Miscellaneous: Today, while I was cleaning, listening to music and sometimes...

By Anonymous - 12/02/2016 00:15 - United States - San Francisco

Today, while I was cleaning, listening to music and sometimes singing along, I heard a knock on my front door. I turned off the music and opened the door to the police, who stated they had to investigate reports of "repeated female screams" coming from my apartment. I'm a 23 year old man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 909

You deserved it 2 432

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Same thing different taste

By CAchickadee - 29/05/2011 04:27 - United States

Today, I was singing while unloading my dishwasher. I heard a knock on the door and went to answer it only to find the police telling me they received noise complaints from my neighbors. I live next-door to my parents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 307

You deserved it 6 238

By MALICEG - 26/05/2012 07:00 - United States - Oklahoma City

Today, there was a knock on my apartment door. It was the man from next-door, who sarcastically asked if I was alright, because he said he heard me screaming in agony. I was singing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 503

You deserved it 4 788

By I'm Not Dead Yet - 09/06/2014 19:37 - United States - Tucson

Today, I put my headphones on and laid down to relax to some music. I fell asleep, and woke up later to a police officer busting into my house. My neighbor had been knocking on my door, then looked through my window and saw me on my couch, and was convinced I'd died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 777

You deserved it 5 219

No more yodelling

By Anonymous - 05/03/2023 00:00

Today, I was singing in the shower and my neighbor called the police because they thought I was in trouble. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 070

You deserved it 233

By Anonymous - 25/06/2009 02:06 - Canada

Today, I was visiting my friend's new house and he was showing me around. I saw a small door in the wall and decided to open it. When I opened it, his daughter was hiding in there and screamed to scare me. Now I know my scream is more high pitched than his daughter's. I'm a 37 year old male. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 752

You deserved it 7 383

Suspicious minds

By abusedparrot - 24/08/2014 12:40 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, the police knocked on my door, saying that they needed to investigate my house for animal abuse. Apparently the neighbours called, reporting a "screeching bird in pain". I have no bird, but I have been singing quite loudly recently. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 258

You deserved it 6 137

Crime scene

By xTRYSOFTx - 07/03/2020 03:00 - United States

Today, I called the police because I thought a burglar had broken into our house. I found out the strange noise was just my dog fucking about, so I smashed a small window and kicked down a door so I wouldn't be embarrassed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 490

You deserved it 2 191

Fake it til you make it

By freshman - 25/03/2011 23:05 - Canada

Today, to make my dorm neighbours think I'm popular, I blasted music and screamed at the top of my lungs so it sounded like I was having a party. My residence manager slapped me with a noise violation, and demanded to come in to make sure we weren't drinking. I had to explain why I was by myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 161

You deserved it 60 226

By ThatAintLogical - 18/12/2009 20:46 - United States

Today, I slipped as I was about to take a shower, knocking myself out cold. I woke up to someone banging on my door. It was a cop checking to see if I was okay. When I asked how he knew to come, he said he was notified by "a male neighbor who called anonymously." I guess I have a peeping Tom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 204

You deserved it 2 546

By avocadotoe - 14/11/2016 06:52 - United States - Big Bear Lake

Today, my boyfriend and I were house sitting. We were a little on edge because we'd heard noises. We were starting to get intimate, and suddenly the house alarm started going off. We locked ourselves in the room, called the police, and they told us that we were the ones who'd set it off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 204

You deserved it 3 115

Jord_Fox 14

Friday 12 February 2016 15:20

Guess your voice hasn't cracked yet

ThrottleJockey 35

Friday 12 February 2016 17:13

If he starts singing they may just shoot him to stop the auditory attack.

Comments

GabbyPLluch88 13

Friday 12 February 2016 15:37

Now, that is funny. sorry bro!

SmittyJA24 26

Friday 12 February 2016 15:38

WTF are you singing to? Journey? Air Supply? Rush? Taylor Swift? Aerosmith? I'm curious....

Enslaved 36

Friday 12 February 2016 16:14

Dude sings like a lady?

revolvearoundme 15

Friday 12 February 2016 15:42

I don't know if you should be happy your neighbors are concerned for you or worried your neighbors think you're hurting women.

crudeandrudeguy 29

Friday 12 February 2016 15:47

Bieber?

vikky538 28

Friday 12 February 2016 15:53

You are the new Adam Levine

swordyx 5

Friday 12 February 2016 16:15

You are beautiful, you are beautiful, it is true...

meilzz 23

Friday 12 February 2016 16:18

Take it as proof that you hit the high notes just right!

wolf12king 12

Friday 12 February 2016 16:20

Could just be your neighbors being dicks

monkeytater96 23

Friday 12 February 2016 16:56

You are blaming it on your voice....you sure you aren't hiding/holding hostage a woman...or a man.

ThrottleJockey 35

Friday 12 February 2016 17:13

If he starts singing they may just shoot him to stop the auditory attack.

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The Top

Today, my company told me that they refuse to buy me new safety footwear without a doctor's note, because my shoe size is three sizes smaller than the minimum size my company provides. I actually have to get my doctor to prove my shoe size. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 524

You deserved it 1 300

Today, I received a package addressed to me. Excited, I opened it in front of my whole family. Inside was a box of adult toys that I definitely did not order. Turns out, my friend Mike thought it would be hilarious to send it to me as a joke. My grandma's face will haunt me forever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 577

You deserved it 177

The Top

Today, I finally summed up the courage to break up with my abusively controlling girlfriend. I don't know what I was thinking, but instead of leaving as a free man, I left as an engaged one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 693

You deserved it 48 064

Today, a senile old lady came up to me and offered me chocolate. I noticed that it was ex-lax, so I politely told her no. My 4-year-old daughter pushed me aside and ate the ex-lax, because she thought it was candy. I now have a stinky child on a 3 hour bus ride, with no stops. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 061

You deserved it 11 177

Today, I gave a presentation in class. I felt pretty good about it, until afterwards when I was told I lost points for communication because I'd been chewing gum. I wasn't, I just have a speech impediment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 385

You deserved it 964

Today, I learned that when I leave skid marks in the toilet my wife uses my toothbrush to remove them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 988

You deserved it 50 052

Today, I accidentally sent a sext to my boss instead of my crush. Now I'm in the doghouse at work AND at home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 215

You deserved it 1 159

Today, I got invited out by friends for coffee after I broke up with my boyfriend. When I told my mom where I was going, she looked at me and said, "But you don't have friends. All your friends are pixels. Where are you really going?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 658

You deserved it 3 822