Health: Today, while laughing at a jogger that fell down while running,... - FML

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By teapotrevolt - 02/03/2015 20:40 - Canada - Winnipeg

Today, while laughing at a jogger that fell down while running, I choked on my French fries. They had to give me the Heimlich maneuver. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 494

You deserved it 54 255

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Same thing different taste

Choked

By embarrassing - 15/07/2021 18:01

Today, I went out to eat with friends. My crush was also at the restaurant with his friends. He smiled at me as I took a mouthful of food, and I choked. The waitress had to perform the Heimlich maneuver on me, while he and his friends fell off their chairs laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 963

You deserved it 163

Thanks…

By Anonymous - 16/03/2011 12:53 - United States

Today, I had a violent coughing fit while at the store, which caused a lady to think I was choking, grab me from behind and start doing the Heimlich maneuver incorrectly. She broke two of my ribs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 207

You deserved it 3 954

By hbt51 - 17/08/2015 19:56 - United States - Blue Ridge

Today, while out jogging, I was suddenly hit with unbelievable gastric distress. I wasn't wearing brown pants when I set out on that jog, but I sure was when I made it back home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 035

You deserved it 1 949

Easy mistake

By helper - 01/12/2009 06:15 - Costa Rica

Today, while dining at a restaurant I heard a women choking. I immediately ran to her, wrapped my arms around her and started giving her abdominal thrusts. She freed herself and slapped me. Turns out she wasn't choking, she was just laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 675

You deserved it 34 843

Honest mistake

By Anonymous - 02/12/2024 03:00 - Australia

Today, I mistook a coworker’s laughter for choking and performed the Heimlich maneuver on them in the break room. They weren’t choking, but now they’re afraid to laugh near me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 156

You deserved it 511

By 50sStyle - 12/06/2017 19:00 - United States - Hartland

Today, during lunch, I choked on my food and possibly came close to death when my boyfriend's best friend performed the Heimlich Maneuver on me, potentially saving my life. My boyfriend then started arguing with me over letting his best friend touch my stomach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 597

You deserved it 418

Performative

By OliviaO - 24/12/2024 14:00 - United States

Today, I laughed so hard at a joke that I snorted, which caused me to choke on my Coke, which then caused me to fall off my chair. The joke wasn’t even that funny. FML

I agree, your life sucks 209

You deserved it 264

Wardrobe change please

By Meagan Ortiz - 16/08/2020 23:02

Today, I choked on water so hard that I threw up and shat myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 558

You deserved it 265

Autumn vibes

By Robbo - 26/10/2024 22:00 - United States - New York

Today, I went for a jog to enjoy the fall weather. I tripped over a tree root and fell face-first into a pile of leaves. As I tried to get up, a bunch of kids had gathered to laugh, and one even shouted something about, “A grown-ass man playing in the leaves!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 353

You deserved it 96

Emergency

By swaiteATC - 28/07/2009 04:11 - United States

Today, I was sitting in the break room at work eating lunch when I started to choke. My face turned red and tears began welling up in my eyes. Two of my coworkers were there. They began to argue over who would have to give me the Heimlich maneuver rather than helping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 335

You deserved it 2 666

Next

Top comments

rocketgurl 15

Monday 2 March 2015 23:33

OP: 0 Jogger: 1

Ramos808 29

Monday 2 March 2015 23:34

Karma sucks, doesn't it? Next time, don't make fun of others!

Comments

jqmalang 17

Tuesday 3 March 2015 7:25

Karma is a bitch indeed.

1947Chevy 17

Tuesday 3 March 2015 7:40

That's some irony

doctorwholover17 9

Tuesday 3 March 2015 8:09

Karma at its finest

8Dirty1 24

Tuesday 3 March 2015 9:08

asshole

skitsoloco 9

Tuesday 3 March 2015 9:29

pressed both because i would've honestly laughed a little too

BasedgodFYB 8

Tuesday 3 March 2015 10:35

Both are funny

2ralos 6

Tuesday 3 March 2015 14:07

Duuude, that's not cool

The_Podfather 16

Tuesday 3 March 2015 16:15

I hope you thanked him and apologized!

teapotrevolt 27

Tuesday 3 March 2015 18:15

Go read my comment

laughingtoohard 14

Tuesday 3 March 2015 19:33

You must not be Canadian

HighasaCloud 46

Tuesday 3 March 2015 20:14

I hope you appreciate that man's kindness for helping you out even though you burned him. If you laughed at me, I would have just continued on my way and pretended I didn't notice your choking.

MzZombicidal 36

Wednesday 4 March 2015 3:46

Yes, leave someone in a life-risking situation because they laughed at a stumble. Definitely the proper reaction...

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The Top

Today, I left my old job and started my new one, which came with a hefty pay raise and better benefits. Previously, I was a lab analyst performing research, which required a college degree and several years of work experience. Now, I'm a gas station manager. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 032

You deserved it 158

Today, my cute co-worker asked if he could use my computer. I told him my password and went to the bathroom. When I came back he said he'd finished. I tried to log in, but my password wouldn't work. I then noticed a Post-it note on the desk saying, "Stop stalking me and I'll change the password back." FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 985

You deserved it 41 185

The Top

Today, I've been binge-watching a certain Twitch/YouTube streamer. I love his political insights, but I've noticed he keeps saying, "On accident." It grinds my gears so much, I had to go outside and listen to birds chirping instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 519

You deserved it 577

Today, my dad brought the double barrel shotgun to my room, gave me his hat and said, "It's all about survival now. At any cost, Coral." He keeps calling me Coral. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 486

You deserved it 252

Today, at a fancy dress party, I got off with Hitler. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 639

You deserved it 40 439

Today, I was shopping when I suddenly slipped on the wet floor and my basket and my groceries were flung everywhere. Moments later, one of the cleaners walked over holding a "wet floor" sign, saw me and laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 756

You deserved it 3 685

Today, my girlfriend of three years broke up with me because I'm in the military and I'm gone too much. The reason I enlisted in the first place is because we agreed that the money and benefits I would earn would help us be able to start a family in the future. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 949

You deserved it 3 977

Today, I saw a customer at the restaurant I work at lovingly petting his cheeseburger and whispering sweet promises to it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 132

You deserved it 3 739