Love: Today, while kissing my girlfriend's neck, I sneezed a blob of...

By sneezer - 30/12/2008 04:54 - France

Today, while kissing my girlfriend's neck, I sneezed a blob of snot onto her. She told me that "it doesn't matter", while hiccuping a bit of vomit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 175

You deserved it 7 037

The rhythm of the fight
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Same thing different taste

Hott

By hotheadslav - 21/06/2015 01:59 - United States - Warsaw

Today, I was on a date with a girl and everything was going great. As I took her back to her house and walked her to her door, I leaned in for a kiss. She seemed to really enjoy it, so I went for another but as I leaned in again, I sneezed uncontrollably, shooting her face with saliva and snot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 923

You deserved it 4 504

By Anonymous - 16/08/2010 20:20 - United States

Today, I kissed my girlfriend. She threw up in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 924

You deserved it 6 674

Ewwwwwww

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, instead of pushing me away or simply stopping for a minute, my girlfriend kept kissing me as she was trying to get phlegm out of her throat. The slimy goo ended up in the back of my mouth. I can still taste it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 346

You deserved it 4 961

Do it again

By thornrose22 - 01/11/2009 00:22 - United States

Today, my boyfriend went down on me for the first time. After about five minutes, he sneezes violently on me. I don't know what's worse, him getting snot all over my intimate bits or the fact that the sneeze felt better then what he was doing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 234

You deserved it 3 202

By davincourt - 29/04/2012 18:31 - United States - Apollo Beach

Today, I woke up to my girlfriend wiping a booger off her finger and onto my lip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 285

You deserved it 3 004

By Anonymous - 08/07/2012 11:26 - Australia

Today, I witnessed my boyfriend sneeze in his hands, and then lick it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 115

You deserved it 3 501

By Anonymous - 04/10/2014 12:11 - United States - Brevard

Today, I tried kissing my boyfriend on the tip of his nose. He sneezed mid-kiss and headbutted me. Now, there's just an awkward silence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 684

You deserved it 4 726

By SaMike - 01/09/2009 01:12 - United States

Today, I took my girlfriend to the movies. She's pretty conservative and I decided after four dates to give her her first ever kiss. As I leaned in she violently sneezed and hit me in the nose with the hand she brought up to cover her face. I broke my nose and got blood down her cleavage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 743

You deserved it 4 743

By Achoo - 15/10/2009 07:07 - United States

Today, I was making out with a guy I really like. Midway through, he stopped and said he had to sneeze. After waiting several seconds, he said the urge went away and we kept making out. Ten seconds later, he violently sneezed in my open mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 907

You deserved it 5 152

Bad timing, dude

By Anonymous - 24/02/2021 07:59 - Australia

Today, in the middle of asking my girlfriend to marry me, I sneezed so hard that I farted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 018

You deserved it 150

yoursavinggrace 0

Tuesday 24 February 2009 1:17

Aw, you guys are so disgusting together.

0___0 9

Saturday 28 February 2009 10:45

lol keep that to yourself next time :~

Comments

MetroidSlayer01 8

Saturday 20 February 2010 6:59

WTF is wrong with you???

looneyben5432 0

Monday 5 April 2010 5:12

u sound like a cute couple

beepelati 5

Sunday 13 June 2010 1:53

HAHAHA winn

beepelati 5

Sunday 13 June 2010 1:55

HAHAha well OP, it's a sign from above, you guys are MEANT to be!

aidanawesome 0

Wednesday 23 June 2010 8:47

thats delicious

uluvmyexistence 0

Tuesday 3 August 2010 4:44

u guys both make me sick. u r disgusting and im glad ive never met either of u. especially not BOTH of you

SenoraC 0

Wednesday 25 August 2010 3:34

Best comment on here.

RUSH777 0

Wednesday 12 January 2011 23:43

Are you ******* kidding? Neither if these things were intentional, and it's not like they could have helped it.

SaharNar 0

Friday 8 April 2011 23:53

awww that's disgusting :) and a lil funny :D

minemine_fml 0

Friday 24 June 2011 7:19

Awww ;) You guys are so perfect for each other! In a weird and kind of gross way..but Awwww ;)

rachael21 0

Saturday 23 July 2011 8:59

and this is the sign that you guys are wayyyyy to comfortable with each other lol

undead101 0

Sunday 31 July 2011 17:17

tha's sooo grossss

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The Top

Today, I learned that when you stand up to a bully in a bar, it never ends like it does in the movies, the bully doesn’t get knocked out, and you don’t get the girl. What you get is a trip to hospital, banned from the bar, and the girl goes home with the bully while you lie in the ambulance. FML

I agree, your life sucks 817

You deserved it 543

Today, I accidentally said the wrong name during sex. That name just happened to be "Sarah", which is both my ex-girlfriend's name and my wife's sister's name. When she asked me which one I meant, I panicked and said, "Both." FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 152

You deserved it 60 774

The Top

Today, after I was finally able to afford a house in a nicer area so my kids could go to a better school, I was practically in the house for about 30 seconds before I started getting messages from neighbours, insinuating they don’t appreciate “my sort” and I should, “piss off back to Muslim-land.” I was born in Oxford. FML

I agree, your life sucks 996

You deserved it 137

Today, my long-term girlfriend broke up with me because my hair "falls out" and I "will definitely be bald soon", even though it's not that bad. The same girl who I supported through her chemotherapy and gave her promises that I would stay with her no matter how she looked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 543

You deserved it 1 983

Today, my family and I were celebrating my dad's birthday. The two of us were standing by the pool chatting, and I jokingly said "You're old now." I suppose I should have expected him to shove me into the pool, my phone still in hand, and retort, "You're soaked now." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 830

You deserved it 18 666

Today, my girlfriend decided to invite her best friend over for a threesome. This would've been the best day ever, had I not been at work while it was taking place. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 082

You deserved it 4 241

Today, my husband and I were watching Lord of the Rings. My husband told me he sees the eye of Sauron every time he goes down on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 326

You deserved it 4 076

Today, I’ve been up since 5am getting everything ready for the beach. This is the first nice weekend we’ve had this season. I have a dressed toddler asleep on the couch and grown ass man that refuses to get out of bed. Today it’s 80 degrees. Next weekend is 50 degrees. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 988

You deserved it 660