on the street replied with something witty back and I took it the wrong way because I can't take a joke. FML" "Today, my boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife/etc did something cute/funny. FML"
Have you tried moderating? Who in their right minds thinks their FML about getting rejected by FML will make it in here??
Get those curtains fixed.
Not to mention all the ones about how they spent some time of their life reading FML. Oh, boohoo... Ah, what's hilarious are the unfinished ones. Don't they notice that none of what they just typed is there? Oh, also, I like how people use the term "dead fish" to describe an unparticipative girl. The mental image... lol **** THE DEAD FISH!
I'm a guy and I TOTALLY get where you are coming from, so to speak. It's going to take a lot of time, effort and money to find an exact match for your curtains and your duvet cover, or ones that complement each other. That IS upsetting. Solving the first problem will be a lot easier. Tell your asshole boyfriend, "Before I **** you, get down there and eat my pussy until I tell you it's OK." And then make sure you coach him so you can get to where you need to be.
OP is a self absorbed ****. Tell him what you like, play with your clit, tweak your nipples, talk dirty. Do something, you stupid wench. Here's an idea. Enjoy the fact that someone is bothering to put their dick inside of you. Just going off of your post here, I doubt you are very interesting, bright, or enjoyable to be around.
hahaha this made me laugh really hard. reminds me of this one time I was having sex with my (now) ex, it wasnt very good and I was staring at the wall thinking how it was dirty and that I should mention to him to wash it. Then I realized he was done. meh LOL
Keywords
They're your priorities, so why is this an FML? Perhaps the reason you're not enjoying sex is because you're lying there paying attention to the curtains?
Sounds like you should start having sex in the dark...