Miscellaneous: Today, while I was pulling weeds, my dad thought it would be...

By Anonymous - 30/08/2015 15:44 - United States

Today, while I was pulling weeds, my dad thought it would be absolutely hilarious to yell "Hey, son!" then unload his gun at me when I turned around. After I'd screamed like a bitch and pissed myself, he broke down into hysterical laughter and said he'd loaded the gun with blanks. Fuck you, dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 579

You deserved it 2 558

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Same thing different taste

By gengiskarn69 - 12/03/2012 14:55 - United States

Today, I thought it would be funny to sneak up on my dad while he was rummaging through his briefcase. He must have heard me, because the moment I got up close, he whirled around and yelled "BOO!" causing me to scream like a little bitch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 975

You deserved it 38 678

By Anonymous - 26/12/2015 08:29 - Australia - Perth

Today, I thought it'd be funny to sneak up behind my dad and yell "BOO!" to scare him. He didn't even flinch. All he did was calmly look over his shoulder and sigh, "Oh for fuck's sake. And you wonder why I don't love you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 131

You deserved it 4 175

By no - 17/11/2014 02:26 - United States

Today, I got in trouble for shooting my paintball gun at a piece of wood, so my dad told me to go wash it. While I was washing it, he shot me several times in the back, yelling, "That's payback for being born." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 640

You deserved it 4 002

Snapping

By Marquise - 11/07/2024 22:00 - United States - Baton Rouge

Today, my boyfriend crossed a line with his bullshit "jokes". At dinner, he once again annoyed my dad by insisting that the "AR" in "AR-15" means "assault rifle". My dad is an NRA gun nut, so he finally blew up and told him that he was going to "AR his nuts if he didn't quit fucking with him." FML

I agree, your life sucks 224

You deserved it 477

Catching strays

By Anonymous - 04/06/2024 13:00 - United States - St Louis

Today, I heard something that sounded like a series of gunshots outside my house. My Dad screamed, "Get down!" at the top of his lungs. The whole family immediately dropped to the floor, my sister whimpering and trembling, only moments later to hear my Dad cackling uncontrollably over us. They were just fireworks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 522

You deserved it 98

By idonteven - 12/08/2013 20:04 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I was watching a movie with my family in which a character said "Fuck you, dad." My dad then slapped me over the head to get my attention and said, "Never talk to your father like that." Okay, dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 030

You deserved it 4 486

By Shit - 27/04/2014 17:25 - United States - San Francisco

Today, while meeting my girlfriend's parents for the first time, her dad made a big show of cleaning his rifle, before loading it, taking aim, and blowing the hell out of a hornet's nest at the back of the yard. I fear for my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 621

You deserved it 6 743

'Murica

By Maryann - 08/02/2018 01:30

Today, I told my dad I started taking jiu-jitsu lessons. He responded by laughing and saying, "Martial arts are for pussies, you should just get a gun." FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 337

You deserved it 651

By bettercallpeta - 15/02/2013 05:42 - United States

Today, I saw my neighbor's delinquent kid shooting squirrels with a BB gun. Shocked and furious at his cruel behavior, I told him to stop, with the threat of telling his parents. He responded by shooting me in the nuts and running away in a fit of laughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 084

You deserved it 11 153

By Anonymous - 08/08/2015 05:18 - Canada

Today, I witnessed my dad wake himself from a nap with his own fart and start panicking in confusion. I guess I shouldn't have broken down laughing, because he demanded to know what I did to him. He didn't believe the truth and bitched me out for screwing around. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 553

You deserved it 2 159

Nico_di_AngeloX 13

Monday 31 August 2015 0:14

What the ****? Did your dad never learn proper gun safety? FYL OP.

nix1993 41

Monday 31 August 2015 0:14

Your Dad's a ****

Comments

Grandpa_Gray 5

Wednesday 2 September 2015 5:22

#childservices

Foxtr0tMikeLima 9

Friday 4 September 2015 3:14

Hahaha your dad rocks

Scorpio1691 29

Thursday 10 September 2015 17:54

Only in the US!!

I can't stand leg puns! 22

Saturday 12 September 2015 14:42

WHAT IN THE ******* ****?!?!?!?!?! WHO DOES THAT TO SOMEONE?!?!?!?!?!!?!??!

claysculpture 9

Monday 21 September 2015 15:45

blanks actually can kill people. and yes, I mean actual blanks, not the "thought they were blanks but they weren't" kind.

BloodyGlass 10

Saturday 26 September 2015 11:00

Bet he wasn't laughing when the cops arrested him. XD You never, ever, ******* point a gun at anything unless you intend to shoot, so he's in deep shit, blanks or not.

FereldonBorn 22

Wednesday 30 September 2015 15:32

I laughed a little bit too hard at this xD

Tyrax 16

Friday 2 September 2016 17:39

Holy shit! Doesn't your asshat of a sperm donor know people can still die from blanks? Furthermore, what if you'd had a panic attack or something? CPS.

mastatheif 8

Wednesday 26 July 2017 2:01

pussy

tolkien897 15

Thursday 17 August 2017 9:42

It doesn't matter if it's loaded with blanks or empty, you don't point or shoot at anyone or anything. you always, ALWAYS, treat a gun like it's loaded.