Health: Today, while in class, I desperately had to fart. Someone in...

By anonymous - 08/06/2011 16:47 - United States

Today, while in class, I desperately had to fart. Someone in the room had a coughing fit, so I took that as the chance to let it out. When I was about to release, the coughing stopped. I couldn't stop in time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 634

You deserved it 43 511

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 30/09/2013 16:22 - United States - Union

Today, while in class, I had to sneeze. Not wanting to make a lot of noise, I held it in, only to instead let out a huge, long fart. Everyone, including the teacher, turned and stared at me intently. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 365

You deserved it 8 112

By dealtit - 30/07/2014 03:49 - United States - Toccoa

Today, I accidentally farted in the middle of class. Thinking I got away with it, I just kept doing my work until some kid across the room says, "I could have done better." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 167

You deserved it 6 848

UTI

By Anonymous - 09/01/2021 07:01 - United States - Fort Worth

Today, while studying in the library, I felt a sudden urge to pass gas. There were not too many people around, so I let it go while in my seat and it went unnoticed. What caught the attention of everybody was the puddle slowly forming under my seat. Turns out, I farted so hard I pissed myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 510

You deserved it 1 070

Better out than in

By Anonymous - 25/03/2024 20:00 - United States

Today, I was in the middle of a chemistry exam when I felt an urgent need to fart that was difficult to hold in. I sit in the back, so I tried to do the "One Cheek Sneak." It came out sounding like a loud, obnoxious kazoo. The professor remarked, "No hazardous chemicals outside the lab!" Everyone laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 427

You deserved it 237

By wheezy - 03/12/2013 17:28 - United States - Bay Springs

Today, while giving speech in class, I choked on my own spit and had a coughing fit while everyone stared at me intently. When I finally regained my composure, my teacher told me my time was up and to sit down. I hadn't even got finished the first paragraph. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 927

You deserved it 4 221

Toot toot

By Anonymous - 08/07/2022 12:00 - Hong Kong - Central District

Today, I had a dictation test. The whole classroom was silent, but I suddenly needed to fart. Not to break the silence, I wanted to fart slowly in the hope it would be silent. It didn't make the fart less obvious, it just made it longer, so that everyone noticed and started laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 891

You deserved it 399

By fartwoman - 23/06/2010 01:41 - United States

Today, in math class, I had the urge to fart. I had the bright idea that if I dropped my textbook and farted at the same time, nobody would hear it. I dropped my textbook, everyone looked at me, then I farted. Loudly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 134

You deserved it 62 899

By yogapants - 24/09/2010 20:21 - Switzerland

Today, I let out the most horrific, loudest, and most vile smelling fart I have ever had in my life while in the middle of yoga class. Out of embarrassment, I tried to lessen the tension in the silent room by giggling, but no one saw the funny side. I was given looks of horror, and avoided by everyone else for the rest of the class. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 250

You deserved it 14 868

Let it all out

By Anonymous - 25/03/2023 22:00 - Australia

Today, I was in a meeting with my boss and some new clients when I sensed that I was about to sneeze. I tried to hold it in, but ended up sneezing AND farting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 836

You deserved it 140

Both ends

By Anon - 19/06/2024 12:00 - United States - Birmingham

Today, I was in a meeting when I felt a sneeze coming on. I tried to hold it in to avoid making a noise. Instead, I ended up sneeze-imploding so hard that I accidentally farted at the same time. The entire room went silent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 445

You deserved it 133

Offensive_fml 4

Wednesday 8 June 2011 22:07

Tell the teacher to let you go to the bathroom, step outside, fart and come back in >.>.

DontModMeDammit 10

Wednesday 8 June 2011 22:07

At lease you didn't shart.

Comments

ihaveatightbutt 0

Wednesday 8 June 2011 23:19

why didnt you start coughing and let it out then

WiderWille 11

Wednesday 8 June 2011 23:27

Pressure and this stuff... Don't you have your own body to test that this is a bad idea?

bewbies 3

Friday 10 June 2011 19:41

that's what I do

geko911 22

Wednesday 8 June 2011 23:28

you wont get on that plane for possession of a chemical bomb :P

Krystalyyy 0

Wednesday 8 June 2011 23:36

oooooooops ;)

jessyrodgers 0

Wednesday 8 June 2011 23:41

it's better to have an empty house than an agry tenant

jessyrodgers 0

Wednesday 8 June 2011 23:43

angry*

Ambrielle 0

Wednesday 8 June 2011 23:44

Your life stinks. Literally.

kaileigh10 2

Wednesday 8 June 2011 23:44

that's hilarious!!! I'm posting this on Facebook!

mizzflory 5

Wednesday 8 June 2011 23:50

just laugh haha

mtylor86 0

Wednesday 8 June 2011 23:53

Why would you still be in school? It's June 8th...hello summer.

hawkeye12221 0

Thursday 9 June 2011 0:23

i have finals still, then there are year round schools...

KickItHigh 32

Thursday 9 June 2011 6:41

Are you stupid? There are schools that start in September and end in June. Not all schools start in August, genius. -.-

Pinkbun17 9

Wednesday 15 June 2011 6:39

I'm still in school, I get out freaking June 16th, but most people start school again is August, and I don't! :P

HouseKeeping 0

Wednesday 8 June 2011 23:54

No... no clean it...

SeerePetrova 0

Wednesday 8 June 2011 23:56

and how will you cover the smell dude

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The Top

Today, my girlfriend went on a date with her mechanic. She said it was to get discounts when she goes in for maintenance. Not only does she not see a problem with it, but she's probably getting discounts on other services too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 740

You deserved it 5 265

Today, after having had a sore throat all day, I finally decided to have a throat lozenge on the bus. It was nice and soothing, until the bus sharply turned a corner and I started coughing and choking on it violently like a cat with a furball. My throat now feels like Satan pissed nails down it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 394

You deserved it 88

The Top

Today, I went to a theater and saw "Bruno" with my mom. We saw "Borat" together, so I thought, 'Hey, how bad could it be?' I don't know what was more nauseating: Bruno's penis spinning around and talking or the fact that my mom thought it was hilarious and couldn't stop laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 865

You deserved it 25 744

Today, my dad handed me my refilled birth control prescription. I thanked him, and he replied, "Well, God forbid you run out and reproduce." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 377

You deserved it 334

Today, I've been freezing in my office for days at work. When I finally complained about it to a coworker, she led me into my office, said, "Let me show you something," then pointed out the thermostat I'd never noticed was even there and turned it up with a pitying look. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 621

You deserved it 26 693

Today, my roommate told me she's coming back from her family's large house in Reno to Hawaii, because she "wants to work." We have a 14-day visitor's quarantine. And my workplace extended this to travellers' roommates. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 532

You deserved it 128

Today, my wife is very insistent that we try to get our boys more involved in her religion, starting with church tomorrow morning. She foolishly trusts our boys to behave. They really don’t want to go and I’m convinced they’re plotting something bad, like real bad, the devious little hooligans. FML

I agree, your life sucks 373

You deserved it 261

Today, I learned that there's a colony of bats living inside my walls. The devices to prevent them from reentering are angering those remaining inside, and now I can hear them scuttling and screeching in almost every wall and ceiling in my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 615

You deserved it 495