Miscellaneous: Today, while I was walking home alone, a homeless man approached...

By Anonymous - 10/07/2012 16:43 - Canada

Today, while I was walking home alone, a homeless man approached me and took me by the hand. Apparently, he's been watching me for weeks and has fallen madly in love with me. He told me not to worry, though, he's "not a rapist." FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 271

You deserved it 2 460

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 16/05/2009 00:11 - Canada

Today, as I was walking towards my friends at the bus stop, a man came up to me and asked me out. This was the first time I'd be asked out in months. I accepted. When I reached my friends they looked at me then asked, "Why were you talking to that homeless guy?". FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 466

You deserved it 18 206

Love is love

By o___O" - 10/05/2013 20:11 - Belgium - Brussels

Today, while at the supermarket, a complete stranger ran up to me, got down on his knee and confessed his love for me. He was obviously mentally unstable, so I gently declined. He started crying very loudly in front of everyone. I still don't have a clue who he was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 110

You deserved it 4 766

Vanilla Ice

By NotInterested - 23/08/2013 06:23 - United States

Today, I was walking home when I made eye contact with some guy, just being friendly. He then started rapping at me while pointing at his dick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 095

You deserved it 4 639

Too good to be true

By Anonymous - 20/04/2021 08:00

Today, after being hella single through this pandemic, I was gently stopped by an attractive man on my way to the bus stop. He looked deep into my eyes, and I took my headphones out so I could hear him better. Then, he started moving nervously, took a breath… and offered me meth, before tweaking away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 010

You deserved it 119

By prettylady? - 28/10/2012 04:22 - United States

Today, I said "bless you" to a nice man who sneezed on the subway. That nice man has now followed me home and stood outside my apartment complex for two hours, claiming to be my "soulmate." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 129

You deserved it 2 861

By SpongeAbii2 - 24/01/2012 11:47 - United Kingdom

Today, I was walking home when an old guy came up to me asking for directions. After I pointed him in the right direction, he held my hand, stroked my face then pushed me into a bush. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 765

You deserved it 2 979

Consider the offer

By Anonymous - 03/01/2024 23:00 - United States

Today, I, someone who has experienced only one romantic relationship in my 35 years (which ended 8 years ago), was hit on by a homeless drug felon client at work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 437

You deserved it 125

By meesmees - 23/11/2013 10:48 - United States - Severna Park

Today, I ended up talking to a homeless man and bought him a meal. In return, he hugged me and groped my ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 819

You deserved it 6 814

By Anonymous - 20/08/2013 08:38 - United Kingdom - Colchester

Today, on the train, I was sitting next to a homeless man. As we left the train he shook my hand and was seemingly on his way. That was until he caught me greeting my boyfriend, to which he decided to tell the romantic story of how he murdered a man for "getting too close to his woman." FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 885

You deserved it 3 144

Trust

By oww - 14/05/2020 08:02

Today, I told my boyfriend we should avoid the local walking trail after I got followed by a homeless man. He assured me we’d be fine and the guy wouldn’t approach me as long as I had a man with me. Wrong. We both got beat up and robbed by said homeless man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 201

You deserved it 357

xcarxcrashx 9

Tuesday 10 July 2012 23:54

If he said it it must be true.

Three4Ten 10

Tuesday 10 July 2012 23:54

Well at least he's not a rapist!

Comments

sko12342 3

Sunday 15 July 2012 7:46

What a wonderful tale! I'll go get the string quartet and the birds!

littlelia 22

Sunday 15 July 2012 23:14

At least he's not a rapist(:

SammeiLovesYou 2

Saturday 21 July 2012 12:46

Omg, that's creepy xD

Alyssa5206 1

Tuesday 2 October 2012 11:07

Yes cause that is reassuring at it very least.

Malaki691 15

Tuesday 3 June 2014 16:33

Well at least he's honest right...good luck hope it all works out with you two :)

Marine_Semper_Fi 1

Saturday 23 August 2014 5:50

This reminds me of the fisher king with robin Williams

399 41

Tuesday 10 May 2016 20:10

FYL OP that sucks and if I were you I wouldn't be walking home alone anymore.

littl3storm 29

Sunday 12 June 2016 0:10

AW I feel bad for him, poor guy

Keywords

Food Toxic Family Miscellaneous Gross Love Health Valentine's Day Homeowners Home improvement Kids Awkward Drugs Babysitter Music Lonely Crush Wanker Intimacy Relatable Animals Cats Work Coworkers Transportation Airplanes Embarrassing Sleep Mental health Cute

The Top

Today, I’m now so unfit, I had to stop halfway through sex with my wife to catch my breath, and in the end we just gave up, as clearly neither of us was having an orgasm today. I don’t get it, I weigh exactly 11 stone and exercise regularly, but I have no stamina and shit lungs. I hate myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 294

You deserved it 352

Today, while I was at work, my wife sent me a few pictures of her in a new lingerie, to "spice up" my day. She didn't realize that I have iCloud turned on so I can share files with my colleagues. My boss and a dozen other employees received the same pictures. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 856

You deserved it 27 154

The Top

Today, I found out that the reason all my former friends believed a bunch of rumors about me was because the person they were hearing them from was my former roommate. For two years I wondered why they didn't just ask me, now I know it's because they thought if anyone would know the truth, it would be her. UGH. FML

I agree, your life sucks 402

You deserved it 61

Today, I can’t make it to my friend’s birthday party because my dog died this morning. I called my friend to inform her and she screamed at me because a "dumb animal" is more important than her best friend. Oh, and she asked me if that also means she won’t be getting a present. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 459

You deserved it 132

Today, I got fired from my job. When I asked why, all that was said to me was, "We don't have to disclose that information, but you did nothing wrong. It's just not working out." FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 057

You deserved it 1 469

Today, while lying in bed with my girlfriend, she was grabbing the fat on my stomach. I said to her, "Quit touching my fat!" She replied, "So don't touch you at all?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 904

You deserved it 24 999

Today, I was sitting at the bar of a popular local restaurant. I sat there for a few hours and drank my sorrows away with the bartender. I thought she was pretty, and decided to give her a large tip. The tip sent me over my credit card limit, and the bartender is not single. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 429

You deserved it 35 436

Today, I was thinking about how I saw Eric from That '70s Show at an airport and never said anything to him. I still regret it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 158

You deserved it 708