Miscellaneous: Today, while I was pulling weeds, my dad thought it would be...

By Anonymous - 30/08/2015 15:44 - United States

Today, while I was pulling weeds, my dad thought it would be absolutely hilarious to yell "Hey, son!" then unload his gun at me when I turned around. After I'd screamed like a bitch and pissed myself, he broke down into hysterical laughter and said he'd loaded the gun with blanks. Fuck you, dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 579

You deserved it 2 558

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

By gengiskarn69 - 12/03/2012 14:55 - United States

Today, I thought it would be funny to sneak up on my dad while he was rummaging through his briefcase. He must have heard me, because the moment I got up close, he whirled around and yelled "BOO!" causing me to scream like a little bitch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 975

You deserved it 38 678

By Anonymous - 26/12/2015 08:29 - Australia - Perth

Today, I thought it'd be funny to sneak up behind my dad and yell "BOO!" to scare him. He didn't even flinch. All he did was calmly look over his shoulder and sigh, "Oh for fuck's sake. And you wonder why I don't love you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 131

You deserved it 4 175

By no - 17/11/2014 02:26 - United States

Today, I got in trouble for shooting my paintball gun at a piece of wood, so my dad told me to go wash it. While I was washing it, he shot me several times in the back, yelling, "That's payback for being born." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 640

You deserved it 4 002

Snapping

By Marquise - 11/07/2024 22:00 - United States - Baton Rouge

Today, my boyfriend crossed a line with his bullshit "jokes". At dinner, he once again annoyed my dad by insisting that the "AR" in "AR-15" means "assault rifle". My dad is an NRA gun nut, so he finally blew up and told him that he was going to "AR his nuts if he didn't quit fucking with him." FML

I agree, your life sucks 224

You deserved it 477

Catching strays

By Anonymous - 04/06/2024 13:00 - United States - St Louis

Today, I heard something that sounded like a series of gunshots outside my house. My Dad screamed, "Get down!" at the top of his lungs. The whole family immediately dropped to the floor, my sister whimpering and trembling, only moments later to hear my Dad cackling uncontrollably over us. They were just fireworks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 522

You deserved it 98

By idonteven - 12/08/2013 20:04 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I was watching a movie with my family in which a character said "Fuck you, dad." My dad then slapped me over the head to get my attention and said, "Never talk to your father like that." Okay, dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 030

You deserved it 4 486

By Shit - 27/04/2014 17:25 - United States - San Francisco

Today, while meeting my girlfriend's parents for the first time, her dad made a big show of cleaning his rifle, before loading it, taking aim, and blowing the hell out of a hornet's nest at the back of the yard. I fear for my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 621

You deserved it 6 743

'Murica

By Maryann - 08/02/2018 01:30

Today, I told my dad I started taking jiu-jitsu lessons. He responded by laughing and saying, "Martial arts are for pussies, you should just get a gun." FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 337

You deserved it 651

By bettercallpeta - 15/02/2013 05:42 - United States

Today, I saw my neighbor's delinquent kid shooting squirrels with a BB gun. Shocked and furious at his cruel behavior, I told him to stop, with the threat of telling his parents. He responded by shooting me in the nuts and running away in a fit of laughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 084

You deserved it 11 153

By Anonymous - 08/08/2015 05:18 - Canada

Today, I witnessed my dad wake himself from a nap with his own fart and start panicking in confusion. I guess I shouldn't have broken down laughing, because he demanded to know what I did to him. He didn't believe the truth and bitched me out for screwing around. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 553

You deserved it 2 159

Nico_di_AngeloX 13

Monday 31 August 2015 0:14

What the ****? Did your dad never learn proper gun safety? FYL OP.

nix1993 41

Monday 31 August 2015 0:14

Your Dad's a ****

Comments

Jethco 15

Monday 31 August 2015 21:43

That's not funny at all. How stupid would he feel if he had loaded you full of real bullets? Accidents happen.

Sparx1_1 16

Monday 31 August 2015 22:14

"can people die from being shot with blanks" Google is your friend. Next time look it up before you say something this stupid.

brocho 26

Monday 31 August 2015 22:45

That's seriously ****** up.

TaylorHua 11

Tuesday 1 September 2015 2:41

maybe said "**** u DaD" wasn't a good thing

snipesrock 9

Tuesday 1 September 2015 4:01

that's how people get killed. one of them could have been not a blank. one of the main rules of firearms it's never point then at acting you don't wish to destroy.

Birdclawz 17

Tuesday 1 September 2015 16:21

My uncle has done the same thing to me before, it's actually pretty common. Sorry your dad scared you OP

KRYPYAT 14

Tuesday 1 September 2015 19:49

I think he needs to go over gun safety. You're NEVER supposed to point a gun at another being, even if it's unloaded. No matter what, you always treat a gun like it's loaded. That's just ridiculous. Your dad needs to smarten up. FYL, OP.

sgdigaetano 3

Tuesday 1 September 2015 20:47

What the hell is wrong with that man?

calmdownplz 3

Tuesday 1 September 2015 23:09

are you kidding me?! thats not funny at all, its how brandon lee died. during a shooting scene on a movie set one of the blank cartridges got stuck in the barrel of a gun, and the explosion of the next blank sent it out of the gun and right into brandon lee's chest. smh what a stupid man your dad is.

BradtheB_Butler 2

Wednesday 2 September 2015 4:46

Firing Blanks from a gun at close range can still cause serious injury to anyone close by from the powder discharges from the barrel. Your father is a literal dumba** if he handles a gun like that??