Miscellaneous: Today, while I was pulling weeds, my dad thought it would be...

By Anonymous - 30/08/2015 15:44 - United States

Today, while I was pulling weeds, my dad thought it would be absolutely hilarious to yell "Hey, son!" then unload his gun at me when I turned around. After I'd screamed like a bitch and pissed myself, he broke down into hysterical laughter and said he'd loaded the gun with blanks. Fuck you, dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 579

You deserved it 2 558

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

By gengiskarn69 - 12/03/2012 14:55 - United States

Today, I thought it would be funny to sneak up on my dad while he was rummaging through his briefcase. He must have heard me, because the moment I got up close, he whirled around and yelled "BOO!" causing me to scream like a little bitch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 975

You deserved it 38 678

By Anonymous - 26/12/2015 08:29 - Australia - Perth

Today, I thought it'd be funny to sneak up behind my dad and yell "BOO!" to scare him. He didn't even flinch. All he did was calmly look over his shoulder and sigh, "Oh for fuck's sake. And you wonder why I don't love you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 131

You deserved it 4 175

By no - 17/11/2014 02:26 - United States

Today, I got in trouble for shooting my paintball gun at a piece of wood, so my dad told me to go wash it. While I was washing it, he shot me several times in the back, yelling, "That's payback for being born." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 640

You deserved it 4 002

Snapping

By Marquise - 11/07/2024 22:00 - United States - Baton Rouge

Today, my boyfriend crossed a line with his bullshit "jokes". At dinner, he once again annoyed my dad by insisting that the "AR" in "AR-15" means "assault rifle". My dad is an NRA gun nut, so he finally blew up and told him that he was going to "AR his nuts if he didn't quit fucking with him." FML

I agree, your life sucks 224

You deserved it 477

Catching strays

By Anonymous - 04/06/2024 13:00 - United States - St Louis

Today, I heard something that sounded like a series of gunshots outside my house. My Dad screamed, "Get down!" at the top of his lungs. The whole family immediately dropped to the floor, my sister whimpering and trembling, only moments later to hear my Dad cackling uncontrollably over us. They were just fireworks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 521

You deserved it 98

By idonteven - 12/08/2013 20:04 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I was watching a movie with my family in which a character said "Fuck you, dad." My dad then slapped me over the head to get my attention and said, "Never talk to your father like that." Okay, dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 030

You deserved it 4 486

By Shit - 27/04/2014 17:25 - United States - San Francisco

Today, while meeting my girlfriend's parents for the first time, her dad made a big show of cleaning his rifle, before loading it, taking aim, and blowing the hell out of a hornet's nest at the back of the yard. I fear for my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 621

You deserved it 6 743

'Murica

By Maryann - 08/02/2018 01:30

Today, I told my dad I started taking jiu-jitsu lessons. He responded by laughing and saying, "Martial arts are for pussies, you should just get a gun." FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 337

You deserved it 651

By bettercallpeta - 15/02/2013 05:42 - United States

Today, I saw my neighbor's delinquent kid shooting squirrels with a BB gun. Shocked and furious at his cruel behavior, I told him to stop, with the threat of telling his parents. He responded by shooting me in the nuts and running away in a fit of laughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 084

You deserved it 11 153

By Anonymous - 08/08/2015 05:18 - Canada

Today, I witnessed my dad wake himself from a nap with his own fart and start panicking in confusion. I guess I shouldn't have broken down laughing, because he demanded to know what I did to him. He didn't believe the truth and bitched me out for screwing around. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 553

You deserved it 2 159

Nico_di_AngeloX 13

Monday 31 August 2015 0:14

What the ****? Did your dad never learn proper gun safety? FYL OP.

nix1993 41

Monday 31 August 2015 0:14

Your Dad's a ****

Comments

worldclassrager 39

Monday 31 August 2015 10:18

That's beyond not right...

sailorarctic 22

Monday 31 August 2015 13:51

blanks can still be lethal. Does the name Brandon Lee sound familiar to your father?

TheLostCauseFML 40

Monday 31 August 2015 13:54

How old is he? And is he single? lol Just kidding. Still dangerous though... Glad you're alive.

tiger820 20

Monday 31 August 2015 15:18

was your mom in the window recording this? I want to see the footage! ? but yeah thats ****** up.

GrumpyGrinch 23

Monday 31 August 2015 15:18

One comment here said: If he does it again then OP should get the cops involved. NO! Not IF he does again, but immediately, right now! In every country I have ever lived this is legally assault, this is child abuse (if OP is still underage). All those other versions of "sweet revenge" can only get the situation worse a) by dad thinking that this is a funny game you both enjoy playing, b) he may start intentional domestic abuse, if this was just a try-out, c) OP may do something that lands him in jail instead of dad. No contemplating about dad's retirement home some time along the road, its jail right now! + the planet will be safer. Just move, OP! This is not something that should be kept within the family.

adam040802 6

Monday 31 August 2015 15:19

wow WTF

newyearstandup 13

Monday 31 August 2015 15:34

Didn't even have to look at the location to know this was America... You guys seriously gotta get some gun laws. Nothing about this is funny and your dad is an asshole and potential psycho. Sorry OP.

Bragi 12

Monday 31 August 2015 18:56

@153 - We have plenty of gun laws and that was "assault with a deadly weapon" a class B felony. No law can prevent stupid, only punish it.

deadvacum 10

Monday 31 August 2015 17:39

Honestly i would've called the police.

twistedtwincity 17

Monday 31 August 2015 19:29

Brandon lee died because he shot himself in the head with a gun loaded with "blanks" not cool!

Ms_Monster 6

Tuesday 1 September 2015 4:01

Brandon Lee died after being shot in the abdomen by another actor during the filming of a scene in The Crow. The gun in question was loaded with blank rounds, but there was an actual bullet stuck in the barrel from a previous scene. When the gun went off, it pretty much had the same force as a live round.

ADBurns 22

Monday 31 August 2015 19:48

Annnnnd another reason that if only one gun law in the states existed it should be this - Stupid people are banned from owning, operating or indeed thinking about guns...